I think my partner has lost interest in me!

Tiffany - posted on 10/10/2009 ( 7 moms have responded )

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i have been with my partner for 4 years and we have 2 children, but this past year seems like he is only here for the children and not me. he hardly ever talks to me, when he does its either very short or moody. its as if he trys avoiding spending time with me. and i feel like im more of his maid then his partner. its really driving me mad with worry that he doesnt like me anymore or that theres somebody else. i cant talk to him because he doesnt listen to me he just laughs and tells me to stop been so silly. which makes me paranoid at the fact when iv asked him if he is cheating he doesnt say yes or no - he laughs!! iv spent so many nigts crying over this i just need some advice please xx

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Rina - posted on 08/11/2014

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I completely understand how you feel. I'm going through something similar. We have a 4 year old princess. For the past, maybe 3-4 months, my husband has lost interest in his family. He doesn't initiate doing ANYTHING with us. When he does come out, he criticizes and does not care to be there. It's like his mind is some place else. It's very hurtful. He wasn't always like this. He used to enjoy doing so much with us. Now all he wants to do is sit on the couch and numb himself with t.v. I've addressed him about this, but he doesn't seem to care and acts like he doesn't know what I'm talking about. He appears to be very unhappy, very depressed actually. I'm not sure what to do, it's hurtful and I just want to break down and cry. He doesn't want to go anywhere with us or do anything with us. At one point he was blaming me for this and I had to tell him that he's an unhappy person and he needs to figure this out. But he's done nothing.

Cassandra - posted on 10/10/2009

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I'm sorry to hear about you and your beau.

I know when my husband is very stressed with things in life it seems to take a toll on us. Just here recently he was being accused of stealing from his job, and he was put on probation. Talk about stress. He would stay in our room all day and keeps conversations really short. Or around the holidays things get hairy for us. He and I fight alot over stupid stuff and we always kind of drift apart for some reason. Not falling out of love but just apart.

What we always do that seems to help is have a sit down. We put our girls to sleep, stay up all night or however long it takes and talk about all of our problems, take notes (yes, notes like school) about what the other is saying and how we can move past petty fights and bickers. We sit and listen, then talk, then listen. We sit right next to each other and tell each other "I love you" and we make promises not to get angry at each other from what we say to each other. It is like a therapy session but free! We are getting better at tuning into submittal messages from each other now. I hope this helps!

Tiffany - posted on 10/10/2009

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I will try that! i will cook his favourite meal get some wine and candles. that is a great idea thank you so much Brandi. i will let you know how it goes. im feeling happier already :0) xx

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Maybe try to have an evening where you put the kids to bed real early, have a late dinner with him at home and just be real sweet. I had this problem with my husband too. I thought he was cheating too but just turned out he was preoccupied.

Tiffany - posted on 10/10/2009

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Thanks Cori, your suggestions are good but we dont have a babysitter. And both our families are all to wrapped up in their own lives to help us out.it would be sooooo nice to spend time with him again, like we use to. thinking about them times makes me feel really happy and then reality kicks in again. thanks for the advice hunni xx

Cori - posted on 10/10/2009

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oh my goodness tiffany.. im sorry that this is happening to you.. maybe you guys should have a date night or a weekend away just the 2 of you without the distraction of the kids running around.. then hopefully you guys can open up and talk.. i hope everything is works out for you, you'll be in my thoughts!

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