Inviting a second man into our marriage?

Nina - posted on 01/25/2013 ( 3 moms have responded )

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My husband and I have been married for four years and have a great relationship and a new baby born in December 2012. My husband and I have a great sex life. We have never been sexually open to other people or anything like that. We both love our best friend very much, he is the godfather of our child. Our friend is a great guy, very smart and skilled in many ways, not to mention extremely extremely attractive. We are all in our early twenties, and have traveled a lot. My husband and I are considered inch asking our friend to join us in our marriage. My husband has never had any sexual attraction toward other men but wouldn't mind sharing me with our friend because we love him so much. I really only want my husband sexually but I do like the idea of being the center of attention and being showered with love by two amazing people. My husband also said he might like seeing me with another man. I think having three people to take care of each other sounds ideal, but maybe I'm being idealistic... Has anybody ever been in this kind of relationship? Can you share your experiences and tell me if you think it's a good idea to open our marriage to our wonderful friend?

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Michelle - posted on 01/26/2013

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The chances of it lasting as an open marriage isn't very good. Your husband says he "might" like to see you with another man but in reality he will probably get very jealous.

Fantasies are great but most of the time they should stay fantasies. When they become reality you can't undo it and there is a big chance you will lose the friendship as well as your marriage.

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Kelly - posted on 01/28/2013

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My SO and I have been together for 2 years and we discussed inviting a 3rd wheel or even a couple to join. He's been curious and thinks it might enhance our sex life. I was open to hearing him out and put the pros and cons together. For me, it's degrading....it's disrespecting my commitment to my man. He doesn't see it that. Because of this, we've been extremely shaky. I'm not comfortable and happy that my man wants to have sex with me and pass me along or whatever. We haven't done it, yet it has been destroying my relationship little by little.
I honestly don't know what good benefits come from this swinging lifestyle. I might be a prude.

Joni - posted on 01/27/2013

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Wow. That would scare me if my hubby said that. What if he decided he wants you to share him with another woman? If you love your friend so much why change what you have together?
I couldn't imagine that lifestyle nor do I want too.
Marriage is suppose to be one man and one woman. Trust those words.
If you truely love your husband and you want your marriage to last forever keep the door closed.
You may open more doors than you wish too which could result in lots of heartache. Your a momma all eyes will not be on you all the time soon your child will be center of attention.
Sounds to me like you both settled down way too soon!
Best luck!

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