How do u guys deal with strangers touching your child?

Michelle - posted on 10/26/2009 ( 85 moms have responded )

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Everywhere i go someone always tries to touch my baby i hate that i dont know what to say. i dont want to seem rude but i really dont like strange people touching my child. what should i do?









>>i went to a dealership today to pick up a part for my husband.. this greasy old man super sweet but still greasy and sweaty grabbed sofis arm and just put her little hand on his face!! i was speechless i had like no time to react i had no idea what i should have done or said!! thats what lead to this question..

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Bethany - posted on 10/26/2009

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Is ths baby still in a stroller? I work in retail and have a customer that plainley put a obvious sticker on the stroller that said "I may be cute but please only look dont touch."

Rachel - posted on 10/29/2009

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i think alot of you sound way to over protective of your babies which can lead to other problems with their up bringing babies are not used to enough germs nowadays thats why they get so poorly. i personally dont have a problem with people touching my baby.

Autum - posted on 11/02/2009

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when they were young my husband would cover the carseat with a blanket (what they cant see they wont touch) and when they got older like 2. when someone would touch them they would scream bloody murder. " I told them that if they dont know them they shouldnt be touching them.

Candice - posted on 11/01/2009

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i have actually had strangers try and hold my baby. one of the nurses at my husbands therpy place, which i never met practically just reached down and picked my daughter up without asking, she said i have to hold her??? and everywhere i go people are trying to touch her. i just say it is flu season and do not want anyone touching her

[deleted account]

Be RUDE! At the end of the day it is your baby, and if they do have some sort of illness and pass it on to your baby, you will be the one dealing with the consequences. such as staying up all night and worrying till you think your head is going to explode!!! Just tell them you will generally see them coming look all you want but DO NOT TOUCH. Do not give any excuses. My daughter is four and if she does not want to hug/kiss grandma n grandpa or even me or my husband for that matter we do not make her. we do the same for her 1 year old brother. it is their body! but when they are infants it is our duty as parents to make sure they are safe including from strangers hands!

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Kiki - posted on 09/07/2013

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Honestly I feel that no one should touch your child without permission from the parent it should not have to be explained, and hand sanitizer doesn't protect against communicable diseases in fact some sanitizers makes a person more susceptible to diseases, with that being said I am very rude about someone touching my child it should go without saying I don't even want anyone in her face and I live in 100 plus degree weather it's too hot for a blanket all the time

Laura - posted on 11/01/2009

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ha ha, i have the same issue, my fiance took our son out for a walk when he was a few weeks old and he came home and said he was sick of strangers coming up to him and "patting" him, so now he moves away when people reach out and says his not a dog please dont pat him. some people get offended but most are ok with it, stand your ground!

Leona - posted on 11/01/2009

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I had this problem with both of my kids and still do with my 3 year old. I just plainly ask the stranger "when is the last time you washed your hands?" Yeah i get crazy looks but hey they arent the ones up all night with the sick baby I am. I have also told people I dont know you so dont touch my baby. I mean you dont walk up to a stranger and start rubbing them so why do they want to touch our kids. We have also learned to keep a blanket over the baby carrier in stores and not stand too close to people. Good luck and you may find that you have to be rude sometimes. Who cares if it rubs them the wrong way its your kid.

Iysha - posted on 11/01/2009

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wow. I don't know what else you could do but to poitely say that you are trying to limit your bay's exposure to germs and such and tell them to try not to touch. I usually just give my baby to anybody who tries to touch her. I'm like, "you want to hold her?" lol. well, not necessarily greasy sweaty men, except for her daddy... he's a machanic in training. =]

Eartha - posted on 11/01/2009

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Just tell them no...please dont touch my child! You dont know them, they could be spreading something! My child's father and I dont let anyone we dont know touch our son.

Brandy - posted on 10/31/2009

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Quoting Kelly :

I know it stinks to be rude, but with all the disease out there I figure a strangers opinion of me is way less important than my son's health. I also wrote a letter to my local paper just addressing the matter. People need to know your child is not part of a petting zoo!

The other day i was in lowes and an employee grabbed my son by his face to make him look at her, i flew off the handle not only was she touching my sons face but she was being forceful with him only because she wanted attention. My father was holding him, but i was quick to step between my son and the woman informing her that if i ever want her attention i will remember to grab her face with my nasty hands and force her to look at me. Needless to say she got mad and told me to go to hell, to which i happily replied, i am already there with people touching my son!!


 

Camilla - posted on 10/31/2009

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Well as soon as they appear like they are going to touch just pull away a little not in a rude way but whom ever will get the picture and if that's a problem that's when u can snap!! That's your baby and we have to protect them by any means necessary

Katelyn - posted on 10/31/2009

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these days with H1N1 and god knows what floating around i just tell people who's hand start moving toward my baby not to touch her... its not rude people shouldn't be doing it anyways..

If my child is in a stroller i move the stroller rather quickly...

it not mean to tell people to back off ... god only knows what they are carring...

(I was at a H1N1 vaccine 'clinic and people were still trying to touch my 9mth old.... i look at one lady and said "are you serious? we are standing in line to get a vaccine for a bug that can kill children and your going to touch my child?!?" i felt horrible to say that but it just came out i couldn't help myself....

Amanda - posted on 10/31/2009

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lol..girl i didnt "deal with it" I forbid it...I kept my little ones away from people even would cover them when we would go into stores etc...like when they were in their carseat carrier then i would put a blanket over top the whole seat..cause if they cant see them they dont want to touch them...I am a germaphobe anyway so when I had my 2 little ones out and about in public...I kept them away from people...still to this day they are both over the age of one..I keep them away from people as much as possible and when they are in a public setting I limit the contact they have with other especially if i see or hear sick people...You can tbe too cautious now adays...with all the junk going around...so safety first you can always ask ppl politely to please not touch the baby or say please wash your hands first...I did and I still do and I dont regret it! Be safe...Be Healthy!

Crystal - posted on 10/31/2009

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Quoting Bethany:

Is ths baby still in a stroller? I work in retail and have a customer that plainley put a obvious sticker on the stroller that said "I may be cute but please only look dont touch."


 

Rachel - posted on 10/30/2009

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I make it a point to look people in the eye as they come close to my child. I also make it a point to position my son, where possible, where I am between him and the world. If he is in front of me, catching someone's eye as they head for him generally let's them know Momma is on the lookout and they better ask permission.

Maybe it's the look on my face that makes it clear that there is no touching before clearing the person with Momma. Even in church, where people are less inhibited and in closer quarters, if I can catch the person's eye before they try to touch him, they ask first! Of course, it helps that I'm a pretty straight forward individual and not afraid to tell someone no. :P

Jeanee - posted on 10/30/2009

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I dont normally have to say anything. My face says it all. Besides if my kids dont know you they tend to not let you touch them unless i act familiar. But in the case of ppl just reaching out and touching them I think i would have to say something.

Moselle - posted on 10/30/2009

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I don't usually have a problem with it. I'm not a germophobe (thank goodness) so I don't have issues with people wanting to be in contact with my son. He's 16 months and he's been sick once... and that's IT! Letting him be around lots of people has really boosted his immune system. And on another note... why does it matter if people touch your child? Unless your child is scared or they're touching them in a malicious way (like Kelly Moore's situation) then I think those people are just trying to interact with your child the best way they know how. My child brings joy to my life, and I like to spread that joy around.

Jessica - posted on 10/30/2009

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I don't understand the fear of H1N1. It's just like the seasonal flu except the seasonal flu kills more people in 1 year then H1N1 has in the entire breakout. I have also never heard of anyone dying from H1N1 that didn't have serious underlying health problems! My son (11 months old) has just got over it! Several members of family have just got over it, as well as several friends and their family members! Maybe someone can show me different material to read on it cos what I have read doesn't seem as bad as the seasonal flu IMO!

Starla - posted on 10/29/2009

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Well you need to protect your baby and if you need to be rude then be that way. There are so many icky things going around that you cant afford the baby getting sick. People still touch my 18 month old. I tell people not to and they get over it. You will find a way to stop people in a polite way. Hang in there.

Melissa - posted on 10/29/2009

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I know a mom who's son just died of H1N1. I hate people touching my son, I've even had one lady who went so far as to take him right out of my mom's arms even though I said NO! I had to forcefully take him away from her! Just remember that you will never see this person again and that her/his opinion really doesn't matter. I know its hard because we were all raised to be respectful and polite. However, these people aren't being respectful to you by touching your kids without asking. Just try your best to keep a perspective.

Karen - posted on 10/29/2009

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I'm less concerned about the germs that my daughter might pick up (although that is part of my concern), but I also just don't like my daughter's personal space being invaded by anyone. I don't like it when strangers touch me (belly rubbing when pregnant is a case in point), and I assume most kids don't like it much either. They need their parents to protect their personal space for them. So, I just tell people that my daughter doesn't like to be touched by people she doesn't know.

I also don't hand my daughter off to people without her showing a willingness to be held by a less familiar person (this includes everyone except her Dad). I think we need to be respectful of our children's personal boundries and teach them to trust their instincts about who should be touching them and how. So, nope, strangers don't get to touch my daughter.

Crystal - posted on 10/29/2009

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I always try to pull the baby away before they can. Also I would carry wet wipes to wash them off if someone did touch them. I don't know if it kills any germs but I figure it is better than nothing. Try to keep the baby as close to you as posible so you can block the touch and try to politely say, that you'd rather them not, just in case. And give a warm smile. Most people would understand and if they don't too bad for them. Its your baby, you protect your baby how ever you can.

[deleted account]

Quoting Bethany:

Is ths baby still in a stroller? I work in retail and have a customer that plainley put a obvious sticker on the stroller that said "I may be cute but please only look dont touch."


I know just what you mean..U dont want to be rude,Mabey the best thing is the Sticker on the pram..lol..I'm gonna get one.

Nadine - posted on 10/29/2009

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I dont have a problem usually with people touching my daughter especially when it's older people. I was at best buy once and the lady helping us was talking to my 5 month old and letting her crab her fingers I told her just watch out she puts everything in her mouth and she very gently disloged her finger from my daughters grasp and left her alone. Now I try to keep her away from people that are sick but if they arent then I dont care she has to have some sort of an immune system. Also with this H1N1 I have a friend that is a nurse and said it's not as bad as the media is making it out to be its just a bad case of the flu which old people seem to be immune to anyway. I have been in the same house with my daughter and 2 people that have it. I dont allow them into her room, to touch her, any of her stuff or to be to close to her. I wash my hand all the time and also dont allow them to touch any of my stuff or go into my room and dont get to close. They are now just about over it and we have no symptems and are perfectly fine. So dont panic and just keep them and yourself clean and you and your little ones will be fine. Good luck to everyone.

April - posted on 10/29/2009

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stand far enough away from people. if their arm can stretch to reach...you're too close. also, i love the sign idea. i am going to buy one! i also like the idea of keeping the baby's body covered too. another idea i liked is to tell people your child is sick and that you wouldn't want to pass the germs on!

Kristie - posted on 10/29/2009

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I'm rude when it comes to that. I just tell them when I see there going to tough me kid That I don't want them to. You don't know what people get this days.

Desiree - posted on 10/29/2009

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I always asked people to look not touch with a smile and then explained what RSV was and how my son was at high risk for it...They even have Tags you can attach to car seats that say NO TOUCHING!! Remember this is your baby dont worry about hurting someones feelings, your babys health and your feelings are what count thats it!!

Carrie - posted on 10/29/2009

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One time at the grocery store I was carrying my daughter in a front pack carrier. She was facing out and ofcourse got a bunch of "Awww! She so cute" remarks. One person actually came up to us, pinched her cheek and then tried to put their finger in her mouth!!!!!!!!!!!! I was furious! I turned my body so they couldn't and then as calmly as possible said, "I am sorry but I don't know you. I am trying to keep my baby as healthy as possible by avoiding germs. You understand." I tried to smile as best I could and the person appologized, smiled and walked away. My advice would just be to be on the lookout for the reaches and try to block them as best as possible. Although it seems obvious to everyone on here, others aren't doing it to be cruel, rather they are just clueless.

Rebecca - posted on 10/29/2009

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Tell them not to touch...she's got a cold. With everything going around these days they'll back off for sure. I had to tell that to a few people cause i too got frustrated and now i make it a point not to make eye contact. Might seem b@%$*y but i find when you make contact they take it upon themselves to say oh it's an invite to touch.

Tina - posted on 10/29/2009

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I got one of those signs that say Please Wash Your Hands Before Touching Mine..it has kept alot of people at bay. If they go to reach out then they get a small bottle of hand sanitizer handed to them...bath n bodyworks had a huge sale so I picked up waaayy too many, LOL.
I dont like people touching me, so if they touch my son, I will reach out and do the exact same thing to them..same way I took care of the "belly touchers"...amazing how people react when you rub their bellies after they did yours.
Daddy always said whats good for the goose is good for the gander.

Mary - posted on 10/29/2009

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People ALWAYS touch my 4 month old. Sometimes I don't mind, but if were at the grocery store it drives me nuts!! I kindly say please dont touch her bc I have enough germs brought home from school that she has to immune too.

Stephanie - posted on 10/29/2009

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I don't really have a problem with people touching my daughter, but with H1N1 going around right now I usually don't let let people touch her. But its usually always older people that want to touch her, so I just thank them for their complement and say that I am running late for something and walk away.

Misty - posted on 10/29/2009

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As soon as someone goes to touch my children I either turn or get in the way so they are unable and just tell them "sorry but I'm kind of a germaphobe and don't like anyone touching them" works every time. I'm not worried about being rude, only because it's for the well being of my child and my peace of mind!

Kelly - posted on 10/29/2009

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I did not deal with it well at all, I did not like people I did not know touching my children I still dont and they are older, I however had no problems telling people to keep there hands to themselves. I was always nice about it but there is always going to be someone who gets offended by it but I saw it like "do you like people just coming up and touching you?".

Randi - posted on 10/29/2009

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lol, when people touch my son i have an image in my head of a mother lion snarling at another animal who dares to get to close to her young (that how i always feel) i had strangers touch my belly when i was pregnant and it was just as irritating when he was born and strangers would touch him. first remember you should be proud you have a lovely sweet and cute baby that people are drawn to congrats. but remeber that the lion snarls for a reason, you dont know who has some crazy sicknes that could be passed on to your baby you dont know who is a weirdo and who will grab your child right from your arms and run off (it has happened) a part of youhas to remember that your child is the most important thing in the world and what strangers think of you is way down on the list of worries, tell people to not touch your child the mecanic would be easy you can explain that hes filthy ( nothing personal) for some reason babies take peoples understanding of personal space away. you would never walk up to a strager and touch them but people touched my belly all the time and they try and touch my son if you bring it to there attention in a polite manner you will be suprized how many people will not take offence. the best way is to hold your child back from people so they dont have the chance to touch them, usually simply pulling back is enough to put most people off. good luck

Tina - posted on 10/29/2009

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I would tell them please don't touch my baby I don't want him sick and thats that if you dont know them who cares what they think of you

Ella - posted on 10/29/2009

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Personally I let them know I don't want my child touched and say sorry flu season. Or i just say Please don't touch her, you can never be to safe... If anyone has a super problem who cares it's your child you're supposed to take care of them and love them and make sure that they stay healthy.

Caterose1 - posted on 10/29/2009

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Everyone loves babies thats why they gets lots of attention. maybe you could try saying to people that she's not feeling to well so not to get to close to her, it may not be true but its kind of a more polite way of saying dont touch her. I dont like people kissing my son because of germs and he can get a rash on his face so i always wipe him afterwards but you will never keep all the germs away thats for sure.

Sarah - posted on 10/29/2009

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It can be a little frustrating and scary to think whats out there and why are they touching my child. I am a recovering germaphobe. My daughter is 8 and my son is 7 months....Strangers touching is inappropriate but you have to let some germs in. Whilst I'm hanging clothes he manages to get a couple of hands full of grass in his mouth so I just brush him off and move on...God knows what my daughter touches (nose picking and likes to play with bugs and worms) so I keep sanitizer in the house and encourage her to use it. As far as the stranger thing goes there are boundries...no touching face or hands or kissing and if it happens, I wipe them in front of them so they get the hint but I'm not rude about it just smile and keep going. It works. Although the sign idea is funny it sounds stuck up....maybe others dont think they are the nicest baby they've seen????? Hope it helps.

Cheryl - posted on 10/29/2009

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YEAH!! WHY DO PEOPLE THINK THEY HAVE THE RIGHT TO TOUCH YOUR BABY! IT IS SO ANNOYING AND ITS NOT JUST THE GERMS...ITS THE SIMPLE FACT THAT ITS YOUR BABY NOT THERES...AND MY FAVORITE IS A LADY AT MY MOTHER IN LAWS CAFE WAS GOING TO TOUCH MY SON AND I SAID WHEN SHE WENT OVER TO HIM YOU CAN LOOK BUT DONT TOUCH ITS FLU SEASON..DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE LADY DID SHE WENT TO REACH TO TOUCH HIM ANYWAYS! I SAID HEEEYY I SAID DONT TOUCH SHE SAYS WELL I WAS JUST GOING TO TOUCH HIS HANDS...DUH LADY AND WHERE DO YOU THINK HIS HANDS ARE GOING TO GO IN HIS MOUTH. SO I SAY YOU HAVE TO START OUT STERN BECAUSE BEING NICE AT FIRST GETS TOTALY IGNORED!

Miriam - posted on 10/29/2009

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I can totally relate to this. I have had this sort of thing happen too many times. I've found it also to be peoples children that want to touch my baby and do not get hints. One time in Glassons this lil boy was with his grandma and kept trying to lean in and kiss my wee girl on the face and managed to a few times! I did try telling him and his grandma didn't seem to catch on either. Another time these two boys kept coming back, running away from their mother and touching her heaps. It frustrates me heaps and I never seem to be prepared for it as in know what to say but from now on if I come across rude I don't care, it's rude to do it or allow your children to do it esp when you are complete strangers!

[deleted account]

I tell people, ' sorry I don't want my child getting diseases so please don't touch ', although this was on a super bitchy day.. I really like Crystal's 'excuse me sir but you are dirty so please don't touch my kid'. Think I will try that one.

Annie - posted on 10/28/2009

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I give evil looks ---- unless its an older person ---- cause i think its how they were brought up so they really think it is socially acceptable.

Carol - posted on 10/28/2009

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it's your baby, just tell them to not touch. i don't know why people think it's okay to touch strange babies. i myself get pretty offended...they are indirectly touching you, honestly, that's how i feel. nobody touches my baby if i don't say it's okay.

[deleted account]

For me it always depended how old they were. As newborns I just kept a blanket over them. That helped with people not touching them. I feel the same about people touching my babies. Not only are they stranger, but who know what kind of germs they have and could be passing on to your baby. But when the baby is older I really don't mind if its a touch on the hand and thats it. You can always as nice as you can just ask them to look not touch. Your not trying to be mean, and I'm sure they will understand!

Sharron - posted on 10/28/2009

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I didn't have a problem with my boys being touched by people unless they are creepy. My kids were the babies who never got sick and I think it is because I wasn't afraid to let them come in contact with germs. In fact, my doctor told me it would be good for them to come in contact with germs because it would help build their immune system, just so they weren't around anyone who was sick. My best friend and cousin never let people touch their babies and they were always sick. I am a huge fan of hand sanitizer though. Now that my kids are older I make sure they wash their hands often and cough into their sleeves and I wash my toddlers hands too, but I don't freak out about it. I find it flattering that people want to touch my kids and think they are cute. If it is someone dirty I just sanitize them.

Megan - posted on 10/28/2009

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i dont let people get close enogh to my baby to touch them i would go crazy on someone for grabbing my daughter!!

Lisa - posted on 10/28/2009

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I am a germaphobe. My advice is to always be on guard and the first thing that I say to anyone who even looks like they are going to touch either of my girls "I have to see you wash your hands first" as I pull my child away. I don't care if thier feelings are hurt, my girls health is more important. It goes for when family comes to your home, right. Then it goes for people at the parts store. You'll figure out your own little saying but just stay on gaurd when you are standing still waiting for something.

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