How to handle controlling mothers...and grandmother?

Maretta - posted on 08/02/2012 ( 1 mom has responded )

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I am an adult and I live on my own and take care of all my childs needs, but my mother insist on telling me how to run my household especially since me & my daughters dad are no longer together... I feel that it is one thing to control things at her house and spoil my child and try to be the dominate one but I think this is not a positive factor for my daughter and when I try to stand up to my mother she is always like you are being disobedient or play that I am your mother card!! and it piss me off. especially when she tries to get offended or upset when I stand up for myself. I am a very sensitive & respectful person but I don’t think this is right I am my daughters mother and know what is best for her...it is one thing to give advice and another to give directions and be controlling





Ugh I don’t want to hurt my mom feelings nor keep my daughter away from her, but it is affecting my 2 year old behavior as if we are not going through enough issues with her dad being absent



HELP PLEASE GUYS I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO

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User - posted on 08/02/2012

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start off by telling her it is important that she is in yours and your daughters life, but she is making it difficult for you. you could even blame it on the father. that you just cant take her judgement of the way you are raising your children with all this already going on, that you need her support. tell her it is important for your children to see you two helping eachother, not controlling one another. If there is a struggle between you two for control, maybe both give in a little. She probably thinks she is helping. come to some sort of agreement. Maybe tell her you dont want her to control you, but ask her advice every once in a while so she can still feel involved and important without feeling like she has to tell you what to do to get her opinion out. You dont really even have to take her advice, but making her feel important might help. tell her you want to feel like you can come to her for advice, and not have to feel like she will go crazy with control.

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