I have three kids, and I need some ideas on how to get them to listen better and obey better. . .

Nicole - posted on 07/21/2009 ( 13 moms have responded )

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I have a 5, 4, and 2 year old children. They can be really well behaved, but sometimes they will not listen to me for anything. It drives me crazy. What can I do to get them to listen better?

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Mommasabe04 - posted on 07/21/2009

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Spare the rod spoil the child... they will act out to test you and see who can get mommys attention, weather i be positive or negitive. Just try stay calm when correcting if they see u control ur emotions they too will learn too its a long process but it works... i can recomend a book thats really awesome.. Sheperding your Childs Heart. Its lays it all out for you. good luck

Tara - posted on 07/21/2009

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Well I can relate I have a 5 year old boy an almost four year old girl and a 14mth old girl. I am always driven up the wall at least a handful of times every single day. The littlest one is not really an issue (yet) ;) Its the sibling fights and competitiveness between the first two kids.. they are only 18mths apart. They have a really hard time listening sometimes. I tend to agree with Carly your first post about ignoring the negative and rewarding the positive. The 5 and 4 year old are old enough for a reward chart. You can get a dry erase board and put down things that they have a hard time listening with... ie.) going to bed on time, cleaning up there toys, or behaving at the store... then everytime they do go to bed on time etc. you put a star or a smiley face next to there name. Once they get 10 they get a toy (it can be cheap from the dollar tree or a king size candy bar etc) once they get the hang of it extend the challenge to 15 stars, 20 stars and so on! This chart theory really only works as long as you are 100% consistant.. hope this helps good luck!!!

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Daniela - posted on 07/23/2009

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I do reward my kids (2 and 3) with little stars when they are really doing good. When they have enough stars they´ll have something special. That works pretty good. And if they don´t behave I´ll sit them on a chair and they´ll have to sit there for 5 minutes with no toys, no one to talk to or play with. As long as I´m consequent it´ll work out pretty good.

CJ - posted on 07/22/2009

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The most important thing is consistancy, if you let it slide once, they will think they can get away with it again. Also, different kids react differently to different discipline. For example, my brother hated being put in timeout or sent to his room, or being grounded. But It did nothing for me, because I didn't mind entertaining myself. Also, most kids react better to positive reinforcement than to negative consequences. The more they are rewarded for being good, they better they will be.

Rhonda - posted on 07/22/2009

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I only have one who is three.......shes a sweet heart but can make us loose our minds more than half the time.......i had to start spanking on the butt with my hand...at first i felt guilty but honestly now just warning her of a spanking gets her attention...and yes i had tried everything else b4 i resorted to the spankings....and also explain to your child why they are getting "punished" so they know not to do whatever it is that they've done...sorry one more thing remember they are young their job is to drive you crazy lol

Nicole - posted on 07/22/2009

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I agree with all of you about the spanking children. I have done it with my own children, but that doesn't seem to work so I gave it up. It is not a good punishment if the problem doesn't get fixed after words. To anette, I hope that things get better for you. I wish I had some advise... but i am in the same situation with rebellious children. From what others had advised me on this starin, I am going to try and implenment a reward system That they get a start on a chart when they have obeyed the entire day. After they get 20 stars, we will take them to McDonalds for ice cream cones. Good luck to you in raising your children alone. I hope that they grow up to be wonderful young men who are thankful for the sacrifices that you have to amke to raise them!

Anette - posted on 07/22/2009

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I also have three boys aged the same age as yours. Gerduan is 5, Leander is 4 and baby Zian is 2. I have the same problem and being a single mother just isn't a joke. I love them and want them to grow up being the greatest but at this stage they are rebelious and refuse any authority and spanking them is at the bottom of my list as I feel they are suffering anoung with things being the way they are. Dadday admitted to having a VERY younger (child) woman, as he would call her, in his life and because of this they refuse to go there as they say he has a new "wife" and he ain't their daddy anymore and that's without me saying anything. We went to a Child Advocate who referred as to a therapist whom they told this to. I wasn't present when this came out and I took this as quite a shock as just a week before this happened daddy was their hero. I hae no male friend in my life currently and Im not mplnning on getting one soon - if every - because once I again I think they are confused enough at this stage. I am open for any advise.

Yvette - posted on 07/22/2009

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does no one believe in a good spanking anymore? its not abuse if you explain to the kid what they did. its rediculous parents bribe their kids and give in just to have a happy kid. i wasnt beaten or harshly punished growing up but when my parents saw fit theyd give us a good one, which was seldom. personally, the government isnt raising our kids so they shoulddnt correct or punish us for how we discipline and raise our kids. its blunt but dont be so passive for you childs happiness, your happiness leads to your childs happiness. they wont like it now but one day they might thak you.

Nicole - posted on 07/22/2009

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Thanks everyone for your comments. . .We are going to implement a reward system beyond their current allowances to see if that will haelp. Thanks again for your help!

Shaina - posted on 07/22/2009

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I have 2 , 7 year olds one of which has ADHD and a 4 year old. We have found that making a rule chart and have the kids come up with house rules and the consequences to them. We started this when my little one was 2. Write it up on a poster and post it somewhere the kids can see it. They probably cant read at this point but, just seeing the poster will jog their memories into remembering what they did. Point of advice only write up 3-5 simplistic but important rules.

Alleah - posted on 07/22/2009

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lol, ashley, while I agree with you about spanking within limits being fine, I also have to mention--I DEFINITELY did not appreciate it when I was a kid!!!



Anyway, I watched my sister's kids grow up, and the only thing that would stop that kind of behavior when they were that age (the rivalry game) was separating them. Watch them like a hawk when they're together, or you'll never get the whole story when they have a disagreement about something it's always 'he did this' or 'she did that' and usually little of it is true.

Ashley - posted on 07/21/2009

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That is normal. I think the best thing is to nip it in the bud now, if you wait too long, it will get worse. Start timeouts, if they act out at the grocery store, leave them with a sitter or family member and let them kids know why the are not going with you. Alot of people do not believe in spanking anymore but I think that it is fine. As long as its not taken to far. I think if more parents spanked their children they wouldn't have so many problems when they are older. Plus your kids will appreciate it because you loved them enough to want them to turn out to be respectable and successful people.

Carly - posted on 07/21/2009

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Ignore the negative, reward the positive. At this age they love to please you so just a big hug and a "good job" should help.

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