HOW OFTEN SHOULD A MOM HAVE TIME AWAY??

Tasha - posted on 01/21/2010 ( 8 moms have responded )

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I am a 26 year old mom of two little boys (ages 4 and 18 mo). I rarely ever get out with my friends OR with my husband. On the occasion that I do get out, I never go to bars or clubs...mostly dinner or games at friends houses, etc....more laid back environments. I often get criticized from my own mother because she feels that a mother shouldn't get time away - very old school. I'm a stay at home mom, so I feel like I'm never getting a break...I'm sure many of you can relate!

How often do you feel that moms should get out with their friends? Have a date night with hubby?

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Kirsty De - posted on 04/29/2013

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I'm a 19 year old mum with a 1 year old son, I don't ever go out, I think the last time that I actually went out and enjoyed myself was provost 5months ago!! The thing is I live at home with parents and my sister my sons fathers aide of the family have nothing to do with my child so the only people I can rely on to have my son is the people I live with, I would love to be able to go out once a week to be myself rather than a mother all the time I'm also a stay at home mum and I fully understand that it does get rather frustrating when u devote all your time to your children and never to yourself to make your self look nice or have extra sleep, I recieve no physical help from my parents or his dad everything that needs to be done in relation to my son I do day in day out from bout half six in the morning till seven at night!! I feel as though I am going in sane but don't like to ask all the time and no one offers to give me a break, and even if I were to ask my parents to have my son each week they would say that I'm putting myself first n should be with my son its really draining.but don't have no other choice any one else in this situation??

Rachel - posted on 01/24/2010

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I usually get out once/twice a week with only one kid, my son who's 3 months old. It's not as stressful as taking 3 kids out, which I rarely do. My husband and I get out alone about twice a month, we usually watch my inlaws kids (whom they have adopted) while they get out, then they watch ours while we get out.

Kenyetta - posted on 01/22/2010

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Hang out woth your friends at least once a week. Date night at twice a week. Your mother is old school loke you say. My daughter is a month old and my grandmother sometimes watch her for me so I can have a day to myself. On my day to myself I get the house work done, shopping done (the way I want to), a mani and pedi and a good 4 hrs of sleep. My grandmother loves watching her and sometimes she want me to go so I can leave my daughter with her. I do so I can get 8 hrs of sleep.

Tarra - posted on 01/21/2010

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when ever you feel you need to get out & get the chance to, GO! hehe. your mum is from the days when the man was the bread winner. it just doesnt happen these days.
I work one day a week just so i can have some time to myself but i also leave the kids with my partner so he gets his daddy days. i think its important for them to have some time alone with the kids so they can bond as well.

Tasha - posted on 01/21/2010

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Thank you ladies. Your advice is greatly appreciated! I just wanted to make sure that I wasn't the only mom out there that needed time ALONE - and I didn't want it to make me a bad mommy....in reality we all need time for ourselves!

Samantha - posted on 01/21/2010

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I think that depends on what you need to keep your sanity! I think that an important componant to being a good, attentive and patient mother, is making sure you are in a good place mentally. You need to be as happy and self satisfied as possible! Growing up with a mother who was stretched very thin, was overworked and very busy, lacked patience and had a hard time enjoying things kids do, like crafts or looking at the painting I did, I can attest to that from the childs perspective.


One of the things I did very early on was set up a night off once a week, my son visits our mother in law, and leaves me with an hour or so before my husband gets home for totally alone time, and an evening with my husband. Its great, we dont always have a date night, but it gives us some time to be just us, and in the beginning, gave me time to do stuff I couldnt find time for, like shower and blow dry my hair! LOL!
I'm a very independant person, and I like to stay busy, so being a stay at home mom is a trail for me a lot of the time. Once a month I set up a sleepover at my house, my husbands aunt, my husband, his sister (6yo) and my sister (10yo) come, I set them up with diner, movies and popcorn, the kids all play together and I go out with my best freind til the wee hours of the morning.
The interesting thing is, my son is three now, and very verbal, and when I leave or he leaves, he always notes at some point while getting ready, that he's glad mommie's having fun, cause then when we are together tomorrow, I will have the time to paint(or whatever) with him. Because when I have time for myself, it's easier to make time for him and my husband, and give them my undevided attention!
Do whats right for you and your family, no time away may have been right for your mom, doesnt make it right for you!

Ashley - posted on 01/21/2010

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i think moms should atleast get once out of a week that would really help. but yea same things with me i only go to dinner or to a friends never get to go to a club.

Kristen - posted on 01/21/2010

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I honestly think that once a week for a few hours is nice but is not always manageable... I think ideally at least twice a month for lady's night and at least one date night a month... I think that each home will have a difference in what works for them... If your hubby is cool with you having a night with your friends once a week then i don't see any harm in it and let him have his night with the boys too and then choose a time where you need to get a babysitter for the two of you to go out... once or twice a month at least but hey if you got someone that don't mind keeping the kids each week i don't see any harm of having a date night each week... my aunt and uncle have a date night every friday granted their kids are grown and moved out now but they have opposing work schedules so don't always have a lot of time during the week. They have like one of the best relationships that i have seen...

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