I'm Having Trouble With My Two Year Old...HELP!!! :(

Kristina - posted on 04/16/2013 ( 4 moms have responded )

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First off, I am a 23 year old stay at home mom to a wonderful 2 year old boy and am also currently 17 weeks pregnant with my second child, now I'm not 100% positive that this this pregnancy has been the result of but lately I am deeply sadden to feel like I am losing control over my son and my household. My son has become ever so much more rough with me (pulling hair, biting, scratching, etc.) He has always been a screamer but now it is more often then ever and has suddenly his tantrums have taken 1000 point turn for the worse. He also deliberately ignores ALL of my requests. Bed time is a constantand every day battle. I often go to bed crying because I often feel that I am at my wits end. When trying to gain help from my husband he simply puts on the tv and goes to bed (he says he's able to fall asleep with the tv on, which actually has the opposite effect). My husband has a new work shift that has him up at 3 o'clock in the morning so he pretty much leaves me to stay up all night with our son (even on his nights off). I just needs some pointers on a few things: gain control back into being an affective parent, gaining support from my husband with our son, and learn how to feel like I'm doing everything wrong and when I just want to throw in the towel? I am open to all means of critizism, critical and straight to the point....PLEASE HELP...I JUST DON'T KNOW HOW TO FIX MY LIFE!!!

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Christina - posted on 04/16/2013

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I had my second daughter when my first daughter was 22 months old. My oldest was kind of a stubborn and independent girl from the beginning but with only her to deal with, I was able to keep things under control. (at least as much as you can at that age) From about 10 months she already started throwing tantrums! Anyway, our second daughter was born and things were pretty normal, my oldest seemed to be doing ok. Then, about 2 months later, all hell broke loose! She started throwing screaming tantrums about EVERYTHING. Crying for a bottle and carrying on for hours (and yes, I mean hours). She never hit me but would try to attack the baby every chance she could. I could not leave her alone with the baby at all! If I took her out in public to spend one on one time with her, she was terrible and would throw tantrums. She was also very rude with other children. She never listened to anything I said and would often do the opposite. I cried every day to get some relief. Here is what worked for me, because now, at 3 1/2 years old, she is still very active but listens fairly well, is a great big sister and is very well behaved in social surroundings!

First of all, I started implementing the "1,2,3 Magic" time out trick. My friend swore by it! So before, I would threaten and threaten but never follow through. So, every time she decided to misbehave, I gave her a firm warning that if she didn't listen I would start counting. Of course she didn't listen. So I would say "1". Give her about 5 seconds and if she continued, I would say "2". 5 seconds later I would say "3" and immediately she would get a time out. The 5 seconds in between gives them the chance to make a good choice. So, then I firmly tell her why she was getting a time out and she would sit there for about a minute. Then I would go to her, ask her to say sorry and give a hug. It takes time and consistency but I can say that I haven't had to get to "3" in a long time!

As far as tantrums go, my philosophy is to completely ignore them. I tell her once whatever it is that she cannot have and if she starts to throw a fit, I walk away and ignore her. They eventually realize that screaming gets no reaction out of you.

Bedtime has kinda always been a bit different for us, so I don't have any pointers there. We have always chosen to co-sleep with our kids, so we always have had the routine of laying down with them without it bothering us or making it a battle with them. I'm sure everyone would tell you though that, like everything else, consistency is key.

I don't really have any hubby advice....my husband is pretty good about things. Maybe someone else can relate to you on how to change that :)

Good luck and be happy the little one is still safe inside you! That would only add to the stress :) LOL

Shauna - posted on 04/16/2013

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Well, I am going to start off by saying congrats on being pregnant. Second off you need to tell your husband to get off his ass and help you. Your son is not only yours but your husbands too and he needs to understand that taking care of a child is hard to do especially when you are pregnant and it doesn't matter how far along you are. Third of all the way that your son is behaving is natural. It is 2 year old behavior and that is why it is called the terrible 2's. It does get better I promise. You need to take time for yourself. Have a friend or family member watch your son if your husband won't and take time for yourself.

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Kristina - posted on 04/16/2013

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I would like to direct a SUPER HUGE THANK YOU SO MUCH to any and all mothers that respond to my post. I'm so glad to know that if I have any problems or concerns of being a mother, I can come here and gain advice and support from other mothers. It feels good to know that when I have days when I feel like I'm failing and not doing things right, that I can have other mothers point and direct me in the right direction. The social pat on the back or heartfelt words of honesty definitely are great to read especially when I'm having a rough day with my child.
Many Thanks Again To All Mothers :)

Kristina - posted on 04/16/2013

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I would like to direct a SUPER HUGE THANK YOU SO MUCH to any and all mothers that respond to my post. I'm so glad to know that if I have any problems or concerns of being a mother, I can come here and gain advice and support from other mothers. It feels good to know that when I have days when I feel like I'm failing and not doing things right, that I can have other mothers point and direct me in the right direction. The social pat on the back or heartfelt words of honesty definitely are great to read especially when I'm having a rough day with my child.
Many Thanks Again To All Mothers :)

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