how to deal with an issue at my sons school

Kayla - posted on 07/06/2009 ( 18 moms have responded )

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My sons summer school teacher called me today to inform me that he had kissed a little girl on the playground. According to my 5 year old she said that she would "marry him" while playing a game and that is why he kissed her. I agreed with the teacher that he needs to be "punished" by siting out from play tomorrow. However, shouldn't the little girl have to sit out too? After all they were both playing the game. Am I wrong?

18 Comments

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Jessica - posted on 07/08/2009

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I agree with Amelia, punishment is unwarranted at this age for this type of behavior. A lot of teachers these days (in my experience) are more prone to punishing children for affection, including hugging their friends over meriting solutions to bigger problems such as bullying.

Kayla - posted on 07/07/2009

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Well I have now talked to my sons teacher, principal and my son. I feel as though this situation is resolved at this point. He understands what is and isn't acceptable of him and I don't believe that this is going to be an ongoing issue. I appericate all the feedback that I have received from each and every one of you and I now know who to turn to for great opinions and wonderful advise. Once again, Thanks to all--Kayla

Christina - posted on 07/07/2009

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You are so right, you should have been notified so you could have had a chance to discuss it with your son.

Kayla - posted on 07/07/2009

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I see your point Christina. I would have liked for that very thing to happen with my son. As I was told by his teacher today, this is not the first time that these two have been seen playing the very same game and that is why they were "punished" the way they were. Which brought the question from me "why wasn't i informed of this the first time then?" The response I got was that they had a talk and warning the first time and thought that would handle the situation. I guess if that is what happend then the second time does deserve "punishement" I just think I should have been notified to start with.

Christina - posted on 07/07/2009

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Wow, 5 year olds...playing....a kiss...an action deserving of a punishment?!! Whatever happened to the teachers sitting children down and explaining what is acceptable behavior? How you can and can't play at school. Whatever happened to warnings? I could see if he was chasing her and forced a kiss on her then I could understand why her parents might be upset. Sounds like innocent childsplay to me.How do we raise our children with hugs and kisses, put them in school and then tell them, oh by the way, your not allowed to hug and kiss anymore, just to be safe don't touch anyone, heck don't even make eye contact! If there is an issue in the class then I would expect the teacher to go over the rules with the whole class so there is no misunderstanding with any of the children, then to give a warning and then a disciplinary action to anyone involved.

Kayla - posted on 07/07/2009

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thanks for all the comments from everyone. Your opions really helped me see the real situation at hand. I guess as parents we all over react sometimes. Protcting our children is our main priority. Amelia i believe you are right, it's hard to resist my sons blue eyes and dimples! Good luck with your son also, he sure is handsome.

Charlie - posted on 07/06/2009

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i don't know why they are being " punished " ? they should be spoken to about why it is not appropriate , but they haven't really done anything wrong , i think that teacher is completely overreacting and making a bigger deal of this situation than it actually is .

Amelia - posted on 07/06/2009

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You just have a little Casanova on your hands. I think its cute. I have a feeling when mine gets older I'll have a similar problem.

Kayla - posted on 07/06/2009

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thank you for your comment amelia. After looking on the internet for information regarding children and inapproperate behavior. I now realize that you are right. I see that it is a totally normal thing and it's apprently even normal for children of his age to explore as far as the "i'll show you mine if you show me yours" stage. Even though I would not condone that behavior AT ALL!!! I see now that it's not that big of a deal. I was just completely taken by the way the teacher reacted to the situation. As well as the other parents reaction to the situation.

Amelia - posted on 07/06/2009

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I disagree. No punishment is warranted here. They are 5. If they were older I would understand. He didn't hurt her or mean any harm to her. He needs to be told he shouldn't kiss people on the playground and leave it at that. This is a case of something small getting blown way out of proportion.

Kayla - posted on 07/06/2009

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The exact words of his teacher were "Jaden kissed a little girl on the playground today" when I asked if he just went up and kissed her or if they were found kissing she didn't seem to have the answer. She said she would check with the teacher that witnessed it. My son is the one who told me that they were playing a game. I do agree though. If she wasn't playing the "game" then she shouldn't be punished. Everyone deserves to have their privacy protected especially at school. I guess I just wish I had all the answers. Im just not sure my son could come up with a "story" like that.

Michelle - posted on 07/06/2009

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it depends if she was involved in the kiss or if they were playing and he kissed her...

Kayla - posted on 07/06/2009

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As I understand it was the reaction of the girls parents not the teacher. But I agree with you also, it's not that big of a deal. I talked with him this evening about why it's not ok to play that way with other kids. I think he understands but i don't want him to think that it isn't ok to use his imagination either.

Valerie - posted on 07/06/2009

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and i also feel like theres no big harm in what they did ur right its 2 5yr olds playing "pretend" theres no harm in it theres also no reason to make a big deal about it n im shocked that the teacher reacted that way

Valerie - posted on 07/06/2009

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i understand what ur saying but first off there should be no reason why the next day ur son should be sitting out from play that wouldnt be fair he doesnt really understand the teacher should of spoken to the both of them about why they shouldnt be kissing n then just call u n let u know so that at night when he got home from school so that u could sit n talk to u your also right if he is to sit out so should the girl but to do it the next day is wrong there no need to "punish" them for kissing especially the next day u should explain that to the teacher im a teacher at a day care n i would never do that

Kayla - posted on 07/06/2009

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Thank you Ashley. I just want to know that I am not being unreasonable in wanting the little girl to be "punished" also. According to the teacher the little girls parents were very upset by the situation. I feel that the issue needs to be adressed because it's not ok for a 5 year old to be playing a game like that but i also believe that at this point it's just that, "childs play."

Ashley - posted on 07/06/2009

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I think you're completely right. It took both of them standing there for the kiss to happen so both of them should be punished accordingly. I think you should speak to the teacher about your concerns and if she plans on sitting your son out then this little girl should as well. Just me but I would be a little upset if my son was singled out when they were both involved.

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