How stupid can one man be?!!??!?

Jessica - posted on 07/15/2009 ( 11 moms have responded )

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SO tonight my Hubby and I decided to meet up with somefriends at starbucks when it was time to leave I asked him to strap the baby in the car seat while i finished a conversation him not paying attention to anything, hears what he wants to hear and takes the baby and out him in the car, SO HERE I AM THINKING HE WOULDNT BE THAT STUPID IM SURE HE STRAPPED HIM IN. So we leave, take the highway pass a bar with a drunk driver behind us we switch lanes to get away from him because hes all over the road Michael takes the baby out f the car hands him to me and i IMMED noticed the baby is not strapped in the carseat. He responds with oh I didnt notice hehad a blanket on I didnt see I respond with he has strapcovers you can plainly see them he even went as far as to put the neck support around the front of his neck AND STILL DIDNT F'in notice. I dont get it. We could have killed our son if something would have happend. He keeps tellinf me to stop being mad it was a mistake and it wont happen again he cant take it back so being mad is pointless...Am I wrong for being upset?!?!?!?!? Im so scared he can be so irresponsible!!!! Please tell me what you think!!!! Thanks

11 Comments

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Carrie - posted on 07/17/2009

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i can see that you are really upset, but he made a mistake and everyone makes mistakes, i myself have even done this before, i put my 2 year old son (then) in the back, spoke to someone but then forgot to strap him his chair, i just drove off for about 5 miles, noticed in my mirror that he swayed alot when i went round this sharp bend to go onto a dual carrage way, then immedatetly was in panic because i was on there and could not stop untill i saw a lay by. sometimes mistakes just happen. there's a few things that have happened and i've thought, s**t they could have died! i fell down the stairs with my new baby when he was 5 days old!

Ashley - posted on 07/17/2009

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i did it myself. my son wasnt even a week old. we were at a friends place and he was sitting in his carseat. i figured he was strapped in, didnt even think to check. put him in the car and away we went. once we got home i went to go get him and he was all sideways in his carseat. i felt like the biggest peice of shit ever. my grandmother was driving and she blamed herself (even though she wasnt the one who put him in). i understand you are mad but he probably feels soooo bad for doing it and he's prob emabrassed as well.

Jessica - posted on 07/17/2009

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Well I have to tell you I feel much better knowing that other people have done the same thing. I knew he was gonna do it, it was my gut feeling as opposed to following it I ignored it and now I know I never will again just so I dont fight with Michael. I said my piece and I just couldnt even believe it I was just shocked. and to AMBER I also feel better im not the only one who hates my hubby lol Like he just gets under my skin lol Like I still dont even want to have sex anymore I assume thats normal too but I guess thats a topic for the next blog loll

Sarah - posted on 07/17/2009

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I will be the first to admit, that in a rush with a screaming baby, I forgot to buckle my daughter in. Keep in mind I was 17, still had mushy baby brain and was pretty absent minded the first few months. Its not easy doing it alone though. But I was just as mad at myself as you were with your hubby.

Nicole - posted on 07/17/2009

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I know how you feel, when my little girl was about 2 months old my husband did the same thing. I was so mad I didnt even know what to say to him, but I knew it was an honest mistake and we have to learn from them! We were both new parents at that time so we were both new at everything, now my little girl is almost 4 and we have a little boy who is going to be 2 and he is the best dad in the world!!

Amber - posted on 07/17/2009

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Oh Jessica I feel your pain. I know exactly how you are feeling. I swore I couldn't stand my boyfriend for about the first 2 1/2 3 months of my babies life. Everything he did irritated me. I think the lack of sleep and hormones makes everything seem so much worse. It is also irritating when you do so much and you naturally think of your baby and everything they need and your partner doesn't. I agree with Rebecca in the way to be with him. You do have to be very detailed in telling them what to do for the baby and try to do it in the nicest way possible. I also double check things and set up everything first. And yes he will do worse, but once you get a little more sleep and your hormones even out I think it is easier not to want to kill them. Most men just don't naturally think the way we do when caring for a baby. My boyfriend always complains that I just don't trust him because I either double check or ask again and again if he has done something or I just do it myself. I think the way you feel is completely normal and my son is now 6 months old and I love my boyfriend dearly again, but for many months I felt just the way you did.

Jessica - posted on 07/16/2009

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He knows how to strap him in I ASKED HIM TO that is the issue not an issue of him knowing or not knowing how to do it!!!! The issue is he wasnt strspped in AT ALL!!! I know he didnt do it intentionally but I thonk I have a right to be upset here a little bit. I know the risks of auto accidents but if one had occured it would have been 10 times worse than if he were strapped in this is my argument I know he would never do anything to hurt the baby on purpose but at the time I was really upset and needed to vent...I know this wont be the 1st or the last of major mistakes made but he was irresponsible and i think i had every rght to be scared and upset thankjs for all the opinions girls!

Felicia Neikolle - posted on 07/16/2009

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First of all, did he attend or both of you attend any classes on this? If not, then how do you automatically expect him to know how to do it? I'm sorry ... I'm on his side a bit here. You're yelling and screaming and calling him stupid but your child is ONLY 9 wks old and this isn't something he's accustomed to doing. Cut him some slack. For the record, even with your child safely secured he/she could still be killed in an auto accident. We all make mistakes ... the point is this was just that and not an intentional attempt to rid your lives of the child. Let it go.

Jessica - posted on 07/15/2009

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I tried so hard to stay calm but the more he sat there and looked at me like I was a n ut the more i wanted to show him what a nut can be. Then he started with his little pitty party with "See I told you I would be a bad Dad" like what the hell dont change the subject away from what its about so I will feel bad for you! lol Hes only 9 weeks old and I feel like I invested alot of time and effort into this baby for anything to happen to him lool I always picture the worse case scenario and it happened I KNEW HE WAS GONNA DO IT TOO. I dont know why but I just knew it and I didnt want to offend him b/c he is a good dad and I didnt think he could be that stupid ya know. so as opposed to listening to my gut I ignored it and now I know not to next time. I know things could have been worse but I dont ever want to know they could get this close its scary. Maybe I should go to bed Im just so upset I cant sleep lol Thanks thougb I def feel alot better!!!!

Rebecca - posted on 07/15/2009

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As upset as you are now, trust me, he will do worse things as your child/children grow. He didn't really mean to potentially harm the baby!...but men just aren't built they way we are. Remember, he didn't GET to carry the baby and grow so attached for 9 months! You get to be the lucky one with the most attachment, but also the most responsibilty. The only way you can cope with him not being as good as you, I have found, is to lay out what you expect from him, how you want to raise this child, and just keep reminding him. And I have also found, to not talk to my husband as if he is a child...even though that is how you want to talk to him! Remember you love him, and that the two of you are in this...you shouldn't have to hold his hand too! :) Talk to him calmly about why you were so mad. And if he gets offensive again just let him know you just feel scared and alone in this and just need his help. He'll come around. Try to stay positive. The next couple of years will depend on it!

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