Im having problems with my sons father..What can I do?

Susana - posted on 11/14/2012 ( 12 moms have responded )




Im having problems with my sons father. Hes 21 n im 22. My baby boy is 2 yrs old. His father told me before we broke up that our son will live with him. I didnt like the idea so i told him. That didnt go so well. I dont like fighting in front of my son n before things got worst I left. Its been almost about 3 to 4months now. Everything has been ok I guess, my son stays with his dad for about a week n then I go pick him up. Then my son stays with me for a week n so on. The only problem is that my sons father n I got into another arguement n well he told me that I wont be able to take him n that I can go see him only when he says its ok. What can I do? I mean I dont want to cause more problems but he is my son n I do want him with me!

And its not like I can call the cops on him n say oh my sons father wont let me bring my son with me...or can I?

Im not so sure n well I would love to know if I can go to some place that can help me. Im a first time mom n Im not sure how to deal with this.


Sharlene - posted on 11/16/2012




Hun, I've studied law & I know that if his name is not on the birth certificate, u can report him for kidnapping. The law sees it as u alone has parental rights unless theirs a court order stating otherwise. Plus u say his an illegal immigrant makes it better when considering a court case. He basically hasn't got a leg to stand on.

Heather - posted on 11/15/2012




Talk to a lawyer. I know in FL if the father is not on the birth certificate then he has no legal proof that he is the father and so the police will help you.

User - posted on 11/19/2012




In the eyes of the law, you have sole custody because there is no other documented parent. You can walk right up to the house, take your son home and he cant do anything to stop you. I understand you dont want to cause any more issues for your sons sake, so you may just want to calmly let your sons father know that if he does not stop with holding your child then you will take the necessary actions. I wish you the best in this most difficult of situations. Good luck.

Roxanna - posted on 11/18/2012




Susanna, lets break this down:

1. He is not on the Birth Certificate

Answer- It's kidnapping, get a copy of your son's Birth Certificate, go pick up your son at his Dad with a male escort. If he refuses to hand over the child, call the cops. Believe me, it's painful, but it needs to get done.

Keri - posted on 11/16/2012




Do you have any court orders/custody arrangements? If not, you should look at getting some that specifically outlines who/what/when/where/why/how you handle joint custody. It spells things out so when there is a violation it's easier to deal with,


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Shauna - posted on 11/20/2012




You need to take a male friend or relative with you, and go pick up your son. Do not allow him to intimidate you, or stand between you and your child. After you get your son back in your custody, drive straight to an attorneys office or the local family courts if you do not know of an attorney. You need to get a custody arrangement drawn up to protect both you and your son. I can honestly say , with the father being illegal, I would not allow my son alone with him until a temporary order is in place. There is nothing stopping him from fleeing with your son back to his country, and if that happens that is a whole other legal battle.

Ashley - posted on 11/18/2012




Technically not being on the birth certificate does mean he has no rights. But it really depends onn where u live. I went through this, only he was on the birth certificate and we had custody papers. When I called the cops to get my kids back, they told me it was a domestic issue and I need to get a lawyer. They said they could not do anything but talk to him and if he chose not to give them bacl they couldnt make him. Whats the point in custody agreemebts if they dont have to be followed? Hthe cops also told my friend who went througj this tjat even though he wasnt on the birth certificate it didnt matter beecause she had told him in the past he was the father and he acknowledged to the cops he was the father so they told her to get a lawyer. Pretty jacked. up where I live but u should turn him in for being illegal, then u can get ur son when they arrest him. Good luck

Deanna - posted on 11/15/2012




Talk to a lawyer. Unless there is some issues that would prevent you from raising your son, there is nothing he can do besides kidnapping from preventing you seeing him.

Lottiare - posted on 11/14/2012




He need to not cause trouble being illegal....u can call and tell him that but he will go to jail for kidnap....but look on the bright side. Take care what u need to do them a couples days go get your son if he still Dnt want to give him up tell him what u will have to do....he might be doing it because he still wants u

Susana - posted on 11/14/2012




He is not on the birth certificate and I dont know if this matter when filing for custody but

hes an illegal immigrant.

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