How do I tell my son why his dad is not in the picture?

Ashley - posted on 01/14/2013 ( 1 mom has responded )

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I need to know how to explain to my 8 year old son why his father is not in the picture anymore, but I don't know how.
My ex husband's parental rights were terminated due to him being physically abusive, this happened in 2007. My children( I have a 5yr old also) have not seen him since of course. My son was only 4 years old at the time and I knew he would not understand. He did not ask a lot of questions about where his father went. When he was in kindergarten he told his teacher his dad was dead, so I did sit down and tell him his dad was alive and loved him but we could not be with us.
Since then we have not really spoken about his father, my younger child does not even know who he is or anything about him. I have a boyfriend who has been in the picture since 2009 and has been a great dad to my children. But lately my son has been making comments like "you are not my dad", "he's not my real dad". So I think it is time I sit down and explain to him what happened and why his "real" father isn't here. Everyone says not to speak negative about the other parent but I don't want to lie to him.
I just need some advise on how to go about this without destroying my poor son.

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Cleaver - posted on 01/14/2013

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just tell him that he wasnt nice to you tell him the truth but now the whole truth

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