How to Handle My Friend's Daughter Not Liking My Husband

B - posted on 10/09/2012 ( 3 moms have responded )

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I have a very good friend whose children I am very close with. But a year and half ago I got engaged and their 4 year old daughter decided she didn't like my husband. At first I chalked it up to jealousy on her part thinking he was taking me away. I figured she would get over it. But its getting worse and she now throws tantrums when we come over together. My husband feels very ackward and doesn't like to see the kids at all. My friendship is suffering because the parents tell her to be nice but don't really go beyond that. I don't want to tell them how to parent but I don't know how to act with them anymore. She is getting her way by not having to see him and as it continues I don't really see them anymore either. Does anyone have advice on how I can react when she tells me she doesn't like my husband or is it a talk I have with the parents?

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B - posted on 10/10/2012

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Thank you. Both replies are very helpful. When her parents or I ask her why she doesn't like my husband she says its his hair (he has very curly hair). Such a silly reason is why I think it has more to do with jealousy on her part than any real reason.



Thanks for the advice!

Princess - posted on 10/10/2012

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Wow! I agree with Katrina talk to her without your husband also ask the parents if she said anything or gave a reason for not liking your husband. I'm quite sure that subject has come up.

Katrina - posted on 10/10/2012

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I would sit down with her (without your husband) and ask her what the issue is...she may be able to tell you what's wrong. If it's something that can be fixed, great :) If it is jealousy, you can reassure her that you still love her and that won't change no matter what. If there is no reason, and she is just being bratty, I'd explain that you understand that she doesn't like DH, but he is a part of you (coz he makes you happy and you make him happy) and that is not going to change....and that if she wants to have nice visits with you, she will need to stop the attitude or else you might not feel welcome coming over, and that would make you sad, her parents sad and her sad. Also say that DH would love to be her friend too if she would like to "let him in" so to speak. And that would make EVERYONE happy :)

Again, reassure her that you're not going anywhere (unless she pushes you away)

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