i am a single mother of a four year old and giving up on finding a man....although i want another child asap because i dont want them far apart in age. also my daughter reallly wants a brother or sister! i feel that after a lot of thinking i dont want to have a man in my life right now because all my time is consumed by my child and it wouldnt b fair for me to take my free time to be with someone else....also i do not ever want my child t o feel like a third wheel if i have a new relationship with someone and we have a child its like she is left out and i dont want her to.ever feel that way....her dad is not in her life besides for occasional phone call or dinner once every few months.....so what i am having trouble deciding is am i crazy if i decide to have another child and stay siingle and raise. two children by myself and without a father figure?! help!

Ashley - posted on 10/17/2012 ( 3 moms have responded )

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i am a single mother of a four year old and giving up on finding a man....although i want another child asap because i dont want them far apart in age. also my daughter reallly wants a brother or sister! i feel that after a lot of thinking i dont want to have a man in my life right now because all my time is consumed by my child and it wouldnt b fair for me to take my free time to be with someone else....also i do not ever want my child t o feel like a third wheel if i have a new relationship with someone and we have a child its like she is left out and i dont want her to.ever feel that way....her dad is not in her life besides for occasional phone call or dinner once every few months.....so what i am having trouble deciding is am i crazy if i decide to have another child and stay siingle and raise. two children by myself and without a father figure?! help!

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Michelle - posted on 10/17/2012

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First of all you need to decide if you want your daughter to see and believe that being a single mom is the way to go when she is older the only way for her to know and understand what a healthy relationship is, is to watch you in one. She will not feel like a third wheel in your relationship if you find the right person who will love her like their own. My SO loves my son as if he were his and my son loves him in the same way. We have a child together and the only jealousy is actually from my daughter and it is because she is 3 and he is 11 and she wants to be just like him and can't cause she is to little. Make time for you to meet someone and fall in love show your daughter what a healthy happy relationship can look like and she will grow up knowing that mom is not going to be all alone when she leaves home.

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Ashley - posted on 10/17/2012

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I appreciate your comments and you make a very valid point I am just scared that if I was to have another relationship and she grows attached to him what happens if we don't work out....I am probably overthinking all of this but I don't want her to be hurt again in the sense that father figure is no longer in the picture....and this is something I have witnessed with a few diff people and no one realizes what that really does to a child..... intact I don't.....that may change things in their lives n the way they feel about others forever.....I might have to many what ifs but single parenting makes you think a lot lol

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