I dont want to move to Japan!

Stephanie - posted on 03/03/2013 ( 3 moms have responded )

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My husband is in the military and he is being stationed in Japan for 3 years. We have 2 small children (21mo and 6mo) and I dont know if I want to move to Japan. I already moved to North Carolina when we got married and I havent had any friends or help from family of any kind since my kids were born. I always have a nagging feeling that I need to do something different with my life. I am usually unhappy even though I love my husband and my kids very much! But sometimes I want to be single and kid-free and see what I could have done with my life. I always feel like I was meant to be something, I thought that something was a mother, but now that I am a mother I still have that feeling of being more. All of my closest friends have moved and we rarely keep in touch leaving me with no friends and I have no hobbies. I am a stay at home mom because we cannot afford day care for me to go to work. Everyone thinks that military families have it made but we don't make much either! Our budget is tight which contributes to me not having any hobbies. My family is all in Florida and we will be stuck in Japan for 3 years with no way to see them during that time because of how expensive it is to travel between countries. I don't want to take my kids away from their father on purpose but I really don't want to go. I don't want to abandon my family either but I am very unhappy with my life. Anyone ever feel this way or have any advice on how to be happier?

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Anita - posted on 03/03/2013

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Personally if you do not want to move at all then you need to say that the reason why I say to tell your husband is because I do not think if you moved it will be a good idea for the 21 month old child. One children feel stress two children do not always understand change and your child will feel that and it will become harder to help them and raise them with lack of help. I know that moving would be the hardest for the marriage as well because its like if you dont move then you are not gonna work but if you do then you keep the family. You need sit down and write a list of pros and cons based on moving. Would it be cheaper? Would it be good for the family? Would it be something that benfits the relationship? and the list of questions can go on and on. I hope the best

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Jodi - posted on 03/03/2013

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Isn't this one of those things you guys discussed when you made the commitment to get married and have children?

Ndugga - posted on 03/03/2013

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Your husband should go alone,i think it willaa cheaper if he is the only one travelling back and forth every once in a while.
Anyway you should tell him how you feel and come up with a solution together

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