I need help and support!!

Momma - posted on 08/12/2013 ( 5 moms have responded )

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I am 22 years old. It all started when my boyfriend and I decided to have a child he is now 10 months and healhy. My mother did not like the idea. my boyfriend decided that it was a good idea to move in with his parents.I agreed because he pleaded his parents needed financial help. I received judgmental comments all the times and also was not comfortable living with them. Even when my son was born they made it as if I didn't want them there but it was a misunderstanding. A month ago my father in law committed suicide. I was a support and stayed with my boyfriend's family and cooked and did everything i could while also being there for my son. Now my boyfriend and I been planning to buy a house and we got approved. Problem is that my father in law left my mother in law in card debts and she cannot afford the mortgage alone. We offered her to come live with us. She keeps guilting us to stay in the house and basically make us feel guilty, Even my brother in law put on facebook that we were not great full and we should be ashamed. Problem is that we cant even afford the mortgage that my mother in law has and the house makes me cry every time because he did it here. I asked my brother in to come visit his mom. well my mother in law was always sad and he tells me to basically not but in. He doesn't visit much. What do I do? I feel like im going to go crazy. my father in law was an alcoholic and i was scared of him sometimes. Now my boyfriend is always working and I also work, but this situation makes me just run away some t

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Momma - posted on 08/23/2013

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Thank you all for your comments. We are going to get though this. Now I have learned that my father in law left a huge of card debts and the house need lots of repair and is expensive. My MIL has suggested us to stay and help her out. Many times she tells me that her two sons have given their back on her. I don't think I should pay their debts. After all on should know how to manage their money and say no to some expenses. Thanks for the advise I really do appreciate it.

Lindsay - posted on 08/22/2013

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First of all, I am so sorry that you are going through all of this. The first year of your child's life is so precious. Full of hard times, but good times that make it all worth it. It's a time for learning and growing and getting to know your new baby! I am very sorry that your family had such a terrible loss, and is now having to deal with the repercussions of that. But you have a family now, and you have to do what is right for you and your baby. You don't want to jeopardize your child's health and well being for other people. Even if it is family. And it sounds like you have already done a lot to help. Don't let anyone bring you down or make you feel guilty. Family is supposed to help each other out, and not one person should be expected to do it all. If the other family are that worried about it, then they can step in and help too. Not just leave it all up to you and your boyfriend. Do what is best for you guys, and I hope it all works out! Good luck, and hang in there. Your baby needs you, so try not to let stress and other people bring you down. ♥

Paula - posted on 08/17/2013

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They never offered me any thing or suggest just don't know what to do I wished I could have a least 1 baby no asking for to much just one

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It's hard enough when you are young with a child and putting that kind of stress on yourself and relationship will make things even more difficult! I hope that you and your son was not home when it happened! It is not yours or your boyfriends responsibility to financially support your mother in law. I would encourage her to start new either with y'all in a new house or find her a new place she can afford. The house seems like it would a constant reminder. Whatever happens do whats best for your baby. And don't feel bad if you have done everything you could, it sounds like the people saying theses things feel guilty for some reason. Start fresh. Good luck

Enna - posted on 08/13/2013

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Get out of there! If you aren't comfortable in the house (especially with what has happened), then you need to move. It's your mother-in-law's choice to stay there. I would definitely do anything you can to convince her to move out or help her. She's going to have an especially rough time when you move, but all you can do is try to be there for her. You can't let other people make you feel guilty for your decision.

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