How Do You Get Respect From Older Mothers and Esp. Guys !

Sheri - posted on 07/07/2009 ( 6 moms have responded )

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Being a young mother is hard, your looks change and you can't always do the things you use to do when you didn't have your kids, also being a young mother, sometimes older mothers have different types of parenting, how can I ask nicely for respect from older moms on my parenting and guys on their usual comments and how they can keep them to them selves ?

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Sheri - posted on 07/08/2009

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Thank you all for your help, support and opinions, they really made me think twice about how I should feel and deal with respect. I am thankful on realizing that there is a lot more other mothers who have and is dealing with the same problem. I do understand how some men can be but I guess I expect too much from them. I do also not express my opinion as much as I should. I will try and take all of these recommendations and use them. Again, thanks and I greatly appreciate your support and opinions.

Teresa - posted on 07/08/2009

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Quoting Sheri:




Comments about beauty and what having a child can do to your body and comments about other girls looking better cause they don't have kids. I even heard one comment told to my man about a guy going to the studio so he can actullay find attraction in his wife. It's usually my mans friends who say stuff like that, my mans better than that and keeps his comments to himself but it still hurts hearing it from his friends. I am 20 with a 2 year old, to me that is young but I am so happy I had here now cause I am a new person from what I use to be and accomplish so much more, I try to be confident cause I know that I am a great mother but some  comments hurt and get to me no matter how hard I try to ignore them. I have a different opinion on discipline when it comes to my daughter, my mother-in-law tells me to shut the door when I put her in her room for time out, I can't do that, I let her be in her room with the door open and bring her back when she comes back out or I put the baby gate up but still I feel like I am restraining her. I even have a hard time with her bedtime, I have been told to let her cry herself to sleep but I can't I stay with her until she goes to sleep.





First off men don't think with there brains so let thier words roll off your back because as soon as they see that it no longer affects you they will stop.  I will agree with you that you are young in age but what really counts is your self image age( how you see your self) I think i am still real young to have a 2yr old and i am 28. If you have a man that provides for you and your child and you have the choice of working or staying home then your are better off than i am. I took my time to graduate college, and i am still struggling to find a decent job to support my daughter ( who watched her mom walk across the stage to get a degree). Older moms think that they know more because of physical age and that is not always the case.  I always tell my family members "That i am her mom and what i say goes"( pertaining to my daughter) because they dont always agree with the way that i handle things with her. 



As for the time out  thing i like that you have tried just putting a baby gate up at her door so she can still see you and not be scared that you have left her.  I had a hard time too with letting my daughter cry herself to sleep but in the end it has gotton alot smoother because i got her in a routine before bed so she know that she is going to bed. Like: read a book, bath, brush teeth, clean pullup, Pjs, then off to bed. It helps her calm down before going to sleep.



This is just a suggestion, for you alone knows what is right for your daughter, but give it a try, it does take about a week or two to get her in to the routine but it may help you.

Jessica - posted on 07/08/2009

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Some guys are outright jerks who will never separate themselves from a boy to a man. On the other hand there are some real classy ones, some of whom are parents. I've dealt with older Moms and while I applaud their effort and struggles, I have faced very different ones because no parent or child is the same. There is no such thing as a perfect parent, perfectionist parent perhaps, but it's appalling to be judged by those who have not taken the same steps your feet have. Be proud of who you are and encourage that individuality in your child(ren).

Charlie - posted on 07/07/2009

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do those guys have children themselves if they dont then they wouldnt understand what an amazing thing your body has done it has grown a human being your hubby probably loves you even more now you've been through that together and made the best thing in the world , if they do have kids then they are just complete assholes and don't deserve any respect themselves any guy who's woman has given birth to their child , and turns around and says such dergatory things is a jerk ! !

Sheri - posted on 07/07/2009

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Quoting Sara:

What kind of comments are they making? I can't believe people would make comments to you, do you know them? I'm 24 so I don't know if that's considered young, but when I take my baby out in public (dr's office, store etc) I am confident because I know what's best for my baby. My mother in law gave me a lot of "advice" which I listened to, but if I didn't agree with it I nicely told her how I wanted to do things. You know what's best for your children.


Comments about beauty and what having a child can do to your body and comments about other girls looking better cause they don't have kids. I even heard one comment told to my man about a guy going to the studio so he can actullay find attraction in his wife. It's usually my mans friends who say stuff like that, my mans better than that and keeps his comments to himself but it still hurts hearing it from his friends. I am 20 with a 2 year old, to me that is young but I am so happy I had here now cause I am a new person from what I use to be and accomplish so much more, I try to be confident cause I know that I am a great mother but some  comments hurt and get to me no matter how hard I try to ignore them. I have a different opinion on discipline when it comes to my daughter, my mother-in-law tells me to shut the door when I put her in her room for time out, I can't do that, I let her be in her room with the door open and bring her back when she comes back out or I put the baby gate up but still I feel like I am restraining her. I even have a hard time with her bedtime, I have been told to let her cry herself to sleep but I can't I stay with her until she goes to sleep.

[deleted account]

What kind of comments are they making? I can't believe people would make comments to you, do you know them? I'm 24 so I don't know if that's considered young, but when I take my baby out in public (dr's office, store etc) I am confident because I know what's best for my baby. My mother in law gave me a lot of "advice" which I listened to, but if I didn't agree with it I nicely told her how I wanted to do things. You know what's best for your children.

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