Im a stepmom and i need some advice about being a stepmom

Darlene - posted on 10/08/2014 ( 5 moms have responded )

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i need to chat with moms and stepmoms. i need advice to understand from a stepmom point how to control my emotions with stepdaughter(13) and her mom who puts not soo good thought about her dad. i need to chat, can anyone relate??

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Judsjo - posted on 10/14/2014

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Hey its hard, hard, hard and you may never get to have that relationship with her that you want. but my advise is stay as neutral as possible. make no comment about her mom if its not positive(I know its hard) but no comment is better. also let her visit with you be on neutral grounds leave the discipline to the parents and have a few rules instituted by you to ensure safety etc..

Do not defend dad either, approach it as an outsider looking in. eventually you will gain trust.

Brenda - posted on 10/10/2014

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I have been in your shoes, we fought and are still fighting to have 50/50 custody of my husbands daughter in the beginning it was really hard because her mom took her away from him without any warning. I watched my husband break down, it hurt me so much and to see him down and depressed he needed his daughter back. I became his support system i've stood by his side and fought with him. After a year of going back and forth to court they granted him visitation which was hard at that point his daughter didn't know us anymore she hated being with us, but i assure you it will get easier its been two years we almost have a 50/50 agreement just a couple hour less then mom which we're fighting to get. But now she's excited to see us, she's happy. It takes time to earn that love and trust back, but it was well worth it.

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Darlene - posted on 10/14/2014

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Thank you ladies. Im feeling more confident with your advise and opinions. I appreciate your time and thoughts :)

Darlene - posted on 10/09/2014

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it hurts me to know that daughters mom puts bad thought into her head about her father, making him seem like he's a bad father and then makes daughter feels uncomfortable to with her dad and knowing that its our time(legally) to have his kids. i don't like to be negative towards anybody even though the ex is negative. and i guess its not soo much of emotions, but its more like controlling my feelings to not be affected by my husband situation

Brenda - posted on 10/09/2014

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When you say emotions what do you mean? Do you have bad feelings against mom because ahe speaks bad about dad? Or what is it thats going on?

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