I'm a single mom.... and I want another baby... HELP

Briana - posted on 05/20/2012 ( 11 moms have responded )

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I am 25 years old and have 2 amazing children a daughter that is almost 6 years old and a son that is 18 months... I have been divorced for 4 years now, and have not had much luck in the dating area. I have ALOT of friends right now that are pregnant... It's hard for me to be happy for them because I am so jealous and I want another baby. I have thought of many options to have another baby. But I am LDS(mormon) and want to do that right thing and wait for mr right to come marry me and give me a third child... But waiting for him seems to be never ending... Does any one have any suggestions on how to help me accept the fact that I'm not going to have another baby anytime soon...

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Corinne - posted on 05/23/2012

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I'm actually about half an hour away from Oswego :) I know what you mean about finding friends... I don't agree with some of the big no-no's the church lays out and am either avoided because of it or looked at as a missionary project. I know that I'm trying my best though and I don' think Heavenly Father will look at me any differently because I have a couple tattoos and peircings. I do enjoy smoking pot every now and then but with the challenging bipolar and anxiety issues he's given me I think he'll understand me wanting a little relaxation. I wish I could find more happy medium people like you here though.

Briana - posted on 05/22/2012

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I wont go to the singles ward only because my daughter loves primary so much and the two single wards I know about have a total of 4-6 kids in the whole primary... I don;t want to take her away from her friends. I went once while I was pregnant with my son, you couldn't tell i was pregnant at the time... and it was either kids about to go on missions or peter priesthood that just came home from there missions. I definitely can't handle mr peter priesthood that is not for me... I just recently got my endowments last year and I think I made that choice too soon. I don't necessarily know if I could handle a lds guy that is 100% lds cause I am not... I struggle with alcohol. But no one is perfect right but I still attend church every sunday and still have the same faith and beliefs as every one else. Man I wish u lived closer you seem like some one I could really relate with and its hard to find good friends especially that are mormon and not judging... I have lost alot of good friends to due me not being "molly mormon". I have some family that lives in Illinois, I have a aunt in Bolingbrook, a cousin in Chicago and a cousin in Oswego.

Corinne - posted on 05/22/2012

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I know the community college around here has programs that will pay for child care while you go to school... might be worth looking into. Even if you're just doing part time it would be a good option; more education is always the way to go haha.
If not extra activities are a great way to meet guys too, they already have experience with kids that way :) Have you thought about singles ward? I personally don't like it because I'm one to take the teachings as guidelines not instructions if that makes sense and the majority of guys there don't find that appealingg.

Briana - posted on 05/21/2012

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I do not have much of a education just high school. I have been thinking about going to school but there are soooo many problems that lye with that. If I'm not at work I have my kids 24/7... So there lies the issue of my parents having to watch them and they both have full time jobs. I could leave my son in day care longer but then the price of daycare will double and I can barely afford to pay them as it is... I work at a local casino here in town not the best job ever but I manage to support my kids on my own with out help of anyone including the government. I enrolled my kids in some extra activities such as swimming lessons and karate. I did meet a single dad in swimming class were actually dating right now... I don't see it going anywhere tho... He is much younger then me and does not want anything serious at this point of his life. He's just a good guy friend to fill the void of not having a guy around for so long.

Corinne - posted on 05/21/2012

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No, I'm in Illinois. My bishop and his wife were the main couple I babysat for in high school and I was so scared to talk to him because I didn't want to lose his trust but I finally went in to talk to him and he knew I was struggling with addiction but still trusted me to watch his kids. I feel like they have the ability to set aside personal relations aside to help however they can. Idk how it would work out to be friends with him though; could really go either way haha.
I think your plan for the next two years is good... I was thinking of starting school or something to find a guy that I could connect with. Is that an option or are you set in a career?

Briana - posted on 05/21/2012

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I have told my self if by the time I am 27 and I am still single I will adopt by myself, no matter how much it will cost me...

Briana - posted on 05/21/2012

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The problem about talking to my bishop about certain things I guess you could say is that he is a good friend of mine... Which you wouldn't think would be a bad thing but when it comes to these types of things it really is... Me and you seem to have very similar situations. Got divorced after one kid and then sperm doner second of a dad second kid... But I just haven't found my guy yet I know he is out there just hasn't found me yet. Do you live in Nevada? And I am on plentyoffish ahaha...

Corinne - posted on 05/21/2012

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My fiance and I met on plentyoffish.com haha. I have a 20 month old daughter with my ex husband, and 7 months pregnant from an opps moment but my fiance is taking over as daddy for both. I honestly don't see anything wrong with adoption; you sound like a great parent who can give a baby a wonderful life even if it's alone for a while. It could kind of be a tie too... it won't be your future husbands biological child or yours :)
When me and my fiance started dating I was ready to give up and just be alone for the rest of my life. I think that's the only time you can really find that special someone; when you're content with how your life is for the moment. Yea, there are thing you want in the future, but letting them fall into place the way they were supposed to instead of forcing it to happen is the only way I've heard of people finding true happiness.
Maybe talk to your bishop about how you're feeling... mine is very good at giving advice and pointing me in the right direction.

Briana - posted on 05/21/2012

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That's funny I am on just about every dating website you can think of including the mormon ones.
I have thought about adoption and about going to the sperm bank and having sperm injected in me... But I know thats not the right way, I am just getting impatient I guess would be the word. Both of my kids have different fathers and I really don't want to have 3 kids and 3 separate baby daddies but I guess i don't have much of a choice if I want more children... And does your fiance have any single brothers? HAHA...

Corinne - posted on 05/21/2012

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Sounds like you have a bad case of baby fever :) When I was going through my divorce I went through a stage where I kind of freaked out that I was going to be alone forever and joined every dating sight you could think of and went a little crazy with it. It didn't go anywhere. I came to terms with it, focused on other things and my wonderful fiance came into my life. HF has a plan for you, just be patient and focus on getting your life ready for a new husband and baby. Easier said than done, I know, but it really does work. I'm also LDS, glad I clicked on your post!
If you really don't see Mr. Right coming soon adoption is such a great option if that's in you're budget.

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