I think my husband is becoming unattracted to me :(

Becca - posted on 07/17/2009 ( 3 moms have responded )

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I'm halfway thru my 2nd trimester and my husband has started to put off having sex. I know he works hard to take care of me and is tired, but he's always worked this much and always been this tired, but this is the first time he's been willing to give up sex so often. I know he loves me and I've never doubted that, but he's always been superficial about body types. He has told me up til a few weeks ago, when I'd discuss my body insecurity with him, "It's ok you're pregnant. Weight gain and stretch marks are gonna happen." But I haven't heard that in awhile and I'm a worrier. I worry that he won't want to touch me by the end of the pregnancy due to the weight gain. I don't know what to do since talking to him about it gets the response I mentioned earlier, but nothing else. :(

3 Comments

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Aline - posted on 07/18/2009

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Sweetie, You must feel very sad... I understand and agree with the other moms.. Men are outsiders in this process, they really don't become true dads until the baby is out and real to them. So in my expirience they have lots of anxiety and fear.. but being the men they are can't really channel it in a good way. It's true most men fear sex because they panic when they think it can hurt you or the baby... And maybe the stress and fears of daddy to be are making him a bit more tired than usual. The only way to fix this is to talk, share and laugh together!! And remember your body is really sexy when pregnant!! You need to feel sexy for him to see you as a sexy girl!! take care and seduce him!!!

Angie - posted on 07/18/2009

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Hi Becca,

I just want to let you know, you aren't alone. With my first pregnancy my husband had a hard time being attracted to me and afterwards. I swelled up and my nick name at the hospital was sausage. I still have weight issues and its been over a year since I have given birth. Don't give up on him and keep communicating with him. During my pregnancy I was so worried that would go and cheat on me...so in the middle of the nights I tend to "rape" him or try to pleasure hime... I was one crazy chick when I was pregnant. hahahahaha.

I'm sure he still attracted to you...he is probably just having a hard time there is something growing in your stomach and you keep expanding. I guess I don't have very good advice but maybe we can keep in contact and maybe eventually I'll get my point across. :) Good luck with your pregnancy and your husband! :)

Emma - posted on 07/18/2009

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Often guys think that they are going to poke the baby... wishfull thinking on there part :-)

but the worry is they will hurt the baby or you.

Also when they see the scans an see a recognizable baby, it can take a while to get used to that. He is also making the transition from seeing your body as being a sexual entity for pleasuer to it also being a body that is sastaining life.

He could be worrying about becoming a dad.

It dose'nt have to be anything to do with you.

The only way is to talk to Him.

We often forget what New dads have fears and insicuritys, as we are so caught up in ourselves because we are changing so much, phisicaly and emotionaly

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