I don't feel comfortable with my new OBGYN? :(

Fatima - posted on 08/05/2014 ( 3 moms have responded )




Hi! I'm having sort of a dilemma.
I'm 37 weeks and 4 days pregnant with my first baby (I'm 25 years old) and I got a new OBGYN at a private clinic about a month ago because I got a new health insurance plan. The problem is that I'm Muslim and the whole clinic is full of Jews.. I honestly did not care about that, though. For my first appointment I really liked it because the whole staff was nice, but I didn't meet my new doctor because she was away and saw the physician's assistant instead, who was really nice. But then this recent Israeli/Gaza conflict started and now I feel really uncomfortable there. It was very weird meeting my doctor for the first time last week because I felt like there was a huge elephant in the room. My husband, who is a white redhead with Jewish ancestry and a Jewish last name, couldn't come with me to my appointment because of work or else I would have felt comfortable with him being there. I haven't changed maiden name yet to my husband's so my last name is still an obvious Muslim name. When I went in with the doctor last week, she was nice, I suppose, but it was very uncomfortable.. kind of like "Hi, you're Jewish, I'm Muslim, we're supposed to hate eachother but here we are..." =[ I don't have a problem with Jews at all, or else I would have changed clinics after going there the first time and my husband has Jewish ancestry!
Also, when I saw my doctor last week, she asked "why did you choose this place? did someone refer you?" and also asked me what my ethnicity was and when I said Pakistani, she said that I must have grew up here because I don't sound like I'm Pakistani. Idk, I just felt weird. I have my appointment with her tomorrow again (second time meeting her) and I feel very uncomfortable. I would really like my husband to come with me but he can't because of work. Maybe I'm being paranoid? I don't think I want her to deliver my baby. Help!


View replies by

Sarah - posted on 08/14/2014




I'm not sure how your OB's office works but at mine, it was no guarantee that my OB (whom I love) would deliver my baby. Depends on when the baby comes an who's on call. I was fortunate that with both children she was the doc for that day, but it could have just as easily been someone else. Not sure if you are having a c section though, also, I must say that I didn't like the nurse and the nurse was more "involved" in the birthing process than my OB was. They do say that if the mother is uncomfortable or worried during labor, it usually last longer and is a harder delivery than if the mother is relaxed and comfortable with the staff. (My deliveries weren't that bad, but I think they would have gone better if that nurse would have shut up!) You being comfortable is important.
Also, your doc probably asked how you chose the place because you came in so late in your pregnancy. NOT because your Mulim and she's Jewish. They also have to ask race/ethnicity for their records, so that's not unusual either. what's the update? How the second meeting go? I hope it was good!

Tanya - posted on 08/12/2014




Seriously, you probably are not paranoid but ... but so late in your pregnancy to change doctors...I wouldn't she has followed you through all these months.

I mean she can't do anything to harm you...it's illegal...why would she hurt your child or you?

If it's bothering you so much why don't you speak to her about it next time you see her. Tell her you guys both know what's going on in the world today and tell her you kind of feel uncomfortable.

Plus what do you care what she thinks...

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms