I feel like a failure for not breastfeeding

Megan - posted on 12/19/2012 ( 2 moms have responded )

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I feel like such a failure. I had it planned to breastfeed exclusively for 6 months and then start to work solids in slowly until my LO is a year.

Well, after feeling incredibly sick, run-down and in excruciating pain for 3 weeks, I found out that what I thought was mastitis was actually an abscess. My doctor recommended that I stop breastfeeding for the time being so I do not pass the bacteria onto my baby. I am too scared to keep breastfeeding anyways. I feel so guilty because I know it is the best thing for my daughter. But I just can NOT go through that pain and agony again.

Has anyone else felt this guilt from stopping breastfeeding? If so, how long did the guilt take to go away?

2 Comments

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Kayla - posted on 12/19/2012

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I was absolutely devastated when I couldn't breastfeed my son. I felt like I was a failure as well. I remember thinking, "this is a natural way to feed my baby...women have been doing this since the beginning of time...what is wrong with me that I can't...I am an awful mother". I do believe the guilt was so deep that it attributed to my postpartum depression.
You CANNOT hold this guilt. I know the physical pain you experienced with it. I would cry so hard every time I fed him. Think, feeding is the time when a mother bonds with her child. What message are we giving our baby if we are crying and writhing in pain every time it is time to feed them? The time should be serene, quiet, and loving.
You making that decision is going to help you be happier, and in turn, a better mother. You have to take care of yourself if you are going to be strong enough to care for your baby as they deserve.
HUGS MAMA.

Toni - posted on 12/19/2012

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I know it is tough to stop breastfeeding before you wanted to.
I was the same, I wanted to breastfeed exclusively for 6 months, then work in solids.
I had to stop breastfeeding after 6 weeks because for some reason I just wasnt producing milk. What was coming out of my breasts looked watery and slightly green.
I started my son on formula as soon as I noticed this and I am glad I did. It turned out I had an infection.

Try to think of it this way, how much worse would you feel if your newborn had of gotten an infection from you?

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