inlaws

Jessica - posted on 07/10/2009 ( 6 moms have responded )

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My inlaws and I are in a bit of argument. I feel bad because my husbands gets stuck right in the middle. I love my family and Iam very close to them. My husbands family makes them feel unwelcome and uncomfortable at my own home. My inlaws and us have gone in partners on a cattle ranch and live less than 100 yards from eachother. Privacy, I don't think so! Anyway, It's miserable for me when I love my family so much and they are treated so badly when they come to visit. Help! My poor kids 3 and 1 feel the tension and I just want everyone to get along.




Jess

6 Comments

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Catherine - posted on 07/10/2009

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yep I agree with the ladies above. Your husband needs to lay down the law. He can get away with more than you when it comes to criticizing his family,

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I agree with Kendra, your husband needs to confront his parents about the situation. (However I do think you should be there also but he should start the conversation). Good luck. I could never imagine living that close to my inlaws. We live six states away and we still have issues. Hopefully you guys can work it out, especially since you're stuck with them for a loong time.

Felicia Neikolle - posted on 07/10/2009

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I'm sorry for your situation ... and for the record - if he feels stuck in the middle then there's no counting on him to talk to his parents on your behalf. You might try having a grown up night at the house with an outside babysitter (or other relative - sister, brother, uncle, cousin, etc) and have your parents state for themselves how they are being made to feel. After all, you are all adults and they should be able to converse with your in-laws as such. If you are the one doing the conversing with the in-laws then you are stepping in the middle. Like I said, you are all adults and the responsibility to make it all work out is honestly theirs ... you and your husband need to create a "safety" word for when all parties are at your house and there is too much tension ... it gets said and the statement is made that either everyone gets along while inside your walls or parties will be asked to leave ... ALL parties. You have to protect the atmosphere of your house ... and if they aren't kosher with your stipulations for your house then they will get put in "time out" ... it works ...

Mallorie - posted on 07/10/2009

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I live with my in-laws and absolutely hate it. They do just about everything different than I would, they have ideas on how to parent and sure let me know it, and they are also my husband's boss. They have a family business which my husband works for so there are all these blurred lines of what is a healthy relationship and what is unhealthy but the thing that gets me though it is that it is VERY important to have family. Whether they are yours or his, your kids know no difference, they just see Grandma and Grandpa and I'm sure your in-laws love their grandkids. Kids need as many people in their lives who love them as they can get. Boundaries sound like the best solution in the scenario. As painful as some talks are, open communication makes for the most healthy relationship.

Kendra - posted on 07/10/2009

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Sorry if this posts twice, there was an error.



I'm sorry for your situation, it can be very frustrating. Your husband is the one who needs to talk with his parents and work the situation out. Also, he needs to not relay to them that it is only you having a problem with this. I really hope that the situation can be resolved, not fun for anyone!

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