How to get my 17 month old off the pacifier

Tanya - posted on 07/05/2009 ( 86 moms have responded )

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Me and my boyfriend have tried numerous times to get our 17 month old daughter off of her pacifier. We have tried a couple different strategies, but they don't seem to work. She will just cry and scream for hour's straight, until she get's it. When we give it to her, she is suddenly quiet, and then sometimes she will go to sleep, because she has cried forever. We want the pacifier gone asap, can anybody please help!!!

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Christine - posted on 07/07/2009

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Quoting Jamie:



Quoting Jaime:

depends on the child i guess my daughter would never sleep with out hers lol






Im pretty sure she would. I actually know she would. You are just to afraid to take it away.





Tanya, Like so many other mother have mentioned cold turkey is the best for most kids.  The crying is hard but stick to your guns, life is better sans paifier. Consistancy is key.



Jamie, why are you so rude with your responses? Even if you make a good point your tone is so curt it turns a disscussion into an arugment.



Back off and say your piece with class and respect and you will help fellow mothers and not create this negative defensive cycle.



You are a bully, back off and treat people with kindness and respect and you will get the same return.

Mindy - posted on 07/09/2009

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Honestly, at 14 months I just took them from my daughter and threw them away. I had tried before and like you said she would cry for hours so I would give in and just give it back to her. That is why I threw them away. If they are not there you cannot give it back. I took it at breakfast and that day was pure hell. But, the next day was a lot easier and by the third day everything was normal. You have to remember that at this age the paci is there more for the parent then for the child. Just throw them away.

Jennifer - posted on 07/09/2009

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For both my kids I took it away during the day and they got it for naps and at night. Then after a week of that, I took it away during nap time, but they got it at night. A week later, I took it away completely. They were both very attached to their binky, but neither one of them fussed about it being taken away in the end!!

[deleted account]

well...i told my twin girls that they had to send their "pappys" to africa with the easter bunny...it worked...silly i know...but it worked!!!

Amy - posted on 07/10/2009

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My Son is only 9 months old, and I have him down to just bed time already with a "binky". He doesn't mind it at all. It was very easy to transition also, I just stopped giving it to him. Of course he cried for it some times. But that's Normal!! Don't give in just because your daughter is crying, this will pass! Just stick it out, and you'll see. It will work! I know it's hard, but you can do it.

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Brandie - posted on 07/10/2009

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Well I took my daughters when she turned a year old. i took it and the bottle. If u try to take it from her u can't give in even if she cries try to get her to take a cup or something else like a favorite toy or blankie. It's hard but u can do it!!

Andrea - posted on 07/10/2009

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When we took Liv's away we did the cutting off the tip, it just pissed her off more. Then I got fed up and just took it away. At 17 your dd is so use to having it. After the cutting the tip didn't work we just straight up took it away. Alivia cried and screamed but it only too a couple days and she was over it.

Just take it. Throw them away so you can't give it back to her. Or if you know someone who is having a baby or already has a little baby make it like a game in a sense and tell her that shes got to give them to the baby so they can use them! Good luck!

Danielle - posted on 07/10/2009

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I would throw it away and say it is lost. Don't buy another one. She will stop screaming sooner or later. Leave the room if you have to. Just don't give in. She will forget soon enough. The longer you wait the worst it will get.

Jules - posted on 07/09/2009

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You have to remove it gradualy, Start by taking it off her at breakfast, And if she asks for it tell her that it's for bed time, And she can only have it when she goes to bed. She will carry on a bit but it's the only way. If she is teething then wait untill those set of teeth are through first and then try it. It does take a while. Most children wont give it up untill they have got their last set of teeth before their molers. Once she is used to not having it during the day it will be a lot easier to get rid of it at night. You just keep telling her that she is a big girl now and she has to give her dummy to a baby that needs it. She is going to cry her self to sleep for the first few nights but eventualy she will forget about it. Girls are alot easier then boys. My oldest son was 2 n 1/2 before he gave up the dummy. Hope this helps.

Ashley - posted on 07/09/2009

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I have three children, two had a paci. When I decided to take them away at about 15-16 months, I took them away cold turkey. It was a little rough for about 3 days, but when they realized they weren't getting them anymore, they stopped asking for them!

Rachel - posted on 07/09/2009

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why push it shes still a baby i let my son have his till he was 3 the pacifier is providing comfort to her why take it away it is not hurting her. i would leave it in her bed i would not allow her to walk around with it . if you still decide to get rid of it let her throw them all away then take the trash out that way she knows its gone. She will cry for about 2 nights but after that its done and you cant go back on it

Alysia - posted on 07/09/2009

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My daughter is 19 months and she still uses the pacifier. I'm going to start weaning her around 2, but I read on webmd (which has great parenting tips, etc) that if you cut off the end, she'll get no sucking satisfaction from it, so she'll just get rid of it herself. If that doesn't work, every week cut off some more. Pretty soon there will be nothing left to suck!

Jennifer - posted on 07/09/2009

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i took my 19 month old off the papa and she did pretty good for about two weeks until my brother and sister-in-law took her out of town with them and she found it at their house before they left. every since then she has been hooked on it again and it's even worse now..i tried to take it from her when we were in chicago but my mom just kept giving it back to her...now i dont know what to do...she just wont let it go

Jamie - posted on 07/09/2009

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My question is how safe is cutting the tip? Cant the child then chew on it and possible get pieces off and choke? Seems kind of dangerous to me.

Sara - posted on 07/09/2009

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That last suggestion is a good one, she won't want it b/c it doesn't work! My daughter is 17 mos as well and we are having the same problem. Yet my son never really took one so this is new for me. Just remember though, she KEEPS screaming b/c she KNOWS you will give in. Show her it doesn't bother you anymore, that you're stronger and you are boss.

Alyssa - posted on 07/09/2009

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Just take it,they will throw a fit but eventually forget about it.My daughter was three when we did it. lol sounds bad but just getting rid of it is the best way

Jackie - posted on 07/09/2009

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my son has never had a paci but i work at a day care and i break 2 year olds off theirs all the time the best thing to do is either cut the tip off and if she does go to daycare then dont take it with her bc the ppl their can handle her crying for it more than you can and she will stop wanting it when she realizes she cant have it

Marissa - posted on 07/09/2009

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I cut the tip off of my kids and showed them it was broken and had them throw it away. Refuse to buy another one deal with the whining for a few days they will get over it.

Brandie - posted on 07/09/2009

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Throw it away! I know is sounds harsh, but my oldest son would not get rid of it. He was nearly 4 when I finally said that was enough! I took it when he put it down and threw them away. A few hours of crying and it was over and we have never looked back! Just don't do it during other major changes i.e. moving, surgery, or shots! thats why it took us so long. He had a broken arm, then it was the ear tubes, then the adenoids and tonsils. Pick a weekend when your staying home and try it!
At 17 months old Im not sure if she will under stand but, you could try this instead... explain to her that there are other babies out there that don't have paci's that need then more than her, and have her put it in a balloon and let the balloon go outside... the paci with float away to the baby who needs it the most. This didn't work for my son but it might for a girl they are more sensitive to this sort of things. Good luck!

Michelle - posted on 07/09/2009

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Quoting Jaime:

to be honest hun my opinion she bit young my daughter is 16 months and i wouldnot dream of making her give her up children will give them up when they ready and old enought to understand why you wnat to take it of them at 17 months she will not understand


because she doesn't want her child to have it at 2 and up... honestly it looks li ke a lazy parent after about 12-18 months with kids walking around with pacis... what are you going to do if your daughter is like a kid that was in my son's preschool class 4 and half and still sucking on a dang paci

Valarie - posted on 07/09/2009

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Quoting Shannon:

not all but if they are on it for too long it is not good for the teeth. ask any doctor. same goes for thumb sucking



You are SO right!! The pacifier can cause their teeth to arch.. Where they do not touch when their mouth is closed, also cavities in between their front teeth, buck teeth..  

Valarie - posted on 07/09/2009

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My daughter was one of those babies, who ALWAYS had her pacifier in her mouth.. She was two and we took her to disney world and she even screamed at the fairy godmother for taking it out of her mouth for a picture!! The one thing that worked was when she got a small rash around her mouth {from the pacifier} we convinced her that her lip was falling off and she immediately threw them in the trash.. I know that it sounds horrible to say the least, but it worked and we were at our witts end. We had tried tieing one to a balloon and sent it to the "angel babies", leaving it for santa to give to the baby reindeer, mailing it to the baby that was crying on tv, cutting the tip off, the doctor had even sugested drilling a hole through the button "she took a mam" so that the nipple would collapse.. None worked, only the thought that her lip may fall off worked.. Mabe one of them will work for you. Good luck!

Valarie

Tharra - posted on 07/09/2009

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if she only uses it when she sleeps just let her go she will grow out of it, otherwise try giving her a teddy or blanket insted of her pacifier

Shannon - posted on 07/08/2009

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not all but if they are on it for too long it is not good for the teeth. ask any doctor. same goes for thumb sucking

Kylie - posted on 07/08/2009

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What is this braces business. Are you saying children who use a pacifier end up getting braces?

Shannon - posted on 07/08/2009

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just take it away and let her cry. she will get the idea after a few days. a few days of crying won't hurt her and it's alot better to deal with it now then when she's older and needs braces cause those will make her cry too!!!

Alyssa - posted on 07/08/2009

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Quoting Arwen:

Cut off the tip. She won't get any sucking satisfaction from it. ;)


I definitely think this is the easiest way to wean from the pacifier. If you gradually cut the rubber off in sections, eventually she'll have nothing left to put in her mouth and she'll throw it away herself.


 

Candice - posted on 07/08/2009

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Depending on how well you child undestands what your saying this might help. At 20 mos I decided that my son did not need his binky. I sat him down one day and told him about the "Paci Fairy". I explained to him that he was a big boy and that there were lots of little babies who needed Binkys. I asked him if it would be ok to put all of his binky's in a special envalope for the "paci fairy" to pick up. And in return he would get a special surprise in the mailbox. We put a little toy truck in the mailbox that said to Wade for the paci fairy. He was delighted to see a new toy for such a big boy thing to do. He was pretty easy and every once in a while would ask about his binky and whimper a little. The biggest problem is us. We give in to easy. The best thing to do is to remove all of them from the house for good so that there is no turning back. That was 1 of many attempts w/ my son that actually worked. Good luck!

Kelly - posted on 07/08/2009

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I was going to say the same thing about cutting the tips off the pacifiers, my friend did that with her daughter and it worked great, not really any screaming, she got the pacifier but found out she did not like them any because they were cut, so she just stopped lookin for them

Jodie - posted on 07/08/2009

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I'll say the same as a lot of other moms on here... cut the tips off the pacifiers, eventually she'll stop using them. It worked with my son who was addicted to them lol we cut the tips off them , a little more each week and he just stopped using them becuase they werent fun to suck on anymore.. now he doesnt even mention the word binky..

Glendeen - posted on 07/08/2009

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First of all I just want to say do what you feel is best for you and your daughter ... you are her mother and you know best!!! No one else!!!! Obviously you asked this question b/c you wanted some tips and help .. not to be judged .. everyones parenting styles are different so I think that the attacks are completely unnessessary .. some ppl need to say what they think and end it at that!!!

My daughter just turned 15 months old today and is very attatched to her soother aswell ... she is also teething very badly so I dont want to just take it from her, clearly she is not ready yet, so we only give it to her at nap and bedtimes now and sometimes on long car rides ... soon we will take it away completely, when WE think that she is ready!! As of right now it is a stress reliever and a soothing technique that she enjoy and makes her feel good. Although .. she is getting older and I would like to get her off it soon too : ) lol .. Good luck!!!

Michelle - posted on 07/08/2009

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I bet that's hard on you and your boyfriend but the only way is to just take it away she cries bcause she knows that your gonna give it back to her. I know as mothers its hard to do that but its only for the best.

Mary - posted on 07/08/2009

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Quoting Faith:

make sure you have alot of time away from your man when you do this, because a screaming child causes tension w/couples which creates more stress. simply take the pacifier away. every single one. and deal w/the crying. it shldn't last for more than 3 days. Not only will this rid her of her habit, but it will instill she can't have her way by throwing crying fits every time. u can do it mommy.


That right there was excellent advice.

Mary - posted on 07/08/2009

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Quoting Christina:



Quoting Jamie:

Yes lets just wait and wait and wait, cause the child is running things. Again its not that hard, just throw it away. pacifers are there to help soothe, at age 1 a child should be able to self soothe, thus not needing a pacifier. I had this argument with my brother today his daughter is almost 18 months, his excuse was it keeps her quiet. how lazy and sad that instead of dealing iwth your child you jsut shove something in their mouth. Get over it, Have you ever heard of a child dying from crying. Have you ever heard of a child dying because thier paci was taken away. Nope, so you quit being the baby and throw it away. I hate to be so harsh but this is the oldest question asked on here, right along with how do I get my child to stop sleeping in me bed. Start being the parent, you arent thier friend.






What is your problem. People are just trying to be helpful. If you don't like the way some of us take care of our children keep it to yourself. It's really none of your business. We did not ask for your opinion.





You kind of did ask her for her opinion by starting this forum. I think she makes a good point. But I understand it's hard to deal with the crying sometimes. Hopefully you have a very supportive boyfriend who will stand strong with you through trying to take the dummy away.

Aqila - posted on 07/08/2009

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one night I didn't give my son his pacifier, he cried but I dealt with it b/c I wanted the pacifier gone...he was 15 months old...he cried for a couple of days but was fine after that!

Lyndsay - posted on 07/08/2009

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Just take it away. She may cry but be strong! Eventually she will just forget about it and move on.

Lisa - posted on 07/08/2009

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I told my son that the mammy birdy needed it for her babies nd if he left it out side she wud leave him a present!!! he woke up next mornen went straight out to get the present and never asked for the dummy again and he loved it!! it works with santa or anything else ur child is interested in!!

Amanda - posted on 07/08/2009

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with my daughter i started only giving it to her in the car rides and when she went to bed at nite or for a nap.... then i took away having it in the car and then took it away completely this way she already didnt need it as much........ i dealt with the crying, but after a week she was all set!!

Sara - posted on 07/08/2009

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try and hold out a little longer. She will fall asleep like you said from crying. I know it is hard to just sit and listen to though. Someone once told me to cut the end so it does not have the "sucking" affect anymore. She will no longer want it since it does not have that sucking feature. I have 2 girls and we just took the pacifier from them at 14months. They did cry for a little bit the first 2 or 3 nights, but after that they were just fine. If you wait to long it will effect their speech. BAD!

Nicole - posted on 07/08/2009

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My oldest was about the same age when we broke her of her binky. Its hard, but we told her that we couldnt find it and pretended to look for it. I threw them all away before so i wouldnt be temped to give in and i know it hard, especially when it comes to bedtime. You just have to stick with it and try to comfort them in other ways before bed. I used to snuggle up with her till she fell asleep until she got used to not having it anymore. It took about a week until she totally forgot about it. That week was very hard, but so worth it! There will be crying and lots of it, but you just have to stick w/ it. My niece is now 5 and still takes one and im very glad that i broke my daughter of it when i did.To me, a child as old as my niece w/ a binky just looks stupid. So, my advice is to throw them away so you wont be tempted into give in and stick with it no matter what. Good luck :)

Stephanie - posted on 07/07/2009

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i had my daughter throw her binkie away to show her it was gone for good. the first 2 nights were hard. but you as the parent have to have the will pwer and stick to your guns and not give in.

Sara - posted on 07/07/2009

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Go cold turkey. Now, I don't know if that works universally, but by golly, my daughter was attached to hers. We finally had to throw it away and deal with her crying and fits. It took about a week for her to stop wanting it

Monique - posted on 07/07/2009

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well I guess ive been lucky cause neither of my children took to the pacifier but we ran into the same problems with bottles. What i found worked and might work for pacifiers also get sippie cups with the hard top/ non-spill ones. That you can put water in that they can carry around. After awhile of that they get sick of keeping track of the cup. Got mine down to just using them at nap time or for their drinks at meal time now. But i do agree that some times you just got to put up with the crying. I know when i threw the bottles away their were some nights i wanted to go out and buy some new ones. lol But you got to find something to replace it with. Like they never before with the bottle or pacifer got to go to sleep watching a movie in their room now they can do that after story time so. It will be rough but i think about a week she'll forget all about it.

Louise - posted on 07/07/2009

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guess ur either a perfect parent or ur kid is smart cos my daughter is nearly 2 and we have tried her in underpants and it dont make any difference no matter how much we persist and the same goes for my dummy, im not taking it off her to have sleepless nites while im pregnant id rather she was able to understand that she didnt need it anymore

Tara - posted on 07/07/2009

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Adyn, my son "lost" his at Target. We were getting out of the car and I gave him the red one instead of the blue one that he preferred and he threw it across the parking lot. He asked me to go get it when he realized what he had done, but I refused and after that he never asked for it again. He did however tell people that he threw it and I wouldn't go get it back for him. He was two at the time.

Amanda - posted on 07/07/2009

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You can tell her a new baby needs hers because it is for babies and get her a little something for giving it away!

Kathy Moira - posted on 07/07/2009

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LET HER CRY SHE WILL GET OVER IT, KINDA LIKE WHEN YOU GIVE UP A SMOKE. THE CRAVINGS GO AWAY EVENTUALLY :)

Danielle - posted on 07/07/2009

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Quoting Nichole:

The pacificer fairy is a good one ..telling her that the fairy needs the pacifiers for little babies and then go around the house with a gift bag picking them up and explaining that the pacifier fairy would leave a "big girl" present if you leave the bag of paci's out! This worked for my daughter very well saying that the babies needed them and the pacifier fairy would come and bring them to them!


aww thats cute and creative

Nichole - posted on 07/07/2009

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The pacificer fairy is a good one ..telling her that the fairy needs the pacifiers for little babies and then go around the house with a gift bag picking them up and explaining that the pacifier fairy would leave a "big girl" present if you leave the bag of paci's out! This worked for my daughter very well saying that the babies needed them and the pacifier fairy would come and bring them to them!

Amy - posted on 07/07/2009

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We got our kids off pacies all at one time. My son was 11 months old and my daughter was 23 months old. It was chrismas so, we used that. We told them that the baby reindeer needed them and santa would pick them up with ruldolph. So, we let them get up all their pacies and place them under the tree christmas eve. And of course we kept them just incase but they never even asked for them after that.

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