i think my 3 month old is spoiled!!! help me???

Amanda - posted on 03/08/2012 ( 16 moms have responded )

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First time mom here!! My little one is 3 1/2 months, he was 5 weeks premature. He is a breastfed baby that sleeps through the night from about 11pm - 830am. Sounds wonderful...BUT all of a sudden he is in this stage where when he is hungry he screams bloody murder... tired, screams bloddy murder.. cold after a bath same thing.. wants to be held, screams.. have I spoiled him? Is this normal? Will he grow out of it??!!!! I don't respond to his cries instantly, but I'm also not a fan of the whole cry it out method either! What do I do???

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Kaitlin - posted on 03/08/2012

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DO NOT LET your child cry it out at this age! Respond IMMEDIATELY to his cries! He is an infant! he can not be spoiled! He is crying because he NEEDS something from you, not wants. HE NEEDS to be fed, changed, and cuddled right away.

Medic - posted on 03/08/2012

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Ummm he is a BABY! Babies need to be held, cuddles, fed, cleaned, made to feel secure. As soon as you think you have a routine they change it on you. Welcome to parenthood, and you cannot spoil a baby btw.

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Tina - posted on 11/28/2012

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....And when they get to a certain age they CAN be spoiled to the point where no MATTER what is wrong with them,, even if they are completely content they will cry unless they are carried around non stop. For the realistic mommies out there, yes you can spoil them. Unless you have a pouch and nothing else in your life that needs tending to including yourself, after a certain age you need to stop jumping at every little noise they make. Make sure they are dry, fed, not in pain or frightened, assure them that you are still close by, that you love them and continue with what ever you are doing. Im am not saying a newborn, two, three or even four month old. But once they start getting to that six month age, they know exactly how to get your attention and if all they want is to be held and carried all day they know exactly how to get it. Better guide them into knowing that just because mama does not carry them 24/7 that they are just fine, otherwise, you are gonna have some pretty pissed off grandparents, babysitters and child care providers!

Monique - posted on 03/09/2012

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YOU CAN NOT SPOIL A BABY! He's probably going through a groth spurt, or teathing around these times they're uncomfortable and so mommy will be too.

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You cannot spoil your baby, you are doing the right thing by responding to him when he cries/ screams, there's no need to leave them crying (unless of course you are doing something that needs to be done and can't get to the baby).



There probably isn't anything wrong, some babies just cry more than others, my first was a model baby, he rarely cried and was easily soothed if he did cry, my second oh my goodness she has cried more in her 9 months than my son has in his 2 1/2 years lol, every baby is different and will vocalise their needs differently.

Deborah - posted on 03/08/2012

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Nope. Not spoiled. He's too young to be spoiled. I agree with Kelina though, it does sound like he's found a new way to express himself. IF you know he isn't in pain or danger, than approach the way you normally do and maintain a sense of calm. Talk him down from it, "Now there is no need to scream like that, Mommy is here"



Speak loud enough for him to hear, but not so loud as to be heard 'over' him. If you emulate a calm and soothing air, he'll pick up on it. I think babies are GREAT at picking up tension from parents... My son hated it when his dad held him for the first few months, because dad was nervous and scared and had no idea what to do. My son picked up on that and got scared too.



It will pass when he discovers a new sound to make. Good Luck, momma

Kelina - posted on 03/08/2012

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sounds like your little man has discovered a new sound! don't worry this too shall pass lol. It can be a bit frightening at first, couldn't figure out what the heck was wrong with my daughter since my son had never done with it, finally realized she's just a much louder child. HEr talking is the same volume as her crying and screaming lol. She lets off these happy screeches of delight that took me a while to distinguish from the somethings wrong scream. Since he quiets as soon as you pick him up, I doubt it's something wrong with him. More than likely he's discovered a new sound and is in the process of discovering his voice. Good luck and congrats on you little one!

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Pick him up, respond to his needs right away. He's still very new and the world is scary. By responding you are teaching him that you're there for him and as he gets older he will feel safe and able to grow more independent. Try baby wearing for this fussy stage. I love my Ergo carrier. I also have a Moby wrap. He may be going through a growth spurt or have something else that is upsetting him. You CANNOT spoil a baby, period. Trust me, they grow up very fast and he won't be little very long. Enjoy snuggling him while he's still little!

Chrystal - posted on 03/08/2012

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You haven't spoiled him it's not possible to spoil a baby under 6 months. Most likely I'd guess your baby is simply "waking up" it takes time for them to get used to life outside the womb at first they sleep, eat, poop thats about all and then their little world explodes and they start needing more attention.

Jodi - posted on 03/08/2012

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Ditto...you can't spoil a baby. When your baby needs something, they give you cues, unfortunately, their cues can be really hard to pick up on. Miss the cue...and let the scream fest begin! lol Hold your baby, snuggle with him. Also, 3 months is a pretty average time for a growth spurt, which can make them more tired and more cranky and obviously hungrier! lol You're doing a great job, and never worry about spoiling a baby...it simply isn't possible.

Tara - posted on 03/08/2012

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Hes too little....they don't stay this small for long. Enjoy comforting him. Don't listen to people who tell you that you spoiled him....maybe hes more sensitive than other babies. Enjoy him, comfort him when he needs you! You won't regret it...he just loves you

Bonnie - posted on 03/08/2012

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Babies cannot be spoiled. They need attention. That's what babies do. They have no way of telling you.

Rachel - posted on 03/08/2012

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It sounds like something may be wrong because babies usually only scream if they are trying to tell you something. I have a 3 1/2 month old as well and he rarely screams and it's not because I constantly hold him, it's because he is on a consistent schedule and I follow the eat/play/sleep cycle so that he regularly eats every 3 hours during the day, then has about 1 hour or more of playtime followed by naptime. I always make sure he gets a full feeding every time. This is a great cycle for babies because it's consistent, they get adequate play time and tummy time and learn how to take regular, consistent naps. It's not great to always nurse them to sleep because then they get dependent on that to be able to sleep. I don't even need to rock my son before his naptime. I just follow his cues and put him down before he gets too tired that he's crying and fussy and he will usually make some noises for a few minutes and then be asleep and rarely ever cries himself to sleep. When he is awake he is so happy and well rested and such a joy to be around. You should learn your babies cues to decide how often he needs to eat and sleep and if he is screaming a lot you've probably missed the initial cues and now he is at the desperate stage. If you do have him on a good schedule then maybe he's just crying from being gassy or has a reflux issue.

I would also talk with your doctor about how long he should be sleeping at night without any feedings because 9 1/2 hours is a lot and he may still need to eat at night and that may be the cause for all his screaming during the day. 3 month olds who are on the schedule described above are capable of sleeping up to 9 hours but if breastfed they shouldn't be allowed to go longer than that between feedings because that could affect your milk supply during the day and result in you not having enough milk production during the day to keep him satisfied.

Hope that helps and that you're able to figure out how to help him and get him back to a happy baby again.

Amanda - posted on 03/08/2012

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Thanks for the advice! I know that he needs these things.. but all this screaming is a new thing for him! He was screaming so loud I keep thinking he is hurt then as soon as I pick him up he is silent! LOL. Both my husbands and my mother keep saying he is spoiled and I need to let him cry sometimes.. but I can't!! So thank you for making me feel better about responding to him as I do

Brittney - posted on 03/08/2012

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(I do believe that babies can be spoiled at any age) My daughter was spoiled by her grandparents and great grandparents when she was 2months old. They always held her, never put her down and when she had to be put down, she would start to fuss and there they are right on schedule to pick her up again. At home, at first she would scream and cry, scream and cry to be held, when I set her down I would let her cry for a few minutes (like 5 at most) and she would calm down. You're doing just fine, don't answer his cry immediately (although screaming sounds awfully bad), maybe he just wants to be near you. Try talking to him without actually holding him, see if he calms down to your voice.

Firebird - posted on 03/08/2012

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Babies cannot be spoiled. They can't talk, so when they want something, they have to scream and cry. Like 'Mommy' said, as soon as you get a schedule going, baby has other plans. Just keep giving him what he needs. =)

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