Husband bonding issues...

Samantha - posted on 07/22/2009 ( 6 moms have responded )




My husband seems to be having some problems bonding with our new 7 weeks old daughter. This was his first day home with her durring the day while i was at work. He said she screamed the whole time. Any suggestions to help her "behave" with him? I never have any troubles like that with her. Usually she's just a little fussy in the evenings.


Julie - posted on 07/22/2009




It might just be that he is a little nervous, and she can pick up on that. My husband, while always willing to help and loving our son to pieces, was very nervous when my son was little because he was afraid of hurting him because he seemed so tiny and delicate. My son is 10 months now, and since my husband can tickle him and toss him around, he's a lot more comfortable with him now. So just letting them spend time together so they can both get more comfortable may be all they need.


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Tia - posted on 07/28/2009




Dont worry my boyfriend did not like holding are son till he was about 1.5 month old. i think they are just scared that they will hurt them

Sarah - posted on 07/23/2009




My son was the same way for a awhile with my husband. He is 3 1/2 months old now and is totally bonded to him. Are you nursing? I nurse my son and I think that's what made it difficult for my husband to bond with because he was more used to me, my scent and was with me more simply because I had to feed him so often. I just kept letting them have their time together when he got home, screaming or not. If he got too upset I'd take him and calm him down but for the most part the time they did get together did help. Slowly but surely he got more used to him and bonded. I think as he got a little older that helped too because he can play with him and he assosiates my husband with playing and fun. Hope that helps! :)

Amber - posted on 07/23/2009




I agree with everyone else I think little babies tend to make dad's nervous. My boyfriend gets better and more bonded with our son the bigger he gets. Also I found that in the begining I did everything. Eventually I began encouraging my boyfriend to do things like change diapers and do baths while I was there. The more he did the more comfortable he felt. There was one day a week my boyfriend had the baby while I worked and the first day my son cried and wouldn't nap the second time he just wouldn't nap by the 3rd or 4th time he was used to being with dad and dad was used to him. I think it just takes some time. I definately think encouraging him to do more while you are there is a great way to get him more comfortable.

[deleted account]

She is used to you being around more, so she naturally is going to be wondering where you are. And if your husband is anything like mine, I think he was freaked out by the whole newborn thing at first, and maybe she can sense that? I'm sure after a few times of being alone, it will get better! Good Luck!

An - posted on 07/22/2009




They probably just need to get used to being alone together. Before you were always there to help out - mostly without even noticing that you were doing so and now they just both need some time to adjust to the fact that it's just the two of them.
My husband sometimes is less patient with our daughter than I am, everyone has their moments, they'll be fine. x

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