I'm scared I wont be able to bare the pain of childbirth, Help!?

Steffanie - posted on 04/05/2013 ( 20 moms have responded )

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Hello ! I'll be 20 in a week and i'm pregnant. My main concern this point is I won't be able to bare the pain of chilldbirth. I know young teens do all of the time, but i'm 120 pounds right now (mind you im only 5 weeks) but im tall, so I know i'm underweight, But i'm terrified about this,I just cant shake this feeling, I'm getting worked up, Help? :(

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KeRashawn - posted on 05/19/2013

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You are not alone, I was 18 when I got pregnant and gave birth at age 19. I can say for it being my first pregnancy, it was a WONDERFUL experience. I was going to the Dr and every time I was measured, I was 2 weeks over. So, I knew first hand she was going to be really BIG. I decided to get induced the day I made 39 weeks. I went into the hospital at 9pm that night, received medicine to thinning out my cervix, and before you knew it, I was jumping centimeters. I went 1cm,2cm,3cm,then 5cm, then 7cm, then 10cm. I gave birth the next day at 5:55pm the following day. I had NO complications, and had the best delivery ever. I also slept til about 5cm. Which was mostly because the hospital I was at was all about making the patient as comfortable as possible so when I made 2cm I asked for morphine. Because my baby was big, I could feel every inch of movement. But she was 8lbs 5.9oz. and I couldn't have done it better. I HAD A WONDERFUL EXPERIENCE.

Denikka - posted on 04/05/2013

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You have TONS of pain management options :) Everything from hypnosis, massage, etc right through to actual pain drugs and epidurals. An epidural should pretty much numb you completely from the waist down. All you would feel is pressure, but there should be no pain.

You need to talk to your doctor about your pain management options. I would personally recommend starting out with the least (try natural with breathing techniques, etc) and leaving the option open to work up to more pain management, ending with the epidural. You'll need to talk to your doctor about what the steps could be, so there's an understanding of what drugs you will be able to take without it interfering with the potential next step.

Other than that, there are many options for labor. You don't just have to stay laying on your back from start to finish. Many women choose to walk during early labor and they feel it helps. There's also bouncing on an exercise ball and a bunch of other things. If it's offered, you may also be able to labor in a bathtub and many women find this to be extremely helpful, myself included.
You also don't have to deliver on your back. Many women find that being in a squatting position helps them. You could also try kneeling, on your side, etc. Find what makes you comfortable.

And lastly, this is one of those things that you just do. However you end up doing it, with pain meds or without, in one position or another, c-section or vaginal birth....once the process starts and baby wants out, baby is coming out no matter what :P If you chicken out on the pushing (I did for the first few minutes!! Both times and I'll probably do it again this time. with my third child :P ), it will just prolong the experience. Trust me. I know how scary it is (both deliveries, I kept telling everyone in the room that I changed my mind, didn't want to do this anymore, was scared, etc). But it is SO much better to just bear down and get it over with. You'll have your beautiful baby in your arms that much sooner :)

You may want to look into getting a midwife instead of a doctor though. Midwives are basically birth specialists (kind of like how a brain surgeon, optometrist, dentists, etc are specialists in their medical field). Midwives tend to be more encouraging and able to cope with non tradition birth methods (like water births (Highly encourage if your hospital allows this) or alternate pain management (aka anything other than drugs). You can still deliver in a hospital if that makes you feel most comfortable (which I recommend in this situation, this being your first), but a midwife will tend to allow you and to give you many more options than a regular doctor would :)


I can completely sympathize with you :) I had my first child at 19. I was terrified when I went into labor. And even with my second, I was still terrified. And now with my third, I am definitely not looking forward to going through it again. It's a big, scary, thing to go through. But you'll make it through and you'll have a beautiful baby to greet at the end of things :)



Oh....just thinking. I would recommend against getting induced unless absolutely necessary (there are many at home solutions to try and things that your doctor can do physically (like a membrane sweep) to induce labor before trying an induction with something like pitocin. From everything that I have heard, induced labors tend to last a bit longer and to be more intense/more painful than a naturally induced birth. Induction should be a last resort.

Good luck :) and feel free to message me if you want :)

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Danielle Elizabeth - posted on 05/22/2013

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I honestly thought the pushing on your stomache after labor was the worst part. I received an epidural, but when it was time to push they told me I had an Infection from my water being broken for too long. I had to wait 2 more hours and receive intravenous antibiotics before I could push, they refused to give me any more medication bc they didn't want me to be too numb to push. So I felt everything when it came to pushing bc my epidural had worn off. I wanted to see my baby so badly that the pain was not very important. They will push on your tummy every 15 min to make sure the blood isn't accumulating and I'm not sure if it would have hurt so bad if I still had Meds in me but that was the worst part

Ceatana - posted on 05/22/2013

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I have four kids I had one natural rest with epidural its not that bad I was 120 pnds when I had my first you might want to get the epidural since this is your first some people rip or the cut you before you do they did that to me with the first but having a baby isnt painful at all irs normal to be scared just make sure your healthy and you'll be fine

MaryJ - posted on 05/21/2013

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Just had my first 2 months ago...Believe me, ITS NOT THAT BAD! Contractions are painful (they feel they sharp pains in your abdomen), but as soon as you are ready they will give you pain medication. I did get an epidural, and it completely takes away the pain of the contractions. The actually experience of having your child does something to the brain that makes the pain "acceptable", for lack of a better word. When you began to push, its just a lot of pressure. As soon as my daughter came out, and my eyes met hers, I couldve taken a bullet and been okay with it. It will be the best day of your life, dont worry!!!

Nicole - posted on 05/19/2013

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I was 21 when i got pregnant..and i had my son at 22. I was terrified in the beginning too..bt homestly as time passes you jst reallly want to meet your baby. I lost the fear and decided i wanted to get induced..i held it together up until maybe 2hrs before i was suppose to go into the hospital. I cried to my husband and he calmed me. I was scared bt anxious at the same time..and yeah, the contractions are killler..bt once you get the epidural, its smooth sailing from there (if thts wht you choose). The part tht hurt the most is the IV they stick into your hand (they did my arm). Once i got the epidural i was soo excited to start pushinh, and i was soo happy about the experience i was gonna have and i kept drifting on thinking of how my baby wld look and im going to meet him! WELLLL, my biggest fear was getting a c section..and i ended up having to do an emergency one..the chord was wrapped around my sons neck twice and his heart rate dropped every contraction. I panicked bt knew wht had to be done. Your stronger then you think! I shocked myself.

Amrit - posted on 04/28/2013

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p.s. you may also feel contractions after the birth as your uterus contracts back to its smaller size. Just thought I'd mention that since no one told me :) it may only be if you breastfeed, but I am not sure...

Amrit - posted on 04/28/2013

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I am 24 with a lovely one year old. In my own experience the mental image I had of labor pain and delivery was much worse than what it actually turned out to be for real. The media and film industries really dramatize birth to a point where it seems like the worst possible thing one could go through. They also seem to skip over early labor which can last quite a while. For me, the onset was gradual- I woke up in the morning with some stomach pangs and wondered to myself, "is this labor?" if I had to question myself, then it wasn't that painful. They were indeed contractions and continued throughout the day. My husband and I decided to get our last minute shopping done because we followed the tradition where the mother and baby stay home for the first 40 days after birth to facilitate bonding, isolate the baby from the chaos of the outside world (not to mention its germs) and provide a peaceful and relaxing atmosphere to breastfeed. So by the end of our shopping to three different stores I was getting quite impatient to go home so I could stop puking in parking lots ;P I just tend to be a puker.
My early labor lasted about 2 days. During that time I laid in bed, trying to sleep between contractions, and trying to eat but puking up most of it. (Advice: get as much sleep as you can, and eat as much as you can before things get really uncomfortable)
I also did an all natural birth at a birthing center (I qualified for state aid so it was free for me- you should apply, you could qualify) where the midwives were very friendly and kind. They gave me the space that I needed and reassured me when I needed it as well. I actually went to the birth center the first night that I was in labor, but they checked my progress and I had only dilated to 3cm (not fun to hear) "oh yeah, you can go home" hah. The car ride home was not too fun, but I made it. Twenty four hours later I was back at the birth center again at 1 am, and my midwife Vanessa was sleepy but alert. She asked if I wanted to check the dilation. I declined, not wanting to go home again, so I got in the bath for a while, had my mom massage me until I didn't want anyone touching me, then when I was on my hands and knees on the floor, just focusing on breathing through the contractions I could feel something starting to change and I got into the tub. They took off my IV, I had not been able to keep any water/electrolytes down, so I asked for a fluid IV so I didn't have to worry about drinking, then I sat in the tub for a while until I felt like pushing. My water never broke- it is apparently rare, but keeps the baby out of contact with the outer world for longer I guess. I don't know how many times I had to push but I think it took about 40 minutes- once active labor really began, things went quickly. (It's the pesky pre-labor that nobody talks about) Active labor to transition was about 3 hours. And once you are in that stage, all you want to do is see your baby! When I finally pushed her out (after many sounds my husband never imagined would come out of me) (and yes, almost everyone poos a little bit) I instantly forgot all the pain I had just undergone and was in just awe of this little human! We then moved to the bed and after 20 mins or so I pushed out the placenta (what a weird feeling!). We wrapped it up and left the cord intact for about 2 hours to ensure that all of the blood and nutrients went into our daughter instead of being wasted. Also she would be less at risk for anemia that way.
Then our breastfeeding relationship began. It has been full of challenges and lessons and the most rewarding moments and I highly recommend giving it your full effort.


OK, I know that was long and rambling, but I hope it helps to show that you need not be afraid, and like others have said, it is the most natural process in our lives as women (literally we are made for it) and it is an incredible gift to bring another person into this world through our own selves.
As for lots of vomiting, try eating smaller meals more often- avoid greasy fried foods, and listen to your body- if it wants to eat immediately when you wake up, do it. If it wants to wait til later, do it. Try ginger, it seems to work for most people but didn't really agree with me... also look up pressure points, and there are sea sickness bracelets that people wear to ward off nausea.
Hope it was helpful and not annoying. :) All the best to you, you are going to do great! Just think of your love for you baby and let your body do it's job!

Shauna - posted on 04/23/2013

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yeah its not too bad. with my first one i din't have any problems except for her heart rate dropped and with the second one she got stuck behind my pelvic bone and let me tell you that hurt a lot. but like caitlin said its all worth it in the end to see that little face and holding that little bundle of joy in your arms even if they are crying. lol

Caitlin - posted on 04/23/2013

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Believe me by the time your almost due your so excited to see that baby that your willing to go threw all the pain in the world. But I had natural birth and honestly didn't find it to be as horrible as everyone says its pretty bad but so worth it to see your baby

Shauna - posted on 04/23/2013

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thanks. anyone can be strong when it comes to your kids. you do what you got to do and what you feel comfortable with and comfortable doing

Shauna - posted on 04/22/2013

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Well, I can tell you that it can be unbearable I won't lie to you. My mom had to have 3 epidurals with me because none of them took and they finally had to take me c-section. I will be 26 in two weeks and I have given birth twice. It was unbearable at times but it was well worth it and many people call me crazy because i did not have any medication whatsoever with either of my girls. I did not have an epidural or anything. I wanted to experience the feeling of my child being born and actually be alert and know what was going on even if it meant being in extreme pain. I also did not want anything that could possibly hurt my child. But it is totally up to you. But I went all natural.

Jessica - posted on 04/14/2013

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Im 22 and I have a 7 month old daughter. This is one thing that my doctor kept telling me when I told her my concerns about the pain, young women are built to have babies. We are in our prime to concieve and to give birth so dont stress out about it too much. Yes labor is painful but if it were truly that bad women wouldnt keep having more than one child. Im not sure what type of pain management your looking into but the epidural is a life saver! As for morning sickness, drink raspberry leaf tea, it really helps with nausea and once your in your third trimester you can drink it 3 times a day and it helps prepare your uterus for labor. So dont stress yourself out, everyones labor experience is different but in my opinion i would say its really not that bad. just think about the end result which is youll have your baby in your arms and i promise once he or she is out you will completely forget about the pain.

Denikka - posted on 04/09/2013

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Ginger tablets and ginger ale can work wonders for an upset stomach.
Basically whatever you would do if you were sick with the flu, do the same thing. Lots of fluids, easy foods (toast, crackers, scrambled eggs, etc)

If it's really bad though, you may have to find the money for a prescription. I got sick with the flu when I was pregnant with my second and couldn't eat anything without throwing up. I basically ended up in a cycle where I couldn't eat or drink anything, got really dehydrated and the dehydration instead of the illness made me unable to eat or drink without throwing up. I had to go into the hospital twice for a saline IV (2 bags each time) along with taking the anti nausea prescription. So definitely watch yourself and be careful not to get dehydrated. And don't fall for that 8 glasses crap. Drink until your pee is pretty much clear. Each person needs a different amount of water and a pregnant/breastfeeding woman needs more than an average woman. Follow your own body.

Lana - posted on 04/09/2013

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When the contractions come in intervals that are noticeably painful GO TO THE HOSPITAL. The doctors tell you to call a nurse and they will tell you whether, or not to go to the hospital. When I called the nurse she told me to stay home because I wasn't in labor. I ignored her and went anyway. I showed up at the hospital at 5 cm. The nurse was WRONG. I received my epidural at 7cm and gave birth 8 hrs later. PLEASE don't torture yourself. Modern medicine is here for a reason. Childbirth was still scary, but I made it through as a happy healthy mother to a 5 month old. You CAN do it.

Sumitra - posted on 04/08/2013

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hiiiiiiiiii steffane...... don't get scared....u just take care of u and ur baby....eat healthy..stay healthy....u won't mnd the pan when u hold ur baby n ur laps...

Steffanie - posted on 04/08/2013

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Thanks guys! It helped a little bit, i'm still scared. I still have yet to be in to see a doctor! Its hard as anything to get into see her.
But is there anything at all I can take for the nauseous feelings? I get sick every single morning, and then throughout the day its awful, but im not on a medical plan so I cant even afford the prescriptions, But its too the point that I cant eat without throwing it back up (Im awful when it comes to throwing up), i panic, a lot

Firebird - posted on 04/05/2013

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I had my daughter 3 months before I turned 20 and I personally found that it wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it was going to be. I was 120lbs when I got pregnant too, I'm also tall, so I probably should have weighed a bit more than that. At the end of my pregnancy I weighed 154.3 lbs After my daughter's birth I actually wished I hadn't taken the morphine. lol I learned a lot that day about how tough I really am. Denikka's already given you some fantastic advice on pain management, so all I can really offer you is my experience and encouragement.

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