I Am A Good Mother No Matter What I Look Like!

Natasha - posted on 07/13/2009 ( 21 moms have responded )

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Does anybody agree with me that people look down on you weather it be because you have tattoos or your hair is an vibrant colour or your child has a moehawk or you have percings.

Does having blood red hair mean that i can't be a good mum??
Does have a piece of metal in my tongue mean that??
Does having a tattoo not just with my sons name in it mean i can't be a good mum??
Because I don't want to wear plain jeans and a t-shirt and sneakers, because I wear bright skirts and dresses... ??

Tell me your thoughts.

21 Comments

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--- - posted on 07/29/2009

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hey I wear either sweats or pajamas all day and if it were acceptable to go without a bra I would do that as well. I feel that people think I am lazy by the way I dress but I am comfortable and want to be in total comfort when I am chasing after kids and cleaning a house.

Jessica - posted on 07/29/2009

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I have 3 tatoos ear piercings lip piercing and my hir colour changes every other month! I also tend to wear slightly outlandish clothes but whenever I get the look I smile right back and sometimes a wink will send them scuttling! Especially if I have DS daddy with me! lmao He has long black hair eyebrow piercing, lip piercing, nose bridge piercing and 2 tatoos. He also tends to wear a blood red cloak! It's a favourite of his!

Kate CP - posted on 07/19/2009

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I get funny looks when I wear sleeveless tops because of my two tattoos. Apparently I don't look like a person who would have tattoos or smoke (I quit a while ago, though). When I tell people I have tattoos or that I used to smoke they look at me like I have a third eye. It's rather comical. :)

Emma - posted on 07/19/2009

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I know exactly where you're coming from. I'm not the nicest looking person but it doesn't mean I'm not a good mum. I get looks when I walk to my sisters and they all scream out to me 'HOW THE HELL CAAN SOMETHING SO UGLY BE A MUM' It's not who is on the outside it's also who is on the inside. I say GO YOU lol :)

Jennifer - posted on 07/19/2009

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Wow I had just asked someone else about this and I have eight tatoos and was thinking of getting my nose or a angel kiss piercing but my problem is jobs...I am a hairstylist working for Sport Clips which is a mens chain barber shop that is conservative well hell at least my shop is and its just annoying I feel like I cant be myself anymore and growing up was told to be even my father now asks me to cover my tatts up and its just hurting my feelings lately....

Charlie - posted on 07/18/2009

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i am Tattooed , pierced , i am wearing skinny black jeans and a deconstructed Pantera T- shirts and my mother said " when are you going to dress like a mother " i had to laugh
What exactly is the mothers uniform ???
im not sure i haven't been issued one yet !

My child has a mohawk and wears led zepplin , pink floyd , pantera T shirts and has a hoodie with devil horns on it , that says from the sand pit to the mosh pit right under a big picture of gene simmons !!!

His bedtime CD is Lullabye renditions of Tool .

Am i a bad Mother ?
No , my child is happy , healthy and loved more than anything else in the world .
The way i present myself is a clear form of visual self expression , people have no right to look down on you because of the way you look , i just laugh at people like that !

Leigha - posted on 07/18/2009

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Today's society is so different than what it was just 10 years ago and people don't realize that or rather forget it. When my sister had her oldest (who is now 10) She was 20 and married and older woman gave her nasty looks, forgetting that they were probably married and had a baby at the same age.

Be yourself!! It shows your children that you have confidence and it instills it in them. I get stares because I am white and my husband is hispanic. So our children especially our oldest look like his side of the family (I'm so white I glow in the dark) I'm also by myself a lot with the girls because he works two jobs to provide for us. I also work full time. Mom's now a days have it rough we are expected to work full time and raise our kids the way society dictates (yeah, ain't gonna happen) I love my girls and I'll raise them to the best of my abilities despite what all appearances are. There are women out there who fit the 'norm' who neglect their children and vice versa. It's not what is on the outside, but the inside and since man looks on the outward appearance and is prone to snap judgements and prejudices there is not a thing we can do, but ignore the looks and only care what the little person in front of us thinks, knows, and mimics.

Jessica - posted on 07/18/2009

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i think that it is crazy what people expect moms to look like now a days. In fact, shouldn't we have more of a reason to look like crap or dress how we want to because we are trying to raise our child/children? Everyone wants mothers to wear make up, look presentable, have lost all of their baby weight in 3 months, and not have any piercings or tattoos because that is just childish. Well, in my opinion, it is just fine to look the way that you want to as long as you are taking care of your children! People are too quick to judge still, they should really welcome themselves into the 21st century. lol

Momma - posted on 07/18/2009

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if people think that your not a good mother because of your looks they are ignorant and in my opinion not worth the time of day. people should find better things to do than look down on someone because of the way they look. this is the 20th century where people should be more free to express who they are as long as they are not harming anyone to do so. (btw, from your picture, i can tell you now there is nothing wrong with you)

Amy - posted on 07/18/2009

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You go girl you can't see my tat either but i used to have my belly pireced and 7 holes in my ears i want more tats but can't right now and i have to hide them because of my job but my kids think it is cool you can see it when i wear shorts or dresses and i wear dresses to church once in a while so i also had purple hair at one time so it is a lot of fun to express your self weather you are a mom or not!!

Keira - posted on 07/13/2009

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I don't have this problem so much, as my piercings came out when I held a fairly conservative job after college. I also have not found anything I want to permanently put on my body, so I am tattoo-less. What I have experienced is nasty comments regarding the fact that I ride a motorcycle. I have been out on my bike three times since my little girl was born 7 weeks ago, and one was a long trip with my husband. A fellow rider asked "Didn't you just have a baby? Shouldn't you be at home?" I wonder what makes my mother-in-law so awful as to necessitate my being home with my daughter all the time instead of leaving her with family for the day so I can enjoy my own hobbies on occasion?

This does not stop at being a mother though - according to many people, I am totally irresponsible for having a motorcycle anyway, regardless of the fact that I have a child.



Also, since I am unemployed at the moment, people assume I am a stay-at-home mom by choice (I am not), or I am completely unskilled and uneducated (I have a master's degree).

Michelle - posted on 07/13/2009

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im a very good mum i think and i have tattoos and i find people look down at me all the time. bugger what people think as long as you know the truth

Emma - posted on 07/13/2009

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I personaly think that whole Stepford wives thing is far more disterbing, than mad hair, and ink. Keep doing your own thing, you are teeching your kids not to be sheep. they are less likely to feel the need to do things just because there friends do. like drink, take drugs have sex. I say yes to individualism. and no too sheep... be yourself and F*** annyone for casting the first stone.

[deleted account]

all my tattoos are not visible when I am wearing normal clothes (you can see them when I reach up for something high up though, one's on my lower back and the other one is on my lower stomach) and I still get funny looks. I think it's mainly because I'm younger (23) and my oldest is 6, almost 7 (I don't tell people she's my stepdaughter, if they want to judge me because they think I had a baby at 16 that's their own problem). I also think it could have something to do with the fact that my two youngest are only 16 months apart and people judge me for having them so close together (we live in a more conservative neighborhood). It stinks, but that's life. If people want the judge based on how things look that's their own issue. I never judge anyone until I've had a chance to talk to them and get to know them and who they are on the inside.

Kirsty - posted on 07/13/2009

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i dont have peircings either or tatoos or wear funky clothin but i still get real bad hacky looks coz im 21 with 2 kids but i dont care im a gd mam so what the hell my kids r my life aswell as my fiance i cudnt care less wot people think or say bout me

Jamie - posted on 07/13/2009

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I'm not one who has tatoos or has all the piercings or has the hair stuff. I just thought I'd say whatever makes you comfortable and makes you YOU then DO IT! It doesn't reflect on what kind of mom you are or If your child is being taken care of. It tells me that you want your child to grow up to be themselves and not worry about what others think. That's what I want for my childen anyways, even if I'm the mom who wear's jeans and t-shirts.

[deleted account]

I say woo hoo for people that show who they are on the outside. I have a couple of tattoos and would like more, they are soo addicting. Only one is visible (on my ankel) but other than that I look "normal". But on the inside I have a complete rocker chick that wants to escape, but I've never had the guts to show her. I say kuddos to those that do!

[deleted account]

Haha, i know how you feel, My hair is blue , i have lip piercings and 4 ear piercings plus a tattoo and people think im freakin retarded, Sorry my haircolor is NOT a direct representation of my IQ thank you very much. I enjoy how i look and so does my husband.

And my lil girl rocks pink skull onsies !!!! *so therefore she MUST be not taken care of.



Oh plus since my husband is in the military its pretty unsual to see the bright hair ( piercings and tats are the norm for some wives) So i went to the store on base - you wouldve thought i was freakin naked. omg the looks i got from the older wives!!!!!

Im not one for attention, i prefer to be left alone,but my looks apparently are just so interesting.lol



oh well i just keep on walking n smiling to myself!

Michelle - posted on 07/13/2009

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I dont have any visable tats or piercings but one thing i have noticed is how differently im treated when im in my scruffs, like the other day for instance. i was just lazing round the house, hair tied back as i hadnt had chance to wash it for about 4 days (you know how it is) Jogging bottoms and one of my hubbys big jumpers on when i realised it was going to rain and i needed a few things from the local shop which is not even 100 meters from my house so i quickly put my daughter in her pram and went to the shop quickly before the heavens opend. On my way round i had a few funny looks from people and i was checking that i didnt have a dirty nappy stuck to me or somthing then a voice from behind me said "i hope ypu have a cover for that, its going to rain". Well thanks for the info love but im aware of the what big black clouds mean. I just thought to myself if id of been dressed in my sunday best with a face full of makeup nobody would of said anything. Of course i would have a cover if i was going for an 11 mile treck but i was just nipping to the corner shop.

Alicia - posted on 07/13/2009

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i have a piercing on my face but its very small, i also have 3 piercings in each ear. i used to have blonde highlighted hair with bright pink aswell (im naturally brown) and i have 1 tattoo on my back so your not alone! i also like to wear bright funky clothes!

I just ignore what other people think, how I look has nothing to do with how I raise my children.

Carrie - posted on 07/13/2009

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i know exactly where your coming from as when my 5 year old was 1 i had tongue, nipple, ears nose peircings and tatoo with his name, butterfly, and bright red hair, you do get bad looks! when i met my husband now, he kindly asked me to take my peircing out so i did. but i regret it now, because that was me, i've just expanded my tatoo now so it has jadens name and vmy husbands initials, but they are also my initials lol!

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