HOW TO GET A 3 YEAR OLD TO LISTEN WITHOUT HAVING TO RAISE MY VOICE

Jessica - posted on 09/29/2009 ( 5 moms have responded )

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I DONT LIKE YELLING AT HER.. I DONT WANNA HAVE TO SCARE HER BY TELLING HER I WILL HIT HER

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Fiona - posted on 10/01/2009

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Hmmmm some interesting advice. I am a mother of 5 and expecting number 6.

Alot of trouble with 3 year olds is communication and understanding. We don't understand them and they don't understand us. Behaviour problems around this age are also related to this. Getting down to their level and looking at them touching them to seek and guide their attention on you. I do agree yelling is not a good option, but we do get frustrated and yell, and feel bad after. There is nothing wrong with a firm voice, there is a difference. I warn my children if they are not listening that I am going to get angry or cross with them and I draw attention to the change in my voice and what this means. They are all still learning and there is so much going on in their lives, it may not seem like it to us and it is not important to us but it is to them. They are sponges and they absorb EVERYTHING that we teach and do around them. Time out can be a good strategy but work on the principle that they have a very short attention span, I find at home and in day care experience, 1 min per year of their age. I also find having a chair in a place and that is your time out spot, not in a bedroom etc as this will cause negative toward that room. Positive reinforcement is also the best you can do for a child, do not seek to much on the negative but when they are doing good, even the little things praise them. As for "training" I am sorry if I offend but that is a horrible word to talk about a child with, are you teaching them to go to the toilet?? They are little people in our big world and every child has their own personalities that grow and develop differently. I also feel that at times we expect to much of children at certain ages, just because someone else's child could do something by certain age does not mean that your child can and will do this, they all develop differently and at individual ages.

Being persistant and consistant are very important at this age.

Good luck and keep your chin up, it does get better.

Jaimee - posted on 09/29/2009

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i have this trouble with my 14mth old son, i spoke to my health nurse about this and she said if its a cuircumstance where they are doing naughty things like hitting, throwing things etc.... to tell them NO firmly but calmly if they dont listen you sit them in a chair explain why youve put them there and tell them to stay there, if they get back up and behave that is fine but if they dont behave you then put them in there cot or room explain again why youve put them there and leave them for 5min then bring them out. you keep doing it every time even if it seems like they are always in there room they do eventually get it! but you have to be persistant. my little man is getting it slowly! if its getting her to do somthing i would take the ladys advice about taking her by her hand etc!!! good luck stay strong!

Janet - posted on 09/29/2009

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I'm over 30 but I have an idea. =) It takes A LOT of training and diligence on your part. Don't give in. When you tell her to do something and she doesn't, stop what you're doing, take her by the hand and lead her to do what you asked her to do - for practice. Then take her back to where she was when you first asked her. And ask her to do it again. If she refuses then do it again. Until she finally goes on her own. When she does do it praise her! Lot's of hugs and kisses and words of encouragement. Valerie responds very well to praise!! She lights up!! Don't give her a thing (toy, candy, etc.) as a reward cause she'll expect it every time. Train her that the reward is the satisfaction of pleasing you and ultimately being pleased with herself for her accomplishment. Don't raise your voice while training or you will train her to respond to yelling. Purposely lower your voice. =) I know it's not easy. I have 3 and have only successfully trained one. But I'm still working on the others. It's never too late. =)

Brandi - posted on 09/29/2009

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you should try taking something away from her that she likes... with jordan if she doesn't listen she doesn't get to use the computer or i'll take one of her horses away.

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