How do I tell my parents?

Holly - posted on 05/04/2013 ( 7 moms have responded )

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I just found out I'm pregnant. The problem is I am almost 26 and unfortunate financial events landed me in my mother and step-father's house. The man I was seeing said he does not want a future with me because of these circumstances and feels trapped because he didn't want this. My parents are already disappointed in me for the things that have happened. I lost my job because of my boyfriend and was unemployed for 6 mo. I finally found a job that doesn't pay much but ended up getting kicked out and moving into an apartment with him. He is also unemployed so I was paying for most things. We no longer were able to pay the rent and lost the apartment to where I am now and he is living in his truck but working a commission job that hasn't paid much at all. So i just found out I'm pregnant and my parents are already disappointed with me how do I tell them?

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Lauren - posted on 05/10/2013

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Like Deanna said, make a plan. I strongly, strongly discourage you to have an abortion--if not for the fact that that baby is alive and part of you then for the fact that it is dangerous and it is a business for those that perform abortions, so there are tons of horror stories I could share with you. Moving on...

If you want help in making your plans and/or telling your parents, find a pregnancy help center near you (not an abortion clinic, but a pregnancy care clinic). They will discuss options with you, can help you find families to adopt if you choose adoption, help find childcare, stable employment and a safe place to live (if you keep the baby), and all services are free. Many pregnancy care centers also offer to be with you when you tell your parents to offer support to both you and your family.

I told my parents twice about unexpected pregnancies, and I was so blessed to have their support and help--even though no one was happy about it. But my two sons are my most precious gifts, and I wouldn't change all the hard work I've had/have to do for the world. Fortunately, my husband stuck around (he is the father of both, and we're married now), but just because your BF doesn't want to be in the baby's life doesn't mean you can't raise it yourself (hopefully with someone who will love him/her like their own someday) or let a family take care of the baby...and if you choose, you can be a part of the baby's life as well through an open adoption.

To sum it up, there is support; there is help; and you have people who care. You'll need to be strong and disciplined, especially if you raise the baby yourself, but it's a gift, and it can change lives for good. Visit a pregnancy care center (check with a local church if you don't know how to find one...don't feel ashamed--People can make others feel bad, but one mean person doesn't represent those who want to help you), and then be honest with your parents about your plans. Be prepared to not have their support, but if you get it, thank them profusely and pay them back through hard work to improve where you're at right now.

Feel free to message me if you want to talk more. I wish you the best, and I've been there. It seems soooo hard and scary right now, but all you can do is move forward. You and that baby are worth it!

Niecybee, you can get pregnant on ANY chemical birth control. They have three ways of preventing pregnancy: 1) Prevent you from ovulating (but you still can on occasion), 2) Thin the lining of your vaginal mucous (graphic, I know) so it makes it harder for sperm to reach an egg, and 3) Thin the walls of your uterus so it's hard for a fertilized egg/conceived baby to attach. If all three fail, you can become pregnant, so I'd take a pregnancy test. Any from a drug store is pretty accurate; it's the same type of test your OB would have you take. Good luck!

Teressa - posted on 05/05/2013

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Telling parents about an unplanned pregnancy is ridiculously hard but if you are making the effort to get back on your feet and be a responsible parents to the baby inside you, hopefully they will be more forgiving.
Although not in every case, lots of relationships are mended when they meet the bundle of joy!

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Joanna - posted on 05/14/2013

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If you know that your parents are going to be judgemental about this just get it out of the way! You will worry yourself sick over something you cannot control -their response. If you just force yourself to tell them it will give them more time to get over it and be as supportive as they can be. I had an unexpected pregnancy and the guy wanted me to abort, telling my parent was like being 16 again and scared. I cried and felt like I was such a disappointment to them but in the end it is what I thought of me that mattered. I married the guy and had another beautiful baby and my two children were the blessings of my life. My marriage has ended due to abuse and control so my advice about your boyfriend is if he wants out let him go, you will be fine and your parents will still love you x

Katherine - posted on 05/14/2013

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I'm 23 and my boyfriend and I currently live in his parents basement. I would just sit them down and explain to them that you realize that you didn't plan this but things happen for a reason. Just make sure that you are the first to tell them. My boyfriend's mother found out from an anonymous phone call while she was at work in a conference call. It not only ruins the surprise of telling them but it ruins the trust. Just be upfront and honest.

Deanna - posted on 05/10/2013

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My advice, make a plan first. What are you going to do. Find options. Keep baby, adoption, abortion. Ask what you are capable of doing and research what it entails. Keep in mind that you need to stick with that choice. Once you have a set plan, talk to them. Ask for advice. If they are willing to help, thank them for the help.

Niecybee - posted on 05/07/2013

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Hey, well for starter my boyfriend is a twin. And im 18. I currently am on the noristerat shot. which last 2 months. I Had not seen my period on the shot for about a month and a half then last week it came on very lightly and no clots came out. recently all my family have been dreaming that i am pregnant with twins including myself, my mom and my sister. is it possible for me to become pregnant on this shot ? or have anyone gotton pregnant on this shot before

Holly - posted on 05/06/2013

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Well the problem is is that my ex boyfriend doesnt want this baby and doesnt want to be forced into a relationship because of it. He says that he doesnt think ill make anything of myself and now ill use this pregnancy as an excuse. My parents dont like him at all and dont want him in my life. I have only been here a week and found out like 6 days after i moved in.

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