How do you explain death to a 4 year old. All of the Michael Jackson coverage has my daughter upset.

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Jacque - posted on 07/24/2009

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oh I am sorry to hear that! It's so hard to try to see things from a childs eyes. I don't know how to get her through the uncertainty of it. But I don't want to lie and say nobody dies. It's a fine line being honest and them being scared!

Sherry - posted on 07/24/2009

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OMG! This is so weird. My daughetr is 4 years old and she has asked me 100 questions about death becuase of this. I talked ot her about heaven etc. and she even asked if Michael Jackson was going to heaven. I asked her if she knew who he was and she said no, she hears him on TV! We have had previous talks about this becuase in September of last year I lost my 2nd child at 5 months pregnant so I think that this is starting to freak her out!

Rebecca - posted on 07/24/2009

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Hmm perhaps you can give her some movies to put on for your daughter since lets face it everytime someone in hollywood dies it's as if the earth stops that way she could have something safe to watch?

Jacque - posted on 07/24/2009

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her grandmother keeps her while her father and I work . She has great intentions but is very old fashioned. She doen't have cable. So the funeral of MJ was on all the chanels that she has (all three)lol She doesn't drive and we got on to her about taking our kids out to the store since she has to cross a busy 5 lane road to get there. So infortunatly they spend a lot of time indoors since their grandmother is in her mid 60's and can't run behind my bad behind 1 year old. His mom not mine so I can't get too upset. If it wasn't for her one of us would have to stay home or we would have to find jobs with opposit schedules. Thanks for the advise.

Rebecca - posted on 07/24/2009

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Hi, I would not suggest using the words going away or everytime you do she will worry, tell her he died not he left or he's gone but he died, I took a course on helping children grieve and by trying to sugar coat things we actually end up confusing them and causing them more angst. Also and I am not trying to be judgemental but this why kids shouldn't watch tv, a 4 year old shouldn't know who michael jackson is let alone that he died

Jacque - posted on 07/24/2009

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Thank you both. It def helps. She wants to know how people are chosen to die. Her words... "Was he a bad man? Did he do something wrong? Was he bad at his job?" So I don't want her to think that anyone can die so I didn't say anything about age or anything tried to tell her from a religious standpoint but now she thinks we are all going to die. She even told her daddy that he can't wear a certain pair of pants because every time he wears them someone dies! Kids are something!!

Kelly - posted on 07/24/2009

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i will have too keep that in mind for if i ever need it (hopefully not) thats a good idea Erica xx

Erica - posted on 07/24/2009

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Kelly pretty much summed up my answer but what I also suggest is maybe having your child watch the movie Charlotte's Web? My mom used that as a way to explain death to us as kids and it seemed to work because in the end they celebrate her life. Hope I've helped :)

Kelly - posted on 07/24/2009

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i suppose explain that they have gone away and wont be coming back and everyone needs to say good bye, it is a hard one and i really wouldnt know how to explain it



hope ive been a bit of a help xx

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