I'm afraid of Daycare

Crystal - posted on 07/09/2009 ( 17 moms have responded )

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My Daughter is 3 months old now. She is such an incredible joy to my life. I am a complete worrier. I am a working mom, I don't like it, but I have to do it. I have a pretty good job. We have been using a big daycare service since I had to return to work about a month and a half ago. My daughter has been sick way too many times, in such a short time. I have to miss work and pay daycare (which costs a small fortune). My fiance's cousing is a stay at home mom with two kids and she has offered to watch our daughter. We haven't used her because I don't know her that well. I also need someone to be consistent. We talked it over and decided that it would be best to reduce our daughters exposure to other children, she'll be healthier if we use his cousin. I am terrified though. I keep running all these terrible scenarios through my mind. My imagination gets the best of me, rationally, I belive she'll do alright. I can't handle if anything really serious happens to my daughter. I worry because she is so little and completely dependant on her caregiver. I guess I could use some words of encouragement from other mom's who have had to leave their small children in the care of others.

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Angie - posted on 07/17/2009

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Sheena Sullivan,
"I am proud of the parents going out there working instead of sitting home living off the state! Its nice to see working honest parents dropping their child off at the daycare!"
Sorry maybe I'm mistaken...but your not referring to everyone that stays at home are you??? If you are, then that is a sad statement. Not trying to pick on you...maybe its a misunderstanding... :)

Angie - posted on 07/17/2009

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Let me get this straight, you would rather take your daughter to a daycare where there are a lot strangers in and out of that facility. Granted they probably get background checks and its very safe (Not all daycares use background checks). But knowing that my daughter is with family, would make it a lot different. If you don't know her that well...that would be easily solved with a quick call or dinner plans.
My personal opinion, I would much rather have a relaxed home atmosphere, than to take my child to a daycare where she doesn't have a lot of attention. Also watch her with her kids, I'm sure she absolutely love to watch your child.

Emily - posted on 07/15/2009

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my daughter started daycare at 6mths old n was also constantly sick...n ov course i was constantly worried as she has always been such a outgoing little girl. i used to recieve countless phone calls to go n pick her up because she was sick and found the whole experience of leaving her there really stressful.She also used to scream blue murder when i left n by the time i walked out i was in tears.Finally i had enough,took a short break from work took her out ov the centre n found my solution...FAMILY DAYCARE!! i found a wonderful lady not far from home n my daughter settled in really well. there is only 4 kids there on her day n she and me have both been so relaxed since she started! no more phone calls, no more stressing out and no more tantrums when i leave her....i have found this a wonderful solution and am so happy i made the change. she is now a happy 2yr old and stil goes there...i love knowing she is happy n it makes my day so much easier!

LaCi - posted on 07/15/2009

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I haven't gone back to work yet. I lucked out and my boyfriends mother retired right after I got pregnant, So now that I'm starting school again She is able to watch my kiddo while He's working and I'm stuck in class. Although mine just turned a year old.

I SHOULD have gone back to work, but my boyfriend was also afraid of daycare so we dealt with being completely broke over the past year. I agree with him, daycare is just too scary. I'm all for going with family members, even if you don't know her that well, surely he does? If he trusts her but you are still concerned, why not hang out with her for a while beforehand? Maybe you guys could have playdates for a couple weeks, get to know eachother.

Kylie - posted on 07/15/2009

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Hello ive worked in daycare for 5 years now children/babies will get sick for a while just until they build up their immune system.. im a mother to a almost 3month old and i now its scary having such a little one in daycare but they do learn skills there like fine motor and gross motor skills(like holding things playing on equipment etc) i will be sending my son to daycare soon just get to know her carers she will grow up with children her age and bond with children which could turn out to best friends , if ur concerned talk to her carers about it hopefully this helps

Stephanie - posted on 07/11/2009

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I personally perfer the Chain Day care as opposed to an in home care. The Day cares are monitored by the state as well as there are many other people around to assist if one of the teacher needs a break. (Like we all do). I took my son out of a day care facility because it was too expensive and placed him in an in home facility and he ended up with his leg broken in 3 places when I picked huim up one day. The Day care lady is not admitting to anything happening. If he had been at an actual child care then someone else would have seen something.

I would stick with the actual Day care.. not go to in home. In my personal opinion it is worth the differnce in cost.

Samantha - posted on 07/10/2009

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you said you are nervous about using your cousin because you dont know her that well, and thats totally understandable, but how well did you know the daycare workers when you left your daughter in their care? i think having someone come watch your daughter in your home may be a good option also. it may be less expensive and you know your daughter will be safe and in her own environment. i know a lot of moms out there 'have to work' but if you have 2 incomes, there are ways you can manage to stay home with your daughter. face it, no one can care for your daughter the way you can, and no one will love her the way you do. i left my job after having my daughter, and believe me, we are broke as hell lol, but i wouldnt trade it for the world. cut back on expenses like cell phones, cable, internet, you know, things you dont really need. live on the basics. god will always provide. and you will NEVER regret staying home with your daughter, but you will regret not being there for all of her 'firsts'

Sheena - posted on 07/10/2009

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I worked in daycares for the past 6 years with infants! There are sooooo many mom and dads who have to leave their babys with us at such a young age. Some people dont agree with it & some HAVE TO its not a choice. I am proud of the parents going out there working instead of sitting home living off the state! Its nice to see working honest parents dropping their child off at the daycare! Dont worry about it. Kids in daycare learn faster because they pick up from the other children! About the sickness part, my son was going to my daycare too but he was getting sick allllllll the time so i finally quit my job - luckily my boyfriend (his dad) has an awesome job and i can stay home now but it is good for kids to get sick from their infant - toddler years because they wont be as sick as they get older! Its up to you, what do you believe from your heart? a mommy knows best! Also, i know it sucks having to pay for daycare even when your kid doesnt go - i think that is COMPLETELY ridiculous!!! Do whatever you feel is best for your little angel! :) good luck!!!

Alisha - posted on 07/10/2009

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The only thing I can say is to talk to the cousin and explain all of your concerns and write all of them down so you don't forget any and worry later. I used to do that but with talking to the person and make some scenarios and ask her to respond the way she would handle things to make sure that you will feel better that your daughter is in safe hands.

Jackie - posted on 07/10/2009

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I understand how you feel about daycare the first time i had to drop my daughter off at daycare i cried, but i didn't have a choice. I put her in daycare at 3 months it was a large family daycare and she did get sick a couple times in the 3 months that she was there, but i knew that she was taken care of. I had to move her to a different daycare when she was 6 months cause the lady didn't have room for her. I really love where she is going now she had just opened up her daycare, but she's really nice and my daughter is the only baby she takes care of right now. On occasion she takes care of another child, but most of the time its just my daughter. When i was looking for daycares i just went with my gut feeling. If you have a bad feeling about leaving your child with the cousin then i wouldn't do it.

Jamie - posted on 07/10/2009

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i think its ok to send them to daycare. They are going to catch this stuff anywhere not just at daycare. And if his cousin has any school age kids they are just going to bring it home. I understand the cost though. is his cousin willing to watch your child when sick and also not charge you when shes not there. Other wise your in the same spot you are now. Also, i dont think its fair to the cousin if you leave a sick kid with her to get her kids sick.

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I used a family member that stayed home with her kids when I had my first baby. She was extremely unreliable. She had two kids and watched a couple of others. She told me Wednesday that she would be going out of town the following WEEK. Um......how was I supposed to schedule that? She did this to me on several occasions. Sometimes a week, sometimes a day or two. I dropped in on them a few times a week. Every time I did, my baby was in the swing. EVERY time. She was never out of that thing. I had to pull her out of there and put her into a day care. She was indeed sick a lot, but it gave me peace of mind knowing that I had a reliable place for her to go, and she would NOT be stuck in a swing all day. I happened to find a really great Day Care that I feel very comfortable with. Got lucky there.

Amber - posted on 07/10/2009

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I was always very leary about daycare and was going to send my children to a large center recently when it came down to needing care. Then I saw an ad in the paper for a liscenced daycare out of a woman's home. I called and met her. I still wasn't sure if I should go with the larger center or her. But after weighing all the pros and cons, sickness and germs at the larger center, versus her home that was very very clean. We hit it off right away and after thinking about it I decided I would try her out. They started there a little over am month ago, have never been sick or gotten hurt, and she is very very flexible with me. I got lucky with a home provider, I would look around to get to know the cousin a little better to feel more comfortable! Hope this helps

Rhonda - posted on 07/09/2009

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y dont u try 2 get 2 no her betta. u can go 4 a pop and visit or u can have play date with da kids even tho ur babe is very yung it can still help 2 ease ur mind and tlk 2 ur husband 2 c how he feel about da cousin. trust ur gut tho. u no da best for yer babe. maybe it is 2 soon to go back to work hav u look into extended leve

Kate CP - posted on 07/09/2009

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I'd be more comfortable with one woman watching 3 kids than 2 women watching 30.

Tara - posted on 07/09/2009

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I know how much day care costs and it is horrible. My opinion to you is to try and talk to everyone that knows the cousin and get some feed back about her. I do not trust big day cares w my children, not this day and age and the way the germs spread ne more and all the viruses there are now. All I know is that I do not trust any with my children, I am always having bad things run thru my head when i think about sending my kids somewhere like that. Whatever choice u make it will b the right choice, but always make sure to ask questions about the person or persons caring for your child

Jen - posted on 07/09/2009

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My daughter started day care at 4 months of age. It is completely normal for babies to get sick constantly when they start day care. It actually helps build their immune system for when they get older and are in school. It sucks that we still have to pay for the day care when they are not there, but believe me they do start getting less sick. I think I was called 4 or 5 times in the first few months to come get my daughter for having a fever. Now I can't even remember the last time I was called and she's been in day care for 15 months now.



As for leaving her with your fiance's cousin. If you don't know her that well you can ask her to come over to your home and watch the baby while you are there. That way you can observe her techniques and parenting style and get to know her a little better. We did it with my best friend when she wanted to babysit. We had a trial run in our house with us home and it worked out really well. It put my husband's mind at ease knowing that he could see how she would handle changing the baby's diaper and playing with her and what not.



I know it's scary leaving your baby all day with someone else, but you know in your heart what option works best for you. Your baby will also give you signs to let you know whether she is being cared for properly. If it's somewhere she doesn't want to be she will consistently cry when you drop her off. The signs will be there is it's not a good situation. I'm sure everything will turn out ok. Good luck. :)

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