Hurts to have sex 9 mo after birth.. . no tearing. is tthat normal?

Sarah - posted on 04/24/2013 ( 2 moms have responded )

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I'd hate to admit it, but I don't feel the same about sex anymore because of the pain and its taken its toll on our marriage. I don't understand why if I didn't tear or have to be cut why it still feels like sandpaper down there. We use tons of lube, different approaches, different positions but it doesn't change the fact that he can't go very far before it hurts really bad and then I get tight and tense up and there's no recovering from that. Before Joshua was born I used to have this large sex drive but now I feel nothing. No desire, no sexual attraction, nothing. I've tried everything I could to stimulate the drive but most everything just plain hurts. Does anybody else have this problem? I remember this one spot that used to be really sore when we first started. My husband said it looked like scarring. Do scars cause this much pain and if so do they ever go away? I need answers I'm ripping hair from my head trying to find answers.

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JC - posted on 05/10/2013

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Are you breast feeding? I found that while I was breast feeding (2 years) sex was painful because your body doesn't produce enough estrogen. My dr ended up giving me a lovely (not!) estrogen cream that helped with the pain. My sex drive didn't come back until I was done breast feeding tho. Good luck to you!

Mary - posted on 04/29/2013

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I'm in a very similar situation. My son is nearly 6 months old and my husband and I have only had sex a couple of times (if you could even call it that). I had my 6 week postpartum which was extremely uncomfortable, my OB said things looked good. I noticed that I do have what appears to be scar tissue, which seems to be the cause of the pain. Sometimes it is even uncomfortable to pee.
This has also been difficult on my marriage.
Unfortunately I don't have any answers for you, but you are not alone.
Looks like I will need to discuss with my family physician. I will update if she provides any useful information.

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