Im in the middle of a divorce and a custody battle, How hard will this be an inpacked on my kids.

Annette - posted on 07/01/2009 ( 4 moms have responded )




My husband left me and one of my kids in Feb. Then I left the state in May to get a job else where and moved in with a friend who is going threw the same issues as I am. Going back and forth from the states, how hard will this be on my kids. I left both kids to their father due to at the time my oldest was in school now he is not.


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Tawni - posted on 07/01/2009




it all depends on the behavior of you and your ex- living in different states puts things in a little different light- and may present other issues- but in my personal experience- my parent's custody battle had huge impacts on my personal sense of boundaries and trust- they both were very immature about everything- abusive towards eachother and childlike--in fact, they couldnt manage to get within sight range of eachother without someone getting hurt or property being damaged- their custody battle lasted 5 years and there was a lot of pitting me against eachother... but- I know other kids whose parent's divorce was one of the best things that could have ever happened to them and it eased the fighting in their family calmed things down etc... so.. it just depends on how you two handle things as adults- and what the kids do and dont see... good luck...

Jamie - posted on 07/01/2009




It all depends on how you and your STBX handle it. I work in family law and there are kids whos parents live in different states and its not that big a an issue. There are some that live 2 minutes away and its hell on the kids. So it all depends on the parents attitude and willingness to co-parent.

Tiina - posted on 07/01/2009




Try to get free legal help, just look it up online. I recieved help and the lawyers were very good and very nice. If you aren't comfortable with the arrangements made, i would seek legal help. Good luck

Amanda - posted on 07/01/2009




stability is most important for your children. your husband left you and you had to relocate as a consequence of that abandonment. I think it should be him that has to travel to you to see his kids. have you talked to your children about what is happening? there are some great story books you can buy or check out at your local library that you can read to your kids to help them understand. try to keep their lives as normal as possible, remain civilized with your ex around your kids and make sure you are both on the same page in regards to raiseing them.

I hope this helps. Good luck, this is a tough situation.

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