How do I make his fits shorter?

Stacey - posted on 05/28/2009 ( 3 moms have responded )

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I'm a stay-at-home mom. My son Gage Kalan is 16 months old and a hand full. I survived meningitis that I got from my emergency c-section and mentally I'm still affected. I have post menigits headaches ( I have 3 migraines a week n i have a dull headache all the time that never goes away) and have tried everything for relief. My son is at that age where he wants to be more independant but when I tell him no he still throws a fit. I cant take the fits. My head feels like it's going to explode everytime. Are there any ways I can teach him to calm down. I'm a very patient mom and he's really a well behaved kid. I'm just looking to try new things. When I tell him no, I explain to him why he cant do that and I try to distract him by taking him to something else but he remembers I took something away from him or that I told him he cant do something. I dont want to hit him for expressing his anger but I also dont want him to overdo it. Any help would be greatly appreciated.

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Dawn - posted on 05/29/2009

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I definitely agree with Elizabeth. The best thing to do during your son's fits is to have a specific place for him to have his time outs, like a time out mat. I wouldn't use a chair just for safety reasons. Tell him no and explain why what he is doing is not allowed. Let him throw his fit in the "time out" area and ignore him, especially if he lets out the lovely belting scream. Make sure you can see the "time out" area but do not be right next to him. The fits will be less intense and less frequent. It takes time for progress to show but hang in there, it will get better. While he is throwing his tantrum have a cup of tea or do something that is relaxing and keeps your mind off of the noise. My son threw his fair share of dramatic fits when he was younger and this seemed to work for me. I too can somewhat understand your pain I suffered from migraine type headaches for the first 3 years after my son was born. Good Luck!

Stacey - posted on 05/28/2009

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Thanx Elizabeth. It's nice to know I'm not the only mom out there with neurological damage. You have two kids. Wow! I cant even imagine. I'm going to have to try that. Thank you so much for your advice!

Elizabeth - posted on 05/28/2009

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I feel your pain, literally. I have a neurological disorder that gives me a constant headache, some days are worse than others. And I have a 2 year old trying to assert himself and a 4 year old trying to be the boss over everything. And the best advice I can give you is do what you're doing (explaining why he's in trouble, taking things away) but then IGNORE him. I know, what? Put him someplace safe, playpen, couch, a corner without anything he can get into, and just walk away. Let him have his tantrum with you in another room (you'll still be able to hear him, but not as bad), and eventually (it takes several tries), he's going to start realizing he's not getting what he wants from it. Because that's why he's doing it in the first place, cause it gets a reaction out of you. I lose my temper easier when my head is hurting badly, so this was my only option, I had to walk away for me and them. Good luck!

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