I'm terrified of the father of my childs lies

Samantha - posted on 08/05/2013 ( 13 moms have responded )

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he is a nightmare. i was with him for a few years and both of us done drugs, he gave me hepC he knocked one of my teeth out, gave me a scar, cheated, everything!! and my child is 2 and im clean about 2 n half years or so, he's not clean, but gives clean drug tests cause he gets someone else to do a sample for him n he uses it. He has a big scary family and i have only my two 80 year old parents and no friends. he is a total lier and for example 2 weeks ago he wanted me to pretend he has the child 3 nights a week so he can claim rent allowance and get an appartment, when i said no, he smashed up my house, then started shouting that he wants her 3 days a week really so, n if he cant have a house and the child then neither can i... i rang the police cause i was worried he'd get more violent twords me, and he lied that he snapped cause he found a needle in the babies clothes!!!! nothing came of it and the police just let him go. but a week later he came back and went into the bedroom and removed a needle that he had planted in her clothes, n said if i hadnt let him in he could have rang social services. he is capable of anything. and he is an AMAZING lier, if i was an outsider looking in, id believe him over me hes so convincing . plus his family are very violent and interfeering, like after that happened i got a phonecall from his sisters to say 'whats goin on in your house, if we hear your doing drugs we will come out there n take the baby off u' im clean years n its their bro who really is on stuff, and got me on in first place. now im left stressed out, no friends, nothing, n hes swanning around doin what he wants, getting loads of 18 - 19 yr old girls (he's 30) driving his nice car (with no insurance/lisence) partying, n whenever he pleases he can come out here cause im scared of him. the only good thing is that him n his sisters havnt been looking for me to give then the baby without me there, but they probs will start looking for that soon.... any advice???? sorry so long...

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Wendie - posted on 08/08/2013

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Run for your life sweetheart.. when a mom runs with the kids its called parenting, a dad runs its kidnapping. Run out of state. Far away from this guy because not only is he abusive but he will try to kill you!! Find shelters in different areas from yours. Please pray for Gods covering and help. And Doors will open for you. Im so sorry youre going through this. Take care of you and your baby first and foremost!!! Good luck.

Stephanie_p1 - posted on 08/07/2013

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Go to a women's shelter in your area. They can provide a safe place for you and your baby and can even provide you with legal advice to prevent this guy from ever having custody of your child. I am so sorry that you are going through this. If you need someone to talk to at any time, please feel free to send me a message. Take care, and God bless you.

Brenna - posted on 08/05/2013

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Um you need to report the situation to dhs and child welfare they will get u a new place and help you out of the situation. Theres no way in hell id stay somewhere that my kids were exposed to violence and drugs.. especially needles and stuff. This disgusts me. Get help!

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Samantha - posted on 08/18/2013

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i am so thankful that so many moms have replied to my post, i don't even know any of u and you are all so helpfull to me. thanks. at the moment im staying with my parents and trying to think of all my options. at the moment all i can do is hope he slips up and puts something in a text or some way so i can document. it's great to have this network of others moms to help give this courage, reading each post gives me a little more strength.

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I agree with everyone that says run. You don't need proof if it is really that scary. Run get an epo and contact a domestic violence center. If you are clean and your child is too then you don't have to worry about custody.

Jenna Paige - posted on 08/10/2013

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No no no my husband is a night mare because he tosses me around with me pregnant and the doctor and hospital said if she ever tosses you around again call 911 or run away cause I could loose my baby's inside me if I don't be careful he doesn't want any part of the babies on the way he apparently want them to die I cry cause he gets on mom circle this website and posts bad things of me like me telling him STOP he is under Zane that's his name if you see his reply or sentence you moms tell him Jenna is sick and tired of you if I tell him he'll tell the judge on me moms I cry everyday 😪😪😪 cause of him I say to my EX I ❤ him he says back I 💔 you he says he hates me 💔💔😪😪 I cry and cry when my kids say that to me he is teaching my kids to call me a bitch I woop them and they call there dad an tell on me ZANE calls my iPhone and says you abuse I say no they cuss at me you think that's ok and he says yea and omg I get mad moms please give me advice

Elise - posted on 08/09/2013

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Also, if you are not getting anywhere with one support group/person etc, find another, there is so much help out there if you just go and find it (although I doubt they wouldn't believe you as long as you're honest)

Elise - posted on 08/09/2013

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Who cares about proof, just get out!! Sure the best way is to get a hair sample, then they can see exactly what the drop kick has been up to. But you have to trust that there are places out there who deal with women in your situation all the time and they know exactly how to deal with narcissistic misogynists, I promise, you may think he seems completely plausible to everyone else but any psychologist, social worker, women's refuge worker or person with more than half a brain will see right through him I promise! They saw through my dads lies when I was 16 and thought I was on my own, (i thought who would listen to a kid, especially when her dad is "just delightful" around everyone else) but my school social worker had seen his type all too many times before and after a short phone call with him, knew exactly who was telling the truth and it definatley wasn't the narcissist! just do it and get some help, if for nothing, for your kid, who can't help them self! you need to grow some balls and put your child first. Get out of there!!!!!! And don't go back!!!!!! Find another town if it gets you away from his family (in my case I always referred to my fathers family as a cult, because that's what they were) and they did to me just what his idiot family is doing to you. Brainwashing is all too common. . .

Elise - posted on 08/09/2013

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You seriously need to get away from that drama, you need to find some support from a women's refuge or something and get them to help you put a protection order in place against him. They will believe you, support you and get you through. He has no right to use that kind of emotional terrorism on you and it will absolutely be affecting your child and who the child becomes. Even if hes not violent towards the child, the child will be affected. The fact that he has his family threatening and physically and emotionally assaulting you is unacceptable. Do your child and yourself a favour and get the hell away from those people, he should have no access to that child with the history he has, the child will be much better off if he's not in its life. Get yourself together, get out of that situation, sitting around posting on forums is not helping your situation, if you really want to be free of that drama, you will be motivated enough, for your child's sake, to get yourself and your child safe. Do not keep yourself in abusive situations, be strong and cut the ties. You can do it and you can do it alone, don't listen to him telling you, that you need him because you don't! Your child needs you and you need to do what's right for the kid. Then go and find yourself a real man.

Hope - posted on 08/09/2013

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I agree with Wendie hun, if you can't get proof you need to get the hell out of there.

Gena - posted on 08/07/2013

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Tell them to take a blood sample directly from him.Tell them exactly how he is causing troubles and lying.I hope they are clever enough to take the sample directly from him.
Can you get help from a place where they offer help to mothers in difficult situations?

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