how to explain death of a close family member?

Melissa - posted on 05/26/2009 ( 1 mom has responded )

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I have four kids. the oldest is almost 9 and the youngest is 4 months. THey know that my mom has been battleing leukemia. and they know she is sick. Well. She went in to the hospital 5 weeks ago for blood, and never got out so far. and it doesnt look like she is going to be getting out. she has gotten numerous infections and pnemonia. and her body if filling with fluid and she is on a ventilator. the doctors have all but told us that they dont see her being around much longer. I am not sure how to explain that she is dying. I have done my best but i am still worried. I know that when she does pass that I am going to be a train wreck...and i am not sure how i am going to be able to handle them breaking down. I need advice on what to say to them, and if i should take them to the funeral or not? I just need advice here. So if anyone has been thru this please give me advice....

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Amanda - posted on 05/26/2009

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I have never lost a parent, but I've lost a grandparent and a brother-in-law since I became a parent. I have a seven year old and an eleven month old. My older son was young when we lost both of them. I told him very simple things like, they were no longer going to be with us and they would not ever be coming back. I also explained that people would be sad because the person would be missed. I left it somewhat open and asked my son if he had any questions. He asked things like, Where are they going? What's going to happen to them? I answered his questions and reasured him that sadness will cease. He went to both of the funerals, and I let him lead the situation. In your case, since it's your mother, I would see if a trusted friend could be with you to help with the kids for a couple of days.

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