How would you feel if you found out.....

[deleted account] ( 16 moms have responded )

How would you feel if you found out that your partner has previously been a sperm donor before you got together?

Or if you only found out once a Offspring tried to contact your partner?

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Tina - posted on 07/24/2009




I am sure this is a hard situation to be in. I think it is a great thing he was able to do for someone who wasn't able to have a child themselves. Although, I think this is something he probably should have told you about earlier.

Kelly - posted on 07/24/2009




i think that most people would be suprized that they were contacted....but i don't think that they would be mad at all....and im sure there partner would understand....i just think that they would be suprized cuz i don't think that when they donate they are thinking that in however many years that they would be contacted.......

Debra - posted on 07/24/2009




You never really know what you would do or how you would feel if it hasn't happened to you. I would like to say that I hope I would be fine w/ it but would wish that he told me about it. I wouldn't be all that upset and wonder what else they haven't told me.

Kelly - posted on 07/24/2009




I think that i would be suprized that i had not known about it already....but i wouldn't be mad, its his choice to do what he wants before you were together...and he gave someone a gift that changed there life.....

[deleted account]

I am so sorry for giving every one here the impression that my partner has done this, he hasn't.

I was concieved through Donor Sperm and i'm trying to find out about my donor.

The reason why I asked, is because, If I am succesfull with my search and am able to contact the donor, I wanted to know how you would feel about (if your parnter had been a donor) a offspring contacting your partner.

Charlie - posted on 07/24/2009




it would be a shock , but i would be so proud that he gave some other people the chance to be a parent .its a wonderful gift.

Melissa - posted on 07/24/2009




I would be proud that he gave someone else the best gift ever that is very self less. Of course he should have told you and honesty is so important in every relationship. However as it was a good deed maybe this one could slide and I would communicate how important honesty is in the future. Good luck I hope even if I dont help you that someone else here has the words you need.

Jessica - posted on 07/24/2009




I don't think I would mind. If he chose to be a donor in the past whatever the reasons he had that was his past. If a child that he was a donor for tried to contact him and it was the first I heard of it I would probably be shocked but its not like he cheated on me, he gave someone the gift of a child. Now if we were together when this happened it would be a totally different situation.

Tallulah - posted on 07/24/2009




I would be mad at first that he didn't tell me, but think about it, it was before you two got together. It is also his right, just look at it this way that's more for you to love, if the child lets you.

Samantha - posted on 07/24/2009




WOW! It would be shocking, but you have to remember that it was his past. And it sounds terrible and I'm sorry, but there really isn't anything you can do to change the past.... Sorry hun! Think of the possitive things.... He was helping someone out!

Kate CP - posted on 07/24/2009




I would be pissed that he hadn't told me sooner. I would have a serious "Is there anything else you want to tell me?" talk with the man.

Savannah - posted on 07/24/2009




The secrecy would bother me. Not the action. It's not like he actually had sex with the woman. I would want to know up front, though, not be surprised by a kid all the sudden.

[deleted account]

I agree with Michelle...I think I would be bothered about finding out only by the kid trying to contact my husband. I wouldn't care that he had been a donor (although it would take a little getting used to the idea), I would be a bit more upset about the secrecy of it all.

Michelle - posted on 07/24/2009




I forgot to add that at least he did this at a donor clinic and didn't cheat on you to end up with this child:0) Which is a very good thing!!

Michelle - posted on 07/24/2009




If he told me upfront that he had done this I would be fine with it. That's just me though! If he left it for me to find out on the chance that a child would contact him I might be a little more apt to yell until I turned blue in the face!! But I know almost everything in my husbands past so I think it would be more that he had kept that from me and has told me SO many other things!!!

Colleen - posted on 07/24/2009




I believe that it is his right to do so. What a great gift he was able to give someone! If the offspring did want to contact him I believe that child is trying to fill a void in his/her heart. That we should let he/she fill.

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