I am completly frustrated with my 5 year old. she doesnt listen and is very sassy!

Nicki - posted on 07/20/2009 ( 7 moms have responded )

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my daughter is very smart but acts stupid, you tell her to do something and she stares at you like she doesnt understand. She talks to me like a 15 year old little snob and I am soooo tired of it. Any suggestions on how to reel her back in?? Currently I am trying the grounding thing. She is grounded to her room and still comes out when ever she feels like it. I have spanked her and the doenst even seem to be working. Please HELP ME!!

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Heidi - posted on 07/20/2009

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I know it sounds crazy, but when my son starts getting sassy with me I tell him he is on timeout. Timeout not only from his things, but from me. I give him the silent treatment. He can't handle it. Most sass is an attention getter and when they get the attention be it good or bad they win. So by ignoring the sassy request, "Mom, get me some milk." My response is, " Excuse me. I don't think I heard you. How about mom may I please have some milk." After a few times of being ignored, he got the picture. He still needs a reminding from time to time, but this works whether we are in the car, in public (I hate being the crazy parent flipping out in public), or at home. In the car, I tell him whether it is for throwing a toy at me while driving or yelling or naughty behavior, "That's it. Your on timeout." and then I stop talking, turn the radio off, and wait for the apology. He's learned that it pays to behave. All he/she wants is attention, by reacting you are re-enforcing the bad behavior so she does it more. Jeremiah at four is responcible for his own dishes being put in the sink properly and washed, packing his own lunch, putting his dirty clothes in the laundry basket, and cleaning up his toys without being asked. If I ask once, and it isnt done, I ask him the mundane repetitive questions he HATES to hear. "Where do dirty clothes go?" His response, "In the laundry basket." He's gotten to the point when I ask, he says "I know mom. I'm just about to do it now." Repetition gets their attention. When all else fails, Good old fashion hot sauce does the trick. Not a lot. I touch the rim of the bottle to my finger and onto his lips, or gums it goes. As he is freaking out at the heat, i pour him a glass of milk, milk is a base and hot sauce an acid, they neutrilize one another. I ask him then has he learned his lesson. Once or twice with the hot sauce and when i even mention, "Do you need some hot sauce? " The answer is a resounding no mom, im sorry. I even carry a hot sauce packet from Taco Bell in my purse. One look at in when I get public sass or antics and he's back to being my angel. Good Luck. I just read one mom posting the countdown, 1, 2, 3. It works when it's followed by the punishment of one of my two solutions. I countdown from 5. 5-4-3-2-1. I use my hand as a visual aid. My friends thought it was funny until we were at a party when he started getting rowdy I put my hand up and just did the countdown with my hand, words arent even needed anymore. Show no signs of weakness. Our grandparents way of punishing seems harsh, but it worked. REAL LIFE EXPERIENCE. IT WORKS.

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Ginger - posted on 07/20/2009

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My son is 5 and he is into pretending he didn't hear me and talking back stage... And I call it a stage b/c I am hoping that's what it is. I tell him that if he gets sassy with me that I am not going to talk to him til it is made right and do just that. I don't respond to anything that he is saying until I see it worked. I haven't figured out how to get him to listen to me without asking several times yet. I have always seen parents doing the counting to 3 and have just started that and it's working without having a consiquince even in mind if I got to 3. I don't just ground him to his room I make him set on the bed until I say he can get up. And the spankings only seem to work from Daddy don't know why.

Audra - posted on 07/20/2009

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o i am right with you, my 4 year old does the same thing shes smart also, but her mouth and her comments omg. but see there are 2 teenagers that live here to so she picks up on that, and no matter what i do cant get her to stop, everyone tells me i spoil my kids that its my fault, im like its not,they say i dont dicipline them enough or at all, it is so frustrating, i feel your pain,but i have tried time out in the corner, so try that, my daughter hates it, once in a while she will have a smart comment like for how long and ill say till i want you out, but she hates it, but she will stay in there.

Darcy - posted on 07/20/2009

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Nicki - I hear you! My 5 year old is a sassy pants too, but I've noticed the more that I got upset about it, the sassier she became. I've gotten to the point where I haven't taken anything away, I don't ground her. I simply make compromises with her and praise her for when she doesn't act like a snoot. It's working slowly, but it's most defintely a chore for me to consistently remember not to get upset when she's snotty and praise her when she isn't. But it's working. Plus I give her more "big girl" privelages when she's not snotty and bring her back down to "little girl" status when she is snotty. I even had to post a chart on the fridge with a magnet that moves from little girl to big girl status and has a section where I write what she did that was on either category. It's a big job to keep up with, but it most definitely is worth it when you see the results!

Shari - posted on 07/20/2009

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I'm not sure what will work. I am always asking my mom for advice with my girls. She just tells me that you have to let the kids know that you are the boss and they aren't going to get their way by talking back and being sassy. It is frustrating.

Nicki - posted on 07/20/2009

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we have taken everything away from her including the t.v. She is just getting worse.

I also stopped letting her watch barbie, because thats where she got the sassyness and the attitude from..lol who would have thought you would have to take barbie away

Shari - posted on 07/20/2009

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My 6 yr is sassy sometimes too. She talks back and I have to tell her several times to do things. I take away things from her, like tv until she starts acting better. If she still continues she gets a spanking. If she talks back to me, I tell her that she will not talk to her mother that way and that she is not the boss. The most important thing is to be consistent. It is a never ending job, especially with all the tv shows telling our girls to talk back and be sassy.

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