husband vs WIC

[deleted account] ( 86 moms have responded )

in my state if you're under a certain income you qualify for WIC (women, infants, children) benefits. you get a few gallons of milk (understatement omg), a dozen eggs, 16oz cheese, 16oz bread, beans, peanut butter, and $10 worth fresh or frozen fruits and veggies. the amounts vary according to who the checks are for.



you also get cereal, about 36oz a month. the cereal is my main thing.



my daughter is 1yo and eating big kids' WIC so she gets cereal and milk and all that goodly stuff. she gets to eat all her stuff, too.



i am pregnant, so i also get WIC with the cereal and whatever. we get 36oz of cereal each, each month.



my husband is NOT pregnant and is NOT on WIC. but he eats all my cereal.



this is unacceptable. what do i do to fix this? i have talked to him about eating it without milk, told him that with as much freaking milk as we get with this stuff and only 72oz of cereal in total (at least half of which goes to my daughter) to last us all month he needs to stop eating it out of the box when he's bored and doesn't want to make himself something (he's home during the day with our daughter until i get home, then he goes to work at 3pm and is there all night). he does not listen. it should be a simple thing, make a bowl of cereal and eat it with milk, if you must have cereal, especially since the milk is there just wasting away in our refrigerator unless we give it to friends.



and why must he torture me by setting the empty cereal box back where the cereal goes so that when i want my bowl of cereal and get excited because it's there and i can eat it, my hopes are dashed to the kitchen floor because the box is empty.



why????



so yeah...what would you do? should i make him start buying his own food and not let him touch our WIC stuff? the cereal and the eggs are the only things he eats, and i don't mind the eggs because they make me sick. i'm considering that option and it seems like a good idea right now...

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Samantha - posted on 03/08/2012

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Are you serious? "My cereal"? I can’t help but throw out there that I think it is unhealthy for your relationship to have that kind of attitude towards your things- to think that this is mine and that is yours, and since it’s not his name on the WIC forms it is “unacceptable” for him to eat the cereal too. If cereal is really that big a deal to you, is there anything else you can cut out of your budget to spare an extra $10-15/month for more cereal? Cable? Entertainment? Cut back on electricity?

I’m not there with you behind closed doors so I shouldn’t judge, but my advice is compromise and sacrifice for each other. If you talk about it with him, do so respectfully. Good luck!

Mabel - posted on 03/08/2012

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Hey when I was pregnant I went to dinner at a Mexican restaurant with the family.I told the waiter NO BEANS.My plate came out and everything had beans on the edges where they had poured the refried beans onto my plate.I got so pissed that I burst into tears slammed my fork down shoved the plate away and stormed out of the resturant.My poor husband followed me outside and I was just bawling. People were passing by looking at the crazy pregnant lady and all I could spit out was I asked for NO BEANS!!!! Don't mess with a pregnant woman's food no matter if she bought it or the damn state did.

Hubby never laughed so hard at me before.

Dana - posted on 03/08/2012

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Damn people, cut her some slack, she's pregnant. I'm a reasonable person, but got super fly pissed when my husband didn't put ICE COLD water in the water pitcher... Looking back, I was absurd, at the time it seemed pretty reasonable.

Not to mention the fact that she's pregnant, and yeah, maybe WIC is there to supplement, and maybe they shouldn't be having another kid if they can't afford the extra food, but what's done is done, she's pregnant. So, that being said, SHE should be making sure to eat the food WIC has provided. It's for HER, she's pregnant. WIC is not there for her husband. It's there to ensure her child is getting proper nutrition.

Allicia - posted on 03/08/2012

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Omg! If you really can't afford more cereal then why are you having another baby? To have another child is going to cost more then a extra box or 2 of cereal a month. Please don't say it was a oops baby becuase u couldn't afford birth control. You can get free birthcontrol at plan parent hood.

Jenni - posted on 03/09/2012

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Elizabeth, you're making a lot of assumptions here.



First, you're questioning her integrity of whether or not she disclosed her husband's income. She clearly states that they have no extra money for food aside from what they get from WIC. There are plenty of families who don't make enough income to pay the bills and afford groceries.



Second, she hasn't stated anywhere that she has said anything to her husband. So I don't get where you think she's being mean to her spouse. She says in her second post that this is mostly just a rant. She's obviously feeling stressed. We all should know that being pregnant makes us funny and we get worked up about the small things. At least she's having a vent about it here and not going off on her husband about it.



Third, she's just upset that he's taking the lion's share of it. The cereal is her thing. There are other things in the house he can eat. She has an aversion to the eggs.



Anyways, I don't think she's being mean at all. She's being pregnant. Gawd, I don't know how many stupid things I went off at my husband about when I was pregnant. Or how many silly things I cried over. I think I cried more in the duration of my pregnancy than I have in my entire life combined. Hormones do funny things to us.



I totally agree with Joy. Her family is struggling financially right now. Let the poor pregnant girl enjoy some simple pleasures. It's cereal! Let the girl have her gosh darn cereal! lol

This conversation has been closed to further comments

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Cikku - posted on 12/12/2012

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ah sorry if I ask but your family affords the food for your family or is the WIC like a life saver for your family?



I mean that points actually is very important in this discussion for some help.

Amber - posted on 11/16/2012

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With prices continually going up, I think SHelby's Wotherspoon's response is harsh. WIC doesn't help all that much, they just provide a few checks, in Wa, where I live something like 6.00 dollars in vegetables, that's definitely not enough for the whole month or anything, and they provide peanut butter, milk, cheese, cereal, and a few other items. THAT'S IT, its there to give mom's and babies their Iron and fortified rich foods. And you never know why the MOM is on WIC, maybe their husband died, maybe she's disabled, maybe this economy and fewer jobs has hurt her household, let's keep to her question, not yell at her for having kids, because, you never know why entirely why she needs WIC right now. Here, it only lasts till the child is. Since, the beginning people have been having children through droughts and wars, poor and rich, every kind of situation imaginable and somehow we have all made it. I would really hate it, if you told me I shouldn't have my daughter because I have Rheumatoid Arthritis and Fibromyalgia and some days its hard for me to hold her for very long and I cannot work at what I use too, or that I am older mom, I am 36 and when she's 15 or 20, I'll be 50 or 60 and don't I think that's too old to be a mom. I would equally hate it if you told me (I was on birth control) that I shouldn't have kids.) As soon, as I get my 2nd career going, I will be getting off .of WIC It was surprising to find myself having to into WIC and ask for a little extra help for these two years, when I had never had to ask for help before. So be kind, its hard enough for everybody out there right now. Even some rich folks are finding they don't have jobs, money, ets, or their money is going to be gone in a year or two, so kindness is needed now. And yes, the well being of our kids, which means using the provided services to help our growing kids, improve our situation, and try to do better for our family.

Amber B.

Crystal - posted on 11/16/2012

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He there, I am a Male, here to give my view point... Puting an empty box back is just wrong no matter how you look at it! every male loves cereal.. hell I can out away a box of kellogg's cocoa krispies lol no lying there, I do the shopping in our house, so I buy the kids there cereal and i get me a box of kelloggs corn flaks once mine is gone thats it for me (which i shar with the kids)I feel that the W.I.C program is primarly targeted torwards preg moms and childer! If your husband eats all the ceral and your kids get none of it thats wrong kick his ass out, here in our home kids come first then m wife then me, thats the way it should be! sound like your husband is only thinking abot himself in that case you need to be firm with him put your foot down and don't use the gentail "lets sit down and talk about it" not sure what world your living in but this is not t.v.! hard core talking that sounds like what he needs! As long as the kids are healty as can be, stop procrastinate on eating and get in there and eat some stuf up turn the table on him!!

And for the woman who said "if you cant afford food then you shouldn't be getting pregnant" what a mean thing to say! if i could i send my sister over to kick your a$$ :)

[deleted account]

If u can't afford to actually buy food then u shouldn't be havin kids!!!! that's horrible!

[deleted account]

If the problem is him eating the cereal then he should be a little more considerate that his wife is pregnant A least to eat just a bowl of cereal with milk or make something else to eat. It's not hard to make something to eat. All you have to do is just sit down and talk with your husband. I hope all works out. Just relax.

Janice - posted on 03/14/2012

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Technically, WIC is for children. Only women who are pregnant or exclusively breastfeeding get it. It was created to ensure the health of children in families that are low income but not necessarily poor enough for other services such as food stamps. While the food is technically for them, WIC does not really give a shit if others in the home eat the food too. They weigh the children so if their was a growth issue then maybe the family would be questioned. I mention my husband and what he eats sometimes and they dont care.



The real issue is her husband purposefully eating ALL the cereal and then putting back the empty box just to upset her. That is not okay!

[deleted account]

I don't remember the name on the check is only for that person. WIC is for the family. I agree with the empty box might as well throw it out if it's empty. If getting mad over a cereal and milk then you got serious problems. I wouldn't worried over a box of cereal all you have to do is buy another box of cereal. If budget is too tight look at your cost. Trust me I know what is to budget. I had to minimized our cost. We were really really tight on money. My FH had to do doubles for weeks to make ends meet. I def wouldn't get mad over a cereal we have other things to worry about. Trust me just make other adjustments. It's nothing too serious to get really mad over it.

Merry - posted on 03/14/2012

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Brandy that may be true I'm not sure but I can assure you no one is watching you in your house to see who eats the food.

I work for wic and im on wic and they never said anything of the sort to me

Bran-Dee - posted on 03/14/2012

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The way WIC works the food on the coupon is only for the person on the coupon. It sounds stupid but your even supposed to keep everything seperate I am not supposed to let my 8 year old eat any food my 3year old gets I have to buy her seperate milk its BS but you can be kicked out of the program

[deleted account]

***MOD WARNING***



Ladies,



Stop with the bickering and insults or this thread will be locked.



Thank you for your co-operation



Toni

Young moms mod

MeMe - Raises Her Hand (-_-) (Mommy Of A Toddler And Teen) - posted on 03/13/2012

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Well I have interacted with Jaime a bit in other communities and she does not deserve to be disrespected. No one does. If you don't feel you did anything than no need to react. It is that simple. Anyhow, no more back and forth here. I have said what I meant to say. ;)

Mommy - posted on 03/13/2012

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And I don't see how I was flaming, I simply requested you keep your insults to yourself, that's not what this site is about.

Mommy - posted on 03/13/2012

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I don't like being called and an a$$hole, so yes, I will confront anyone who refers to me as that.

MeMe - Raises Her Hand (-_-) (Mommy Of A Toddler And Teen) - posted on 03/13/2012

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Right, so I guess you were out of line for responding to my original post were'nt ya?? You came onto me flaming. If YOU didn't say anything wrong, then no need to get all upity now is there?

Mommy - posted on 03/13/2012

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And if you don't like what people have to say, you always have the option of finding a different site :)

Mommy - posted on 03/13/2012

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If you want to respond to me, quote what I said, not other posters,.because I didn't say any of the things you have in italics below. I haven't put a single person down, including you.

Mommy - posted on 03/13/2012

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Hey Meme, I would appreciate it if you didn't refer to those of us who differ in you're opinion as a$$holes. We are giving our opinion, which is what the poster requested. Would you be ok with me calling you an a$$hole for being insulting? How about we all act as adults and have respect for one another.



Also I hear a lot of people saying since she is pregnant she should be able to have whatever she wants. I'm pregnant right now, and pasta is my favorite food, and I wouldn't think to keep it from my husband or child, even if it was the last box in our pantry.

Brittney - posted on 03/13/2012

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My husband is always eating all of my daughters cereal, also complains when she drank all the milk. I buy it for all of us, but he only eats cereal, he is like a picky child who wont try anything new. Fruity Pebbles, Frosted Flakes, and Lucky Charms. I buy those for him, but he eats half of one box, then goes and opens another, and another, then complains there is no milk.



I received WIC for 3 months (first set of checks), they didn't believe me on how much I can ate, and I was giving all the milk away cause I don't drink low-fat, My husband was eating all the cereal in a day (I don't mind, I don't eat it), and the only thing I actually used was the $10 food vouchers. When Hy-Vee has a frozen veggie sale (.89) I grabbed up $20 worth (2 vouchers) and it has lasted us for almost 2 years now. I didn't like how I was treated at WIC, so I never went back.



As to what you should do...you could buy cereals he wont eat but you and/or your daughter will.

MeMe - Raises Her Hand (-_-) (Mommy Of A Toddler And Teen) - posted on 03/13/2012

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He should SHARE like an sensible person should do...

Stephanie - posted on 03/13/2012

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yes wic is for wemen children and babies but if the man your with is on your case he has the right to it espically if he is the bread winner in the home he is supporting you and your kids he should be aloud to eat what he wants but agree with the empty boxes

MeMe - Raises Her Hand (-_-) (Mommy Of A Toddler And Teen) - posted on 03/13/2012

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Yes but we are talking about cereal, no? Does he really "need" it? I highly doubt it. She needs it more. Not all pregnant mom's can eat anything. If cereal goes down easy, then it should be left for her to eat it. It is only common decency and respect. Sounds to me he is being an ass. She has asked him to eat it with milk because then it would last longer. He is obviously not even trying to understand and help her there. Then he leaves the empty box in the cupboard. Ummm, disrespect? I think so...

[deleted account]

I think the best thing if any the husband could make eggs with cheese and bread. I don't know when I was pregnant I wan't and still picky with food. To me food is food is nothing serious. In my opinion. Well that's one suggest. Another make rice with eggs which that is def the easiest thing to make. I made that a lot. When I had WIC I saw it as a help a push.. I stop getting it after my son turned 1 and a half just the long waits was a drag for me. I never saw it like Meme say. If it wasn't for me being pregnant there would not be any WIC. Not making any pass judgement but in my case if it wasn't for my FH working I wouldn't have a roof over my head. If she's not working I bet the husband is providing more. So let's just not go defensive on her being pregnant. When I was pregnant with my son I was never bitchy only once when I wanted pizza but never that too extreme. Pregnancies are very different for everyone. I also understand her being pregnant but to me seems more sensitive because she's pregnant. I'm sure it's just hormones.

MeMe - Raises Her Hand (-_-) (Mommy Of A Toddler And Teen) - posted on 03/13/2012

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You're right Bobbi, her husband IS selfish... ;)



If Jaime wasn't pregnant there would be NO cereal for her husband to munch on and eat ALL of it.

[deleted account]

Umm I don't understand why you getting mad. The WIC is for everyone. I don't know. My state of mind when I had WIC I don't eat the cereal because I'm very picky with cereal so I just tell my FH to pick it and I don't get mad when he drinks the milk or any other. We are together and live together and the WIC is just a help. My FH would buy me a different type of cereal. I see it as WIC is to benefit both of us not just me and my son. We are a family and whatever is mine is his an whatever is his is mine. We don't label our stuff we share.



Hope all works out.

Bobbi - posted on 03/13/2012

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Selfish selfish selfish I could careless what my husband eats & we get wic to, I dont are you kindin my kid cant eat now that you ate a bowl of cereal. wow how sad for your kids, are you going to get mad at them too for eating your brand & not theirs

MeMe - Raises Her Hand (-_-) (Mommy Of A Toddler And Teen) - posted on 03/13/2012

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OK, my 2 cents.. OK maybe 4 cents...



1st of all yes, I agree you are a family and all food should be shared BUT, yep a BIG BUT.



Jaime is the one that is pregnant. Her husband is NOT. He can eat anything, obviously Jaime is like me and LOVES cereal especially while pregnant. He should have enough respect and common decency to leave it the hell alone!



I know my husband would, if we couldn't afford more. He would want to make sure I was happy because, well, that IS what is best for him! LOL



I think it is rather rude that Jaime's husband is eating it all and doing it by not using milk, which would make the cereal last longer. He is also being a great big prick by putting the empty box back in the cupboard. I would flip. My 13.5 year old at times, puts an empty box back and by jesus she hears about it!



ETA: If you lived by me Jaime I would give you a box or two. Cereal is my night time snack, we seldom have less than 6-8 boxes... I think your husband is being a great big ass! Seriously...

Tina - posted on 03/13/2012

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This does sound a bit petty... But to be honest, when I once mentioned that my husband loves that we get life cereal (before it was cut once again) the worker simply said ”I didn't hear that” your husband and children that are not on W.I.C. are not to be eating the items we provide. The items provided are specifically only for the name listed on the WIC voucher.



I, however have NEVER stopped my husband or other children or myself from eating what's here. And believe me, I'm not rich, my husband is the only One working and makes less than $3,000 a mo with 4 kids ranging from age almost 10, down to 20 mo

Erin - posted on 03/13/2012

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I got Wic in va and they ask how many in your household so my assumption is that they take that into account and it's not just for the pg lady and children covered by Wic but for the whole family.

Katie - posted on 03/13/2012

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i'd either make him buy his own box or i'd hide my stash where he cant find it.sadly im the only one in the house who will eat cereal.so we have alot of unopened boxes just sitting around.

Kristi - posted on 03/12/2012

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If you live in TX one of the qualifications for WIC is if you are on medicaid or food stamps. If you don't have enough money to buy more than WIC then you really need to talk to the HHS office and see if you qualify for more food stamps, or check out some couponing blogs to see if you can find some scenarios that will help you save some money on your grocery bill. They might even be able to direct you to your local food bank to help you out.

Keri - posted on 03/12/2012

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Food Pantry's are a very big help! Many a time we went, and they usually give you lots of pastas, cereals, and canned foods. If you aren't sure how to find them ask the people at WIC, and look at local churches.



WIC is to supplement Woman (pregnant or nursing) Infants and Children. It is not for the family. They are not Food Stamps (apply for them, you can find out online if you are income eligible). It is difficult to keep food separate, but we try to the best of our ability. However, they do not expect us to cook different meals for each person in the household. That said it wouldn't be OK if hubby ate food meant to give our children nutrition. I do understand the argument for both sides, whats mine is mine and whats yours is mine. His income is calculated into the equation but that's because they need to know that you are truly in need, not just trying to get free stuff.



Good Luck and God Bless you and your family!

Janice - posted on 03/12/2012

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And at Renee, shit happens. My daughter took 3 years to "make" we had no intention of having a second so soon but our son surprised us before we were financially ready. You have know nothing about this families situation. If you have no advice dont post!

Janice - posted on 03/12/2012

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My daughter and I receive WIC and the food in the home is for everyone. My husband works his butt off so that we can buy all the other groceries so he gets to eat cereal too. I must say him purposefully putting empty boxes back just to upset you is not okay. You two just really need to have a talk about mutual respect. Being mean to you for fun is just not okay!



And WIC and food stamps are separate. My family qualifies for WIC but nothing else.

[deleted account]

Ur acting very immature. He is your Husband. What's the problem? You said he works and all he wants to do is eat a some cereal out of the box. You have to let this little stuff like this go. A lot of marriages are falling apart over stuff like leaving the toilet seat up. If that's all my husband did that got on my nerves I'd be on my knees praising God. I used to get WIC too and we had a ton of cereal left over. I'm not trying to be mean or hurt your feelings but you just gotta let little things like that slide. Trust me there's a lot of women out here that would love for there husband to get up of the couch and get a job. Count your blessings, give him a big kiss, and sit down beside him on the couch eating cereal outta the box with him. LIFE IS TOO SHORT! God Bless!

Holly - posted on 03/11/2012

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For gods sake she's pregnant. When I'm pregnant I'm lucky if I can find a few things TOTAL I can keep down the entire pregnancy.



I say hide it from the butthead!



Don't mess with a pregnant woman and the little bit of food she can eat.

Holly - posted on 03/11/2012

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if you are running out of cereal and can't afford more, then why don't you go to your local food pantry? we have had to do that in the past and that really can help when you are struggling. and i agree with all of the posts....you should try to share your cereal and i also get it cause your prego, i used to buy little cuties by the bag full and would get so annoyed when my kids (i know not very motherly but my hubby knew better then to touch them lol) would eat my oranges, so i would buy my own bag of lil cuties and they got their own bag lol

Amber - posted on 03/11/2012

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I agree with Dana S. when she said, "Cut her some slack".

I think when we reply, we should use this as a supportive, or at least a helpful, understanding, or give her some new helpful ideas kind of reply. The mom obviously wanted some help and to simply be heard and validated, not torn down as some of the post come too harshly back on her. She is pregnant, number one, and I think food is pretty important when you are pregnant. She is on W.I.C and W.I.C and it stands for Women, Infant, and Children, not husbands (or it would have been called W.I.C.H) its there for pregnant women and the children (at least in my state till the children are 5 years). Food stamps is for the entire family and yes the WIC is only to supplement, its some extra nutrition for the pregnant woman and kids.



Also, out of this one post, we don't know her family life or how much her husband eats, is considerate to her and her kid, or how lazy her husband is. Maybe he's not at all bad or maybe he is really is, but we just don't know their life, so I think "hearing" her, and "validating" her is more of what she needs. If she posted this, its obvious its really troubling her.



Back to the question and Post:

My husband is from Former Yugoslavia and went through two wars and a lot of trauma and tragedy in his life while traveling all over the world and so he seems to be hungry and very selfish about eating our food, because he starved many times and now at 54, that life of starving and some of tragedy and trauma he experienced he seems to be always starving and hungry. It took me the longest time of getting it through to him not to touch the food I made the night before for our 14 month old daughter, because when I would get up the next day with her to feed her it would be all gone, even though I fed him a huge dinner and had other things in the fridge for him. I know my husband can't help it, but he is starting to get better. I just kept reminding him when I would see the food I made up for our daughter gone, I would gently let him know I had made it for her and to please try and not eat her food. I finally made a shelf of our daughter's and my food in the fridge and pantry that is ours and should not be touched by her dad. That has helped a lot. When he sees food, he grabs it and use to not think about if it might be anyone elses, now at least he comes to me and asks if it is for our daughter.



I think we have to remember that every family is different, every husband and wife is different and we don't know enough to just say to Jamie Young to buy more cereal. Maybe her husband doesn't care at all and is a real jerk, we don't know and or maybe she's pregnant and things are a big deal to her, either way respect, hearing her, and validating her is so important because isn't that why we are all here on Circle of Moms and other parenting forums.

Mommy - posted on 03/11/2012

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Who cares what name is on the checks? You're a family, and families share food, among other things. And if you can't afford to buy an extra box of cereal each week,, how will you afford the costs of an extra person in the house, especially a baby.

[deleted account]

My ex's name was never printed on any checks... He WAS an authorized signer though since I was on bedrest w/ the twins and couldn't shop til after they were born.... It was still my name on the checks (or the girls.. starting at 6 months). His name was just signed on the folder, so that he could sign the checks at the checkout. That is unless they've changed things in the 5 years since being off WIC.

Dana - posted on 03/11/2012

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Laura ♥ ♥ ♥ WIC is a service provided by the state to ensure the health of the child. The only reason the mother is getting it is if she is carrying that child that needs nutrition OR if she's breastfeeding said child.

It is NOT for the father, even if they are married, share a house, or whatever else.

And the ONLY reason men can sign for the WIC checks is if they are helping out the mother who can not shop for the food.

Edna - posted on 03/11/2012

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OMG. is this really the issue here? its only cereal. I thought when you married some one you shared everything? including there bad/annoying habbits or is my british mind missing something.

Stifler's - posted on 03/11/2012

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I think this is more a courtesy issue of eating all the cereal than the WIC thing

Merry - posted on 03/10/2012

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They're married. There's no 'his and hers'

They share money, housing, food, products, etc.

Yes he should be more considerate and not eat all the cereal she likes.

But men are allowed to sign for wic checks, their name goes on the checks, it's food for the whole family. Not just for the women.

Dana - posted on 03/09/2012

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Laura ♥ 3, ♥, it's NOT his food too though. It is food given by the state, for the baby.

That's the bottom line, you can twist it six ways to Sunday, but you still come back to the main point.

User - posted on 03/09/2012

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my guess is that if you qualify for WIC you will also qualify for foodstamps (you would be shocked at the amount of people who have them). Foodstamps aren't item specific like annoying WIC checks, so whatever you and baby are craving! Try applying. and if it comes to it maybe take a baggie of it out and hide it for yourself? (maybe one for your daughter too :/ ?)

Stifler's - posted on 03/09/2012

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I agree with getting 2 boxes and labeling them yours and his so he doesn't eat yours.

Merry - posted on 03/09/2012

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I tnk it's inconsiderate of him yes. But not wrong. It's his food too. But yes, if he is just munching on your favorite cereal and then you can't have it when you want it it is inconsiderate.

Steffany - posted on 03/09/2012

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If you cant afford it you can also apply for money.. Check your state or ask wic, they would help you.. when you do that you can look for coupons and special weekly ad.. Combine.. Believe me that would work.. I do that alot especially With the juice cuz my husband loves the juicy juice n he finish it before we can even try it..

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