How do i tell my mother to back off from my partner?

Karrie - posted on 04/23/2009 ( 7 moms have responded )

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My mother is very expecting of me. She was hoping i would be successful and have a successfull partner who i can fall back on. I am a very independant person and i have my OWN family now. I may be young but im not nieve. I love my partner and if he chooses to be a full time father while i go out and work then i am happy. Who wouldnt be? I get to go out and be social and come home to dishes done and a clean, happy baby. Even if he doesnt provide for the family he is doing everything he can to be the best dad he could be. Mum doesnt understand that. "The man of the house should work, the woman has and looks after the babies." Well thats not what i want.

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Di - posted on 04/29/2009

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I am sure she would be even less happy if your partner worked a low income job and could not support his family.
It is important for your baby to have a parent home and if it is Daddy not Mummy than great, your mother we get used to it.

Rachel - posted on 04/25/2009

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if the two of you are happy with the arrangement then it shouldn't be anyone else's business...but in the real world, everyone has an opinion about how you should run your life. I did notice in my life that whenever my mom would point out what "he should be doing" if I praised what he was actually doing and all of the positive things about him etc, she eventually began to see what i was talking about and began to appreciate the man that I have chosen to be with and see what a valuable asset to my family he is. Try pointing out how successful he allows you to be in the career path you have chosen, she is old school and you are not, just remember that.

Sarah - posted on 04/23/2009

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I have been criticized by my mother and mother-in-law before. It hurts, but you have to do what is right for your family. I don't have the guts, but maybe you have enough to at least remind her that you are happy and to leave you alone. Good luck with what you decide.

[deleted account]

I think if it works for you, then she should realize that. If he is doing his part, cleaning, cooking, keeping the baby well taken care of and happy, I don't see the problem. If he was sitting at home playing video games and doing nothing and you were coming home to a dirty house and a unhappy baby then I see her point, but that doesn't sound like that's the case at all. Things are different now and as long as the family is functioning and everyone is happy the people should respect that.

Georgie - posted on 04/23/2009

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Old fashion ways of thinking and how the world should work are very very irritating. Everyone does things differently and everything from the way we put them to sleep to the stereotypical views on who should do what in the house has changed alot. Would she rather a father who goes to work who contributes no love or affection to his child or a father who makes his partner and his child as happy as possible. If you, your child, and you partner are all happy and doing well then i think you should completey ignore what your Mum is saying and continue doing what makes your family work! After all, its your life!!!

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