im very lazy and letting my life pass me by

Samantha - posted on 08/08/2013 ( 3 moms have responded )

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i stay in my pajamas some days and other days i just have old baggy clothes on and hair not brushed. my family where all going to an event today and i let my daughter go with her grandparents cause i didnt want her to miss out but i didnt bother going cause i couldnt be bothered getting dressed up and doing my hair. i spend a lot of time thinking it would be nice to have a friend or some1 to meet up with the kids but then my old friend whos living abroad rang that shes comming home for the weekend n did i wanna go on a night out and im already dreading it and panicing about being around other people in the pub, i wouldnt dare get up and dance im way too anxious n shy. ive been applying for part-time jobs n i want one sooo badly untill i actually get an interview then i panic thinking oh god id have to be dressed n showered n get to work on time, maybe i wouldnt be good at the job etc and i end up not getting it then anyway. im jealous of everyone whos enjoying life. i get anxious even going to the shop. ive spoke to my doctor she just says see a councillor and i did but it doesnt help i just end up worrying about what does the councillor think of me.... im waisting my life... the only time i wear nice clothes is when my ex comes to c the child and i am too embarrassed to let him see me in bits..and he treated me like dirt and was violent/cheated etc. any advice?? i hope someone writes back

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Denikka - posted on 08/18/2013

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There are options for online or phone counselling. It's something you may want to look into.
I would definitely suggest you do what you have to (maybe you can get a friend, family or partner to go with you) to see a doctor though. It sounds like you really have an anxiety problem and it's quite probable that you'll need medication to deal with that until you can function well enough to take to behavioral treatment.

Samantha - posted on 08/18/2013

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thanks for replying. it's really great to have this network of people to ask for opinions. i relate to what u said about WANTING to get better...i can't put it into words but sometimes it is like i talk myself into being in the rut instead of talking myself out of being in the rut. it is sometimes easier to mope than to be strong. and i am scared of everything. but i am making progress, i'm 100% confident with my child and enjoy her sooo much shes my life, whereas before i was almost a bit shy around my own child even.. i'm starting to feel that i'm not completely useless, i know for a fact im a quite good mother. i'm trying to function but leaving my safe bubble in my home is my main problem, i dont like seeing people or talking face to face.. like if even another child pushed my baby or something, id sooner let it happen than say anything, my chest goes tight etc but im trying.. someone who hasnt experienced similar wouldnt understand, thanks 4 your post

Denikka - posted on 08/08/2013

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It sounds like you may have depression and social anxiety, Your doctor is right about seeing someone, but I would suggest a psychiatrist along with a therapist. You may need medication to jump kick you out of this funk, and you need someone to help give you the skills to be able to cope day to day.

But really, the biggest thing you need to do for yourself is decide that you WANT to get better. I've dealt with depression for almost 15 years now, so I know somewhat where you're at. I said I wanted to get better, and I did, but I also somewhat enjoyed being the victim. It's easier to be the victim and throw pity parties for yourself than to go through the HARD work of actually getting better. I've only recently started seeing a new therapist (number 5, so it can take a while to find the right one) who has been able to do wonders with me. You may need to search around and try different counselors before you find one you click with.
And then you have to be honest. With your therapist and with yourself. I think that's been the hardest part for me. I always thought I was honest with myself and others, and for the most part, I was. But there were things that I was hiding and ignoring, and it's only now that we're getting into these things that I've really made progress.

You need to do whatever it is you have to, to get yourself better. It's not going to be easy and it's not going to be quick. But the end result is so worth it. And you owe it to your daughter and to yourself to get healthy.

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