how do you feel about strangers "telling off" your child?

Kerry - posted on 10/18/2009 ( 23 moms have responded )

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I was at the playground today following my 18 month old around, when I looked over and saw another parent saying to my 4 yo in a VERY stern voice "Now you just stand there and be nice" I have no doubt that my son was probably being rude, as do 4 year olds, but it just got my blood boiling. When I'm in that situation i usually try to focus on my child and say something like" Come and play over here" or "just stay away from that child, they not playing nice today"



Am I just being over protective??

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Jamie - posted on 10/18/2009

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No offense but if someone else had to say something to your child and you dont know why then you werent paying attention to your child. So, no I dont think you are being over protective, I think you werent watching your child which is the total oppisite. I mean someone could have walked up and taken your child and you wouldnt have known.



Btw, i have no problem correcting peoples children when thier parents arent watching them. They have to be watched and monitored.

[deleted account]

i agree with lakyia, that something i would have said as well.. but if my sons gotten blatantly pushed down or something like that, and theres not parent gettin up to talk to their kid, i have nicely said we dont push our friends lets be nice.. thats where it stops for me.. i think thats reasonable, i owuldnt mind that being said to my son either.. harmless enough, but obviously if the other childs caretaker yells at my kid i wouldnt like that, thats not their place

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23 Comments

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Holly - posted on 09/05/2012

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I think it depends! I've had to tell off a kid where the little girl hit my son while screaming at him to get out of a ride he was playing in first. The dad was right there with her while she was screaming and was trying to make her make her feel better and ignored her raising her hand at my son again! So if he wasn't going to reprimand her right there, I did. I think most kids at that age won't learn what they did wrong unless they learn it right then and ther since they might forget later and don't know why they're being punished.



So I probably wouldn't think the other mother was overstepping especially when boys can be rough without knowing it. If that other mother didn't say anything, your son would of gotten away with possibly hurting or being mean to another kid and may even think its okay from now on since you weren't able to see what he could have done.

Crysta - posted on 11/06/2011

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I think that person telling your son to stand where he is and be nice it over - stepping the boundaries a bit. Whenever I am confronted with a young child at the playgorund that is not being nice, I either try to keep my son away from them or I ask them to go and find their parents. I would never yell at someone else's child like that.

Dezirae - posted on 11/06/2011

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I would be mad. If I have a problem with another child, I go find their parent. That has only bit me in the butt once when the lady beat her child in front of me and my horrified 2 year old. I then told her off, but YES you have the right to be mad. I would be absolutely livid.

Junell - posted on 10/21/2009

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Everyone has an opinion, but there is a time and place in which you express it. When it does not concern you or your family then I do not think anyone should express their 'opinion' about another's child unless the child is in danger then the child should be approached kindly. I do not feel anyone should verbally reprimand anyone elses' child without first confronting the parent.

Alicia - posted on 10/21/2009

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KERRY...ignore jamie.. she's one of them "PERFECT" moms remember! shes like the stepford wifes of motherhood "rolls eyes" any good mother with more then one child can look away to grab a toddler and miss something, heck you can miss something in your own house, yard ect, its a fact of life, you never said you were not paying attention to your son you turned around for a minute, it happens , your human(unlike jamie)

Kerry - posted on 10/20/2009

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Quoting Jamie:

I think you know what Im suggesting, and no I dont expect them to stay right by you, but I do expect a parent to watch thier child. And if she was only 3 meters away and you didnt know what was going on then no you werent watching her. I actually have 3 children, 7yr old SS, 4yr old and a 3 yr old. That would explain why I am on this forum, a public forum, where you chose to pose a question about a situation. Which I replied to.



Jamie, First of all, if you read my initial post correctly you would know that my 4 year old is a BOY. Yes, this is a public forum, well done. I did not however, ask members for their opinion on my parenting abilities rather on how people felt about other people disciplining their children. If you think it is ok to tell off another strangers child then thats your opinion and i accept that (your the only one by the way) But do not tell me I am a bad mother for taking my children to the playground for some fun.

Tonyisa - posted on 10/20/2009

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I TOTALLY AGREE I DONT LIKE WHEN STRANGERS TELL THINGS TOO MY CHILDREN.THATS NOT THEIR PLACE

Jamie - posted on 10/20/2009

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I think you know what Im suggesting, and no I dont expect them to stay right by you, but I do expect a parent to watch thier child. And if she was only 3 meters away and you didnt know what was going on then no you werent watching her. I actually have 3 children, 7yr old SS, 4yr old and a 3 yr old. That would explain why I am on this forum, a public forum, where you chose to pose a question about a situation. Which I replied to.

Kerry - posted on 10/20/2009

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Are you suggesting I am being a negligent mother Jamie??!! Do you have children? If you do then you would understand that a 4 year old IS NOT GOING TO STAY RIGHT BY MUMMYS SIDE ESPECIALLY AT A PLAYGROUND! and if they did then I would be concerned. Really, I mean can't you find something better to do



Thankyou Jessica for your post - you pretty much hit it on the head. My husband works away so often it is just me. We love going to the park and being an at home and part time single mum it gets us out of the house.

Jamie - posted on 10/19/2009

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Well Jessica then maybe she shouldnt be taking her children to the playground by herself if she is not able to manage both, which she clearly isnt since even at only a mere 3 meters away she was unaware of her childs behavior. If someone else has to talk to your child for whatever reason then thats on you for not paying attention to your own kids.

Jessica - posted on 10/19/2009

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To Jamie Massie I have to say Kerry stated that she was following after her toddler when the 4 yr old was being scolded by a complete stranger!Kerry I am assuming was at the park without her partner/spouse if that is the caseI will say in her deffence that she is ONE parent trying to follow after TWO children which can be at times nearly impossible... Unfourtunatley she can not split herself in two & as we all know if you have more than one child one is running left while the other is going right. As a parent who works one shift with my hubby working another in the evening I have my hands fulltrying to get one to do one thing & the other to do another its nearly impossible & my kids are 8 & 5 the most common saying I use is you are TWO children I am ONE mommy so ONE CHILD AT A TIME PLEASE! All that Said Kerry if my boys weren't endangered or endangering another I would be LIVID if some random stranger took the liberty of disiplining my child! PS I get mad if Grandpa yells at them when I am in the other room!

Kelly - posted on 10/19/2009

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absolutely not. you can not be over protective of your babies. Its our job as mothers to protect them and we choose how are children are disciplined. If a complete strangers think they have the right to speak to someone child like that then they definetly have problems. I would politely request that they save the discipline for their own children. If a parent has an issue then they should address the childs parent, and let the parent react accordingly.

Chelsey - posted on 10/19/2009

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NO!! I probably would of told the lady to go pound sand. I would say it after my kid went to play some more. If my kid is being a brat I have no problem with people I know telling my child to behave but someone I don't know should talk to me not my kid.

Nicole - posted on 10/19/2009

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Im the mother so if there is a problem with my child please let me know, dont correct my child!

Kerry - posted on 10/19/2009

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Quoting Jamie:

No offense but if someone else had to say something to your child and you dont know why then you werent paying attention to your child. So, no I dont think you are being over protective, I think you werent watching your child which is the total oppisite. I mean someone could have walked up and taken your child and you wouldnt have known.

Btw, i have no problem correcting peoples children when thier parents arent watching them. They have to be watched and monitored.



Really??!! I was 3 metres away.

MALIKAH - posted on 10/19/2009

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NO YOUR NOT BEING OVER PROTECTIVE BECAUSE EVERYONE DOES NOT HAVE YOUR CHILD BEST INTEREST AT HEART THEREFORE MY ANSWER TO THIS PROBLEM IS IF MY CHILD IS DOING SOMETHING WRONG PLEASE FEEL FREE TO TELL ME AND I WILL HANDLE HER ACCORDINGLY THATS ALWAYS WORKED FOR MY MOTHER AND I HAVE NO DOUBT THAT IT WILL WORK FOR ME

Lakyia - posted on 10/18/2009

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NO absolutely not you are however being a parent. Im sure that mother would not have liked if the tables were turned because most of the time ppl dont. Now I applaud you on not getting violent with words @ the mother because all the children were there but I would have asked her to tell me what my child was doing and Ill handle it from there. Hope I helped!!

Morgan - posted on 10/18/2009

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I don't think your being over protective, people should mind to there own children, and if here is a problem with another child they should locate the parent. If the child is being violent towards other children then that is the only case I could see it being appropriate for a stranger to reprimand someone else's child...

Liane - posted on 10/18/2009

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that's not being over protective, as long as your child was not endangering himself/herself or another child then there is no reason for a stranger to parent/tell your child what to do. I would of been irate.

Kirsty - posted on 10/18/2009

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I'm a little bit different. For me it depends on the situation and how it was done. If my child became physical with another and I wasn't close enough to stop it, or they were about to run on a road or something then yes I could except some one else telling her off. (I dont let her get in these situations but things happen). But in a situation where I was present then no it should be up to me.

Lizzy - posted on 10/18/2009

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no your not being over protective i would not let a stranger talk to my child like that. I would just say ' you look after your kids an i'll look after mine!'

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