I'm always depressed, I need advice.

Jessica - posted on 06/18/2013 ( 5 moms have responded )

12

0

2

I never want to get out of bed anymore and constantly want to throw up. Also I'm trying to move to a healthier environment so I can get a job to pay rent and raise my baby but whenever I want to talk to my boyfriend he'll just say that he's busy or doesn't want to talk and he'll just sit around playing video games all day rather than finding a job. He makes me so PISSED and expects me to cook for him or get him food whenever he wants and i cant always get up and if I tell him I'm feeling sick he doesn't seem to care he'll just keep asking over and over like he didnt hear me. I want to make things work out but the way they are I'm not sure i can do this anymore. Sometimes I consider abortion but I know I couldn't live with myself if I went through with it. I'm always upset and crying and I'm extremely unmotivated. I feel really stuck and I don't know what to do anymore. Ever since I moved in with my bf of 4 years things just seemed to go downhill and now that we're having a baby you think he'd step up but I have yet to even see that happen. I'm just really upset and jumbled I can't sleep and I'm afraid I'm gonna end up losing the baby because of the stress. What should I do I can't take care of the baby alone I've told him if he didnt step up I would leave without hesitation but obviously that's easier said than done..are my expectations too high or something? Don't I deserve more respect and someone who'll take care of me?! I don't get to vent like this EVER! I've reached the boiling point

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Anna - posted on 06/18/2013

1

0

0

I was in that same situation with my first daughter and her father. If he isn't showing signs of trying then I promise you no matter how hard it is for you its best to get on your own feet now. Idk if u have family or what but I had no one just my bf and he never had a job, played Xbox all the time and not once showed care or compassion for me. My biggest mistake was staying with him throughout my pregnancy. Our relationship was toxic and had me deeply depressed to the point where u are now. I even was suicidal but thank God I didn't hurt myself. Its always best to think "I am this baby's mama. I am all it needs. I will make it work for me and my baby. No matter what or who gets in the way." Good luck mama. Is you ever need anything don't feel embarrassed or ashamed to ask for help.

5 Comments

View replies by

Denikka - posted on 06/18/2013

2,160

5

749

I totally agree with the others. One day he MIGHT grow up and take on his proper responsibilities, but that can easily be 10+years in the future, and you should be LONG gone and living your own productive, stable life.
You do sound genuinely depressed and medication can definitely get you back on an even keel. I've lived with depression for the past 15 years of my life and recently had to go on medication. I was just non function and couldn't cope anymore. It was the first time I've ever been on meds and it made a world of difference for me. I've been off it for about a week now, but only because I'm due to deliver soon and there's a small chance that it could cause complications. I plan on seeing how I feel after I give birth and see if going back on is something that I need to do.

I think you need to get out there on your own, dump the idiot who doesn't know what he's got. It'll be a lot easier to do it now than to do it in a couple of years. Babies are a lot more flexible with their schedule than toddlers and older kids. Not to mention that it's MUCh easier to couch hop (if you HAVE to) with babies rather than toddlers. And babies aren't going to be asking those awkward questions that you don't know how to answer about why you don't live with daddy any more.

Talk to him first, let him know exactly what's going on with you and how you're feeling. Try to avoid just blaming him, that'll only lead to an argument. But be straight with him. And lay out an ultimatum. Give him a certain amount of time, maybe a month, to show you some real effort. If he doesn't own up and start being responsible, leave and do what you have to do. There are lots of programs out there that can offer help to young moms. Find out your option and work with them :)

Chantal - posted on 06/18/2013

121

0

29

It seems that so many younger men are shying away from their responsibilities. I am sorry to hear that this has happened to you. Your doctor may be able to give you a mild anti depressant to help "lift the fog" so you can start to function normally and set up a life for you and your baby. Honestly, it is easier to be a single mom than a stressed out mess because your baby daddy is behaving poorly. You don't need to raise two kids! All your energy is better spent on yourself and your baby when he/she comes. Good luck honey!

Jessica - posted on 06/18/2013

12

0

2

Thank you so much Anna honestly I really needed someone who was in the same position to give me insight on their experiences, I've accepted that I'm the one who's going to have to raise the baby I just don't like the circumstances I'm in and I really need help I'm looking for jobs and ways to save money it's just really hard when I'm not getting the support I was promised, this is the best advice I've gotten thank you for being understanding I haven't opened up to anyone about how I feel because everyone just seems to judge and give me negative feedback and it really breaks me down I just hate how men are now a days..what ever happened to gentlemen who work hard and treat a lady like queens especially when their pregnant. But I'm glad I had you to share your story

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms