i need advice

Erika - posted on 08/03/2009 ( 4 moms have responded )

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a very close family member of mine found out today that her baby that she is 5 months pregnant with has a very big chance of being born mentally retarded. he has abnormalities in his brain and heart. she is having a really hard time with it and so am i witch makes it hard to not be sad around her. i would like some advice on how i can show her the support she needs and make sure she doesnt get so depressed she harms herself. any suggestions??

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Tasha - posted on 08/03/2009

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I am a mom, but I also worked with mentally challenged adults and youth for 5 years. I can say that when my sister-n-law was pregnant they told her my nephew would most likely be born mentally challenged. They also discussed abortion at the same time. My sister -n law excepted that what would happen would happen. My nephew Justin is now 9 years old and perfectly normal. The dr.s never explained themselves either. Also, remind her that just because he/she may have a disability does not mean their not whole there is just something more special to love.

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Kate CP - posted on 08/03/2009

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Well, there are many support groups for people with special needs children. I would also suggest you encourage her to undergo counseling to help her deal with her anxieties about having a child with special needs. How did they find out the child has a high chance of mental retardation? What kind of disabilities (Downs, etc) has the fetus been "diagnosed" with? If there is a chance the baby will be okay then I would focus on that. It's hard being pregnant and having all the normal worries then to pile this on top of it would just overwhelm any woman. There's probably nothing to really calm all of her fears, but you can just be as supportive as possible.

Erika - posted on 08/03/2009

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sorry i should rephrase that i didnt mean actually like hurt herself but like becoming so depressed that she quits takin care of herself or is so stressed she puts herself into early labor. she doesnt need to be in a psychiatric unit or anything i just meant so her pregnancy doesnt have any more issues. my bad should have said it differently.

Kate CP - posted on 08/03/2009

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If you honestly are afraid she may harm herself or others she needs to be admitted to a psychiatric unit for observation and possible medical treatment.

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