How do I stop my child from growling at me?

Darla - posted on 11/22/2010 ( 25 moms have responded )

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My 7 year child growls at me when I ask him to do something. I have tried everything I can think of. I have grounded him, took away TV, spanked him, took away is favorite toy away. And much , much more. I am up for any suggestions you may have.

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Jodi - posted on 11/22/2010

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Please don't hit a child anywhere in the face! There are other things you can try. Have you tried rewarding him for GOOD behaviour? For instance, would he like to have a friend over for a sleepover one night, or to play one day? Would he like you to take him to the park? Would he like to stay up 1/2 hour later one night? Why not reward his *good* behaviour with these things. With more positive discipline, you will generally see more positive behaviour.



I have a 13 year old son, and I can honestly count on one hand how often I have spanked him (one spank on the butt), and it was a long time ago, because honestly, I have come to the conclusion it is not necessary and it really doesn't give long term results. It may work in that instant, but it doesn't solve the problem. A combination of punishment and rewards works for him. But I would never dream of smacking a child on the mouth, or anywhere near the face. It is also illegal and considered abuse where I live anyway, and for good reason.



Also, my son receives an allowance, but he doesn't get it if he grumbles about his chores. That is a pretty big incentive to him. You could try a sticker chart with a reward at the end of the week or month, etc. Remove a sticker each time he shows an undesirable behaviour, add a sticker each time he shows the respect you are asking for.



Believe me, it can be done without hitting.

Bree - posted on 11/22/2010

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I agree with the "ignore it" method. If you drop it, he might too. If not maybe move on to other methods. I'm sure it's annoying but it's not hurting anyone so you have time to try different things to correct it. At this point, with all of the things you have tried, I think if you just stop acknowledging it he'll get bored with it. My daughter thinks she's a teenager so everything I tell her she said "meh" to for the longest time. I told her it was annoying and I expected her to answer me like I am her Mother, not her friend. She continued to say "meh" when I'd tell her to, say, feed the dogs. I ignored it after the first conversation and she quit.
I don't think that a "pop in the mouth" is the worst idea in the universe but I do think it might be better saved for a worse infringement. I got popped at about 14 when I called someone a B-word in front of my Mom. Didn't do it again. In front of my Mom anyways. I do think that the other methods seem a bit more PC and like something you should try first. But in the end, its your life and your kid therefore your decisions.
Good luck!!

PS- have you tried growling back? Louder and more menacing? That probably would have been my first tactic but that's just because I'm weird lol

[deleted account]

Please don't hit your child! Studies have even proven that children who are hit have lower IQs! it teaches children the wrong lesson. It will teach your son that if he growls at you he gets hit. Wouldn't you rather your son learn that growling is rude? I know it is a subtle difference..
But as Jodi said, it may give immediate results but is not effective long term.
I agree with Jodi in that you can reward positive/good behavior.
It can look something like this
First - tell your son that growling is not okay, it is rude and hurtful.
Then later -
You: Son can you please set the table for dinner
Son: GRRRR
You: oh that is so sad that you are being rude and disrespectful. you may go to your room now and growl all you want in there. when you are ready to treat me respectfully you may come out and join our family again.

Later -
son - I would like to watch TV
You: I provide TV to children who are respectful and kind to their me. You have not been respectful and kind.
Son: BUT BUT BUT
You: I love you too much to argue.

Look at how nice that is - no yelling - no stress!
I took this stuff straight from Love and Logic. I adore their parenting strategies! I really urge you to check them out!
www.loveandlogic.com

Charlie - posted on 11/23/2010

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OMG I am more than worried that someone suggested you ESCALATE agressive tactics towards your son and you are actually going to try it ! what if that doesnt work are you going to go even harder ? please think about this rationally , I think there has been some great advice and qqiet frankly he is being a typical kid , stop focusing on the bad and reward the good when he does do what he is told to give him some incentive .

Sarh - posted on 11/22/2010

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You have to ignore it! Children do things just like bullies do. If they get ANY attention/rise out of you whether good or bad they will continue to do so. My daughter did some similar things, I ignored it and she stopped doing them.

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Fihreta - posted on 08/13/2013

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Hey I just read your post. I know it's three years later but I was wondering if any of these comments helped and which one worked on your child?

Stifler's - posted on 11/24/2010

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I agree with the others... if he growls at you, make it obvious you are ignoring him and won't respond to him unless he talks properly.

Shawnda - posted on 11/24/2010

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wahts funny is that my little cousin yused to do this all the time! when he did it to me I asked him "are you some kind of animal?" he says "GRRRR NOOO!" I say "Only animals growl. Animals live out side. Do you want to go outside like the animal you are acting like?" he looks at me funny and says "I'm not an animal!" I say "Stop acting like one then" since then he has not growled at anyone!

[deleted account]

You Ignore it you act like you never heard it.. they have to relies it does not effect you in the least bit :) Now it will take time and the child might even get louder or do it in public more anything to get your attention continue to ignore it and you'll see one day it just goes away sorta like a faze...

Christina - posted on 11/23/2010

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Since you've tried everything, I'd simply ignore him. Don't say anything or acknowledge him in anyway the next time he growls at you. It may take a little time and you might be tempted to say or do something but don't. If you don't acknowledge him when he growls, he'll eventually realize that you are no longer affected by it and quit doing it! Good luck!

Darla - posted on 11/23/2010

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I have a friend that I can call and for some reason my son is scared of her to a point he loves her. I threaten to call her and he acts fine for awhile and then it right back to were we started from.

Fallon - posted on 11/23/2010

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My son is 4 years old and does crazy and obnoxious things sometimes and he doesn't respond to most punishment. The only thing I have found that works on him is that I tell him I am going to tell his friends about his behavior. Of course I never would, but boys even from a young age don't like to do anything that will embarrass him in front of his friends. It works for me.

Bree - posted on 11/23/2010

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No problem. It could lighten the stress for you too...cause it might be fun lol...or maybe he'll laugh and stop doing it. I hope it works!

Darla - posted on 11/23/2010

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Bree S I have not thought about growling back I am going to try that. Thanks!!

Darla - posted on 11/23/2010

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I do not want to send him to his room either because that his safe place for him. And I do not want him to think that every time he gets in trouble he has to go to his room. I will put him in the corner before I sent him to his room.

Iysha - posted on 11/23/2010

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when my sister was 6 she would say the F-word...we all ignored it (mom, dad, me, my aunt, etc.) she stopped within a week.

She also used to purr when she liked something...like a cat. We never said anything and well, she doesnt do it anymore.

Better to have him growl than swear...Like somwone said earlier...it isnt hurting anyone...to me that would be like the equivalant of burping.

Laura - posted on 11/23/2010

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I'd growl back too. When ever my 2 and 4 year olds start throwing a fit and "crying" (cuz I know it's fake) I always cry and scream louder and then they start laughing at me, and fit over.

Jaime - posted on 11/23/2010

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Do NOT 'pop' your child in the mouth...I don't care how light you claim to hit him, it's not legal and it's a serious violation of your son's physical and mental integrity! There are plenty of other methods that can be utilized to help your son learn to be more respectful and mindful of your rules...but hitting him in the mouth is definitely not one of them!

I recommend parenting classes for you and anyone else that is struggling to find a disciplinary method that works, apart from legally spanking your child!

Bree - posted on 11/23/2010

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Heck Sarh, it almost sounds like fun to shock the kid like that...a little growling back...couldn't hurt lol

Sarh - posted on 11/23/2010

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Bree, I probably would have growled back as well if that was my child. haha.

[deleted account]

Pop him in the mouth. Worked on me, my brother, my mom's friend's kid, and some brats on the bus who kept messing with me my senior year of high school. Worked wonders. The bus brats and the friend's kid never bugged me again, and my little brother doesn't talk back to me anymore.

It pops them back to the real world. Just use your fingers, not your palm, and give him a light pop on the lips or the cheek. Obviously not enough to leave a bruise, duh, but you shouldn't have to pop him very hard.

It's no worse than spanking, seriously, and seems to have a much more positive effect from what I've seen.

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