How to get my husband to stop underminding me in front of my stepson?

Shavone - posted on 01/02/2013 ( 2 moms have responded )

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MY stepson is 6 years old and he's been with me since he was 4 1/2 but it seems as if me and hm are finally on the same page but his father doesn't agree. If i set rules for my stepson like no sweets after 1pm and you must eat all of your food before anything to drink etc. His father still gives him cookies etc which sometimes make him sick and we had a major fight because he thought me wanting him to eat his salad before giving him his garlic bread and juice stupid. Im ready to throw in the towel because its a constant struggle on what i can and cannot do with him. What should i do? Am i over reacting? Also my stepson mom died when he was 2 so everyone has craddled him ALOT to the point that when i met him he was allowed to do WHATEVER he wanted good or bad. Because of this he has had a nail go through his foot, tried to perm his hair, damaged his eye lens and currently needs surgey, almost lost his finger to a turtle and a bunch of other stupid things. What am i to do???

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D. - posted on 04/11/2014

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Omg! Wow he's another step away from an accident waiting to happen. I deal with the same reactions from my husband when I try to discipline his son. The milk thing is exact. However my stepson hits others, yells it's always your fault and has no remorse for his actions. My husband keeps telling me he is just a child, 6 years old). They "cradle " him like I cradle our 2 month old. It's ridiculous. Your hubby like mine obviously isn't listening to you. I bet you get blamed when things go wrong like I do. Only advice I have is if you don't have kids together then leave. If you do, like me, then try your best not to get involved. I've been doing just the opposite for over a year now and nothing changes. My husband and I argue a lit over how his kids should be disciplined to the point where I feel my husband is the 5th child in our family. And I love him but our house is lmt a home that I want for our kids. I wish you luck and positive changes in future. I dragged my husband to a love n logic parenting program (free at our school district) and he's slowly getting on board.

Toni - posted on 01/03/2013

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I think you and your husband need to have a good long talk.
Try to explain that, while you are not trying to take over, you are just trying to make sure your step son is looked after properly.
You want him to be healthy and happy, and sometimes that means setting these boundary's.

My youngest brother was treated like this when he was younger. He couldnt ride a bike until he was 12 years old because of excessive 'mothering'. My youngest brother is now 20 years old and he has the mental capacity of a 12 year old. The excessive mothering has been extremely detrimental to his mental health.

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