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I need some adult conversation.

Tammy - posted on 10/06/2009 ( 11 moms have responded )




I feel like I don't get a chance to have an adult conversation or make new friends as my son is my world and all my focus is on him. I feel I don't have the time to do anything for myself. Is this normal for a first time mum to feel this way?

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User - posted on 06/14/2011




it's normal. it's life with a kid/kids. But i try to make friends with other moms so the kids can play and i can talk about something other than elmo or 'dont you want to sit on the potty now?' also, her granny keeps my daughter all night every other saturday,thankfully, and i get to do something -anything! - that i want - drinks with friends,a pedicure or just sleep as much as possible!

Rachel - posted on 10/06/2009




I know how you feel I am a stay at home mom with a husband that is always working and not to into the family when he is home.....its hard and I am still trying to find a balance. I take my son to gymboree once a week and thats nice you have other adults to talk to.

Ashley - posted on 10/06/2009




I feel the same way! Jacob is my first son and I feel like I have no time to communicate with an adult..

Amber - posted on 10/06/2009




It is normal to feel this way, and I suggest you find a playgroup to join locally so you can get out and talk with other moms, relate to different situations as a first time mom, and let your baby play! It's so important to me "you" time....even if it's when your son is napping, and you call a friend to chat for a little while, or have a date night with your hubby or girls night out with a few good friends. We all need time for us, otherwise, I know I start getting depressed and sometimes I even feel like I've forgotten what I'm all about! :) I work from home, and what I love is that I get to talk with other moms everyday, and that is my "me" time! :)

Ashley - posted on 10/06/2009




Oh girl I feel you. It sucks that most of my child-less friends don't really talk to me anymore, and I really don't do much but stay with my sweet boy while my hubby is working. It doesn't help that my only conversations are usually talking to a six month old...or if a telemarketer calls...

I would love to find a mother's club or something, but am not sure if one is around my area!

I joined a group on here for ladies in my area, and I made a facebook far. I hope to make more and hopefully talk to some in person.

I mean, when the only thing you talk about is how your sleeping schedule is and how many poopy diapers you dealt with, you need to get out.

Kristy - posted on 10/06/2009




i feel the same :)
i find it easier if i can ask some one to come over for a few hours. they can help watch bub and u get to sit down and have a cuppa.
also try joining a mothers group or something, or you could also join a post natal yoga group. they are good :)

Amy - posted on 10/06/2009




It's perfectly normal and reasonable and I get the same way. It's hard to be at home all day with someone who you can talk to but who at this point you can't talk with. Just because you're a mom doesn't mean you no longer need time for you. What I have figured out is that if I time things right or find an appropriate baby-friendly activity I can still get together with some of my friends and have grown-up time. For example, I'll go get coffee with a friend but schedule it so that we are meeting at a time that my daughter is likely to be in the mood to nap. The car ride usually puts her to sleep and then my friend and I can chat while she has her nap. Another possibility is meeting a friend at the mall and packing your baby's stroller so you guys can chat and window shop (an get a little exercise to boot!) while the baby enjoys a trip out and the chance to see a new place. If all else fails, arrange with someone to watch the baby for a couple hours on the weekend so you can get out and have some time to yourself. Even if all you do is run a couple of errands, being out without the baby can help you feel better. I hope this helps. For me this has been the key to keeping my sanity while my husband is at work.

Martha - posted on 10/06/2009




It is normal to feel that way. I felt that way at first. Depending on your sons age. If your child is a newborn or an infant it seems all your time is tending to your childs needs. I have a 7 year old and My mom tries to keep her one day a week so I can have some "mommy time" The great thing as they get a little older they can go to friends houses for sleepovers. Usually my daughter will sleepover at a friends house and the following weekend I will try to have that friend come stay with us. Doing this lets the people know you appreciate them letting your child stay with them. It is kind of like an unspoken agreement. They know by letting my child stay that I will give them a break by letting their child stay. I know that one day a week doesn't seem like much but that unexpected phone call that a friend wants them over tends to happen more often as they get older. Remember you want to have their child over too at times so people don't get upset and they have an oppurtunity to do grown up things.

Sabrina - posted on 10/06/2009




I am totally woth you on this one. I have 2 boys that are 15 months apart. My oldest will be 3 in December and my youngest is 18 months. I am a stay at home mom and my husband works 2nd shift. We are all in bed when he gets home and he usually sleeps in in the morning. So, hes not around alot. I feel like I need a break. I love my boys dearly but I also need some time alone or with friends to gather my sanity. Its hard because I cant talk to my husband about it. He thinks that I just dont want to be near the kids but thats not the case. Trust me, your feelings are normal and your not the only one. I need adult conversation myself. how old is your son?

LeAnne - posted on 10/06/2009




for sure!!! i felt the same way, and sometimes still do. you will be feeling a lot of different emotions, and they are all normal!!!

Bonnie - posted on 10/06/2009




yes i felt the same way when i was first a mother as yes your children are your world ! as your child gets older it will become easier do you go to mothers groups or have friends and family with children around the same age as your son ?

id say look into a mothers club or playgroup of some sort ! but as they get older it does get easier because u can take them out more and to other places where other adults and children may be ? where abouts do u live ? but im sure this feel;ing wont stay around for ever good luck :) im here to chat if u like ? !

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