hubby is a schemer

Chichi - posted on 10/01/2013 ( 6 moms have responded )

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i met my hubby 10 years ago,i was 19 at the time,we have 3 kids together,but after 2 years of happiness in marriage came the abuse,cheating,late nights and i have been hoping that things will be ok again.he s so jealous he wants to know everything i do ,he s inferiority complex ids damming ,it almost seems like he never wants good for me,we have been living separately for 2 years now.this was not an agreement,he just packed up and left me with 3 kids.he barely pays for anything,just the school fees,as he believes my family is there for me .i pay the other bills .i have tried to talk to him about moving on but he always evades the topic and keeps beating round the bush,meanwhile he s moving on with his life,has a new apartment and girlfriend and he s still married to me,every time he says i am his wife and he s trying to put his life together,i am in the process of moving on with my life,and he just packed and left the country,he didn't tell me nothing,no number to reach him and all. i am beginning to see that all he wants to do is hold me down in a marriage while he moves on finds a stable ground for himself and when he's done and ready for a divorce,he comes and gives it to me.he feels my religious background will not allow me move from the marriage .but i am ready now than ever,but don't know how to go about it,

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Marissa Merian Dillenburger - posted on 10/01/2013

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I would talk to a lawyer and see what they think you should do, as far as he goes I wouldn't hold on to any hope that things will get better. Its hard to hear, I know, my sons father tried to kill me 3 weeks before my son was born and I tried to hold on to things and make things work between us every time that he came back around for some reason and I will tell you that it doesn't get better, in fact it gets worse and if you would like a divorce and he won't cooperate with it you can have him served with one so you can get out of the marriage. It seems to me that he has moved on and wont allow you to and that is not right, you need to move on with your life and become happy, find someone to make you happy, and who will love your kids and let you be the woman that you want to be without judgment :)

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Marissa Merian Dillenburger - posted on 10/02/2013

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I certainly agree. Getting a lawyer is going to be your best bet to get everything started and restarting your life without him consuming it. You will get through it you just have to take a stand and relearn who you are

Michelle - posted on 10/02/2013

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See your lawyer. They will try and trace him down and if they can't you can get a divorce without him.
The best advice is to see a lawyer ASAP.

Michelle - posted on 10/01/2013

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You don't have to wait for him to get the divorce. Get yourself a lawyer and start it yourself. A lawyer can get the divorce papers served on him.

Chichi - posted on 10/01/2013

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I thank you so much Marrissa. You are indeed a very strong woman.I would appreciate some legal advice.Its almost like this is all thats consuming me,i cant seem to think of any other thing recently.and the fear that i might be a spectator in my own life is scary,while my life just goes by.its hard but i believe its better now .Thank you so much.Awaiting your response,

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