I am 22 and happily engaged and this is my first pregnancy. My fiance wants to get an abortion because of financial reasons. I don't want an abortion. any one ever been in a situation like this before?

Kelley - posted on 03/23/2012 ( 13 moms have responded )

13

0

0

I just want to no what should I do. I understand totally what he's saying but I just dont agree with abortions.

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Kelley - posted on 03/23/2012

13

0

0

Thanks ladies for the responses. After having a very long debating talk with him I decided to keep my child. He says he is staying but he knows the money is going to put a strain on our relationship. We have been together 3 1/2 yrs and staying together 2 1/2 yrs. I no he is not up and leaving but at the same time want to share this special time with him and hes not being accepting right now.

Joy - posted on 03/23/2012

30

15

2

You will never be finacially able to raise kids so that is a very poor reason to kill one. I say have the baby and if you can't afford the child and can't raise the child give him/her up for adoption. There are families that are looking for babies all the time who for one reason or another can't have their own. My advice, keep the baby and love him/her but if not then give up for adoption. Abortion is something that will stay with you for the rest of your life and its not a good thing. At least with adoption you are giving that precious life a chance, who knows they may be the next Einstein!

13 Comments

View replies by

Kelley - posted on 03/25/2012

13

0

0

Thanks ladies. All of you have said very encouraging words and gave great advice. Those words really hit home for me. With that being said, we are not having an abortion. So thanks again.

[deleted account]

This same thing happened to me except I was 20 and he was just my boyfriend he ended up leaving me over the issue and now my daughter is 7 months old and I would not change a thing that I did. I am now dating a wonderful man that takes care of my daughter as if she was his own and I am the happiest person I could be. You will always believe that you are not financially ready for a child there will always be some excuse and he is probably just scared out of his mind so just reassure him. The way some people estimate out these outrageous amounts that it takes to raise a child is odd. At your baby shower you will be gifted a lot, garage sales are your friends, it is okay to ask for help (my daughter has gotten 98% of her stuff from other children that I know) You will get through it no matter what happens and my biggest advice would have to be do what makes you happy and that does not necessarily have to include your fiance because if you decide to do what is going to make him happy you may regret it for the rest of your life.

Bonnie - posted on 03/24/2012

4,813

22

262

You can do it. There are families that do it and get by all the time. You may just need to work your finances around your child. You both may need to cut back on a few things, but it can be done. You will never be 100% ready. You could be ready now and then a year later have problems.

Barb - posted on 03/24/2012

286

38

10

I raise a kid alone on assitstance and inherentence till she was a year and a half. I never would've gave up my daughter for anything. Don't get rid of the baby keep this little one when he sees your baby he will happy you kept it and if not he's not worth it! My boyfriend and I talked about getting down sydrome testing he said he thought it would be best if we adorted if baby had it down sydrome. I just said I won't give my baby up for anything. It was end of story. This guy should be pushing you to do anything to you don't want to if he loves you that much! Don't do it!

Shannon - posted on 03/23/2012

55

13

3

You shouldn't let anyone pressure you to have or not have an abortion. I am a firm believer in a woman's right to make her own decision. Spend a few weeks trying out each scenario: having an abortion, giving the baby up for adoption or keeping the baby. Then, decide which makes more sense. I agree with some of the other posters that there is never a perfect time to have a baby, but honestly, there can be a better time to have a baby. Finances and stability do play a huge role in raising a baby. Personally, I would have never had a baby IF I didnt think we were prepared enough. I just wouldn't think it would be fair to the baby. I don't want to sway your opinion, but I've never heard of abortion causing a woman to be unable to conceive again. I actually have a friend who had an abortion and went on to have two beautiful little girls a few years later! Whatever you decide will be right for you. However, you need to prepare yourself for how your fiance will feel or react to your final decision. If he is hesitant about having the baby and you decide to have it, he may not be supportive. You need to make sure that you have support elsewhere, especially since you're not married yet. He may surprise you and be totally on board OR he could resent you. I wish you all the best and I hope that you find peace in whatever decision you make. You are young, so life will go on with whatever happens.

Anna - posted on 03/23/2012

19

0

4

I agree with someone posting above that there will never be "perfect" time when it comes to money and raising a child. But if you go to abortion, there may never be another chance that you would get pregnant... I have several friends who had their children in financially unstable times of their lives but they made it through... I also have a friend who was trying to convince his girlfriend to go to abortion when she got unexpectably pregnant. She didint, then the baby was born and he told me how happy he was that his girlfriend didnt do it and thah he could have such a beautiful daughter... she is three years old now :)

September - posted on 03/23/2012

5,233

15

695

I think you should do what you're most comfortable with. Even though it may seem like money is tight right now, it will all work out in the end. Be sure to check out the resources that could be available for you and your family as far as financial support goes.

Kelley - posted on 03/23/2012

13

0

0

We both have supporting families so I will not worry much. I no that daycare will be the biggest issue. We need all the prayer we can get right now. I thank you so much.

Joy - posted on 03/23/2012

30

15

2

just cause the finacies are tight right now doesn't mean that things wont happen that you can get some added income in.. and some times when you think that the fincances are perfect something happens and things change... its just the way life is.. its learning to budget and deal with things. Just a suggestion and please do what is best for you, but consider breast feeding (if you can) cause it saves on the cost of formula and it has saved my family thousands of dollars. Start buying diapers now, about 4 packs of each size as you have the extra money to get it, that way it is something that you bought over time and not as needed which isn't always possible. When you have your baby shower ask people for the big ticket items and who knows you may get them! I got my stroller/car seat and my crib brand new from my baby shower, saved me lots of money (oh and get the cribs that change into toddler beds).. as it will save you money in the future as well. They dont' need alot of toys so dont worry about having tons of toys. Clearance and garage sells are your friend for clothes. I'll pray for you guys!

[deleted account]

I would tell you to do what you feel it's best for you. When I got pregnant my FH and I wasn't in the best position. For starters he just bought a brand new car of 20K. He was still living with his family and not working in a good paying job. I myself wasn't in my best state. I was living with my mom and working in a not good paying job, I didn't thought we would go anyway with our financial situation. I didn't listen to no one. I kept my baby. My Future in laws didn't want me to have my baby only my future father in law was happy and my mother wasn't to thrill because she thought I as going to be left abandon. I was only with my FH for 6 months before I found out I was pregnant.



I didn't care what anyone said and decided to keep my baby. Best decision I made. My FH quite the job and got another job and with that job we started saving money to move out on our own. We were living with my future in laws for a year and 4 months. It was the worst times in our relationship and never comes a day if anything happens to us I will never attempt to go back to living with them.



It will get better you both have to be in the same page. Have faith. I hope everything works out for the both of you. Money is going to be the number 1 problem. There will never be a right time to start a family because of money. I think you should have your baby. You will regret it.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms