Is anyone else disgusted with their "new" body?

User - posted on 03/14/2012 ( 21 moms have responded )

21

0

2

Some of this my be a little TMI



I have never felt so vain in my life, but then I have never felt this horribly about my own body for as long as I can remeber. I'm only 22 years old and I feel like an old. used. maid.



My body is broken.

I had gained weight before I got pregnant that I was constantly trying to loose. I weighed around 170lbs, I'm 5'3", I'm atheltic and was very strong physicaly. I had, what I considered a pretty nice rack too, I think. I was a 38D and curvy. Then I got pregnant. I was diagnosed with hyperemesis, which is your worst idea of morning sickness, then multiplied by 10. We actually know on what day I conceived my daughter because I was puking 18 hours later. This continued THE WHOLE PREGNANCY. My daughter was 4 days late and I was sick twice the day they induced my labor. Needless to say, I didn't gain any weight with my pregnancy, actually I lost almost 45lbs. I should be excited. I hate myself. My chest swelled to an impressive 36DD while I was breast feeding my daughter. After 4mon my supply ran out, my once beautiful perky boobs now look like deflated... I dont even know what. They're just saggy. They aren't good for feeding her, I'm too embarrassed to not wear a bra infront of my boyfriend, they aren't sexy, what good are they now? It was only after getting my period back and trying to use a tampon for the first time, that I horrified and embarrassed realised the difference I know my boyfriend had deffinately noticed. Not to mention the stretch marks. My little sister caught a look at them one day and gasped horrified telling me I looked like a burn vicitum. She then slapped her hand over her mouth terrified at what she said, because she hadn't meant anything by it, but really she's right...



Im only 22, I want to be the pretty young happy mom with her beautiful daughter that I see coming into the places I work, but most days I just try to get by without spending much time in the mirror. The dark circles and bags under my eyes are only getting worse...

My boyfriend tells me that I'm her mom so that makes me sexy, but I can't help but notice I look nothing like the girls he talks to. He tells me I'm pretty but I don't feel it. People have told me I look great for just having a baby but in reality, I hurt physically everywhere and I haven't been this physically weak since before highschool. It makes carring for my daughter harder and frustrating that I cant preform like I used to.



Is anyone else having trouble adjusting? How do you cope?

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Rachel - posted on 03/15/2012

21

28

0

Just remember: you have no idea what those moms look like naked! Push up bras, spanx and make-up do wonders for us women. My best friend is a skinny little thing, and looks great to everyone who see's her. But she's shown me her stomach. To be honest, I'd rather have my curvy body, than carry around all the extra skin she has. She literally has stretch marks from her boobs to the backs of her knees and everywhere in between. You'd never know all that, just to look at her walking down the street with her 2 girls.

It's so cliche, but you have grown and nourished another human being inside your body. Be proud of what you've done! When all else fails, get a breast lift (after you're done having kids)...that's what I'm going to do ;)

Lisa - posted on 03/15/2012

15

4

1

I'd say you might look into to seeing if u have post partum depression. All of our bodies go through hell to grow babies. But it sounds like it may be interfering with your mental state, making u depressed. Look into it, and believe that being a mom is the most beautiful, ugliest, hardest, rewarding, exhausting and fulfilling thing that a woman can do. U r beautiful, inside and out, and it sounds like u really need to go back to working out, u were probably reliant on the chemicals it made your body produce. Made u happy ;)

Kirstyn - posted on 03/14/2012

10

0

1

I know how you feel my body defently disgusts me more then it ever had before and i am haveing a ton of trouble loseing the weight i gained while i was pregnant. I look in the mirror and all i see is a disgusting person. Its been hard for me to cope but it helps alot that my husband tells me everyday that i am still beautiful and he will love me no matter what and trying to work out has helped a little bit to.

Destiny - posted on 10/06/2012

1

0

0

Congrats on ur baby girl..I had a little girl to about 3 weeks ago..I'm 21 years old I was 105lbs I gained 45 and only lost 7 after birth around 5 months I woke up covered in strech marks huge and purple thighs, belly, boobs, I cry sometimes because I no I will never be the same I might loose the wight ...I'm sure I will...but the marks are there forever my boyfriend is very supportive and tells me I'm beautiful n even says he like the belly and the marks because of what I went thru to carry our daughter n in a way I no he does think its beautiful but just like me he wishes it was how it was before..my little girl is BEAUTIFUL so I try to look at it like she took some of my pretty my good skin so she could be beautiful so its OK..n maybe its a little soon to be so upset about how we look in a year it might be 90% better..I guess u have to have the drive to do something about it..I heard mederma for strechmarks and bio-oil work very well, and exercise to loose the weight will also help with strechmarks..I hope we can all learn to love whatever we end up with.. I wouldn't change it because this is what happens during pregnancy and she is the best thing that ever happened to me

Valerie - posted on 03/18/2012

41

23

1

I understand how you feel completely. I'm 28 and pregnant with baby number 2. I was so excited when I get pregnant the first time...a baby!! Then like you, the morning sickness kicked in and even with medication it was horrible. Eventually it passed and then I had to eat constantly to keep from getting sick, so I gained like 50-60lbs. I'm about 5'9 and weighed about 160 before getting pregnant. I got the big boobs, stretch marks everywhere...thighs, belly, back, even on the sides of my knees. After the baby, I felt so different. Ugly, fat, exhausted. My whole body had swollen up to and then afterwards I was just left with layers of fat and a puffy face. I couldn't imagine how my husband could look at me. And my whole family just kept saying how big I was.



SO, I started doing Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred workout video. Cost's about $15 and is about 25 minutes long. The weight came off and I've since lost 80lbs. But even with that, I still have the stretch marks and I hate having to be in a swimsuit. Like you, I want to be cute again. It's frustrating to see other moms strutting around with their amazing boobs and supermodel bodies in bikinis when I'm still young and should be able to do the same. I tried a lot of creams and Mederma claims that their cream will get rid of stretch marks. I haven't tried it yet since I want to wait till this baby comes, but hopefully it works.



The only advice I would really hope you take is accept that getting back to normal is a process. You can't be thin and sexy again overnight. But with some effort, you can get pretty close to where you were. Make time for yourself to work out. Do your best to eat right. I found that counting calories is the easiest and most effective way to help get rid of weight. Drink lots of water, not soda, juice, or teas; they are just empty calories and won't get you where you want to be. Need a flavor in your water, add lemon. It took me several months to lose all that weight, but each time I moved to lower weight bracket, I felt so much better about myself.



And if you are still struggling, ask your doctor or dermatologist what you can do about removing stretch marks. I feel your pain and hope that things work out for you. Hang in there and try to find another mom to hang out with. She can probably sympathize and be supportive, especially if your sister/ friends haven't had kids yet. Check out a Mommy & Me class or see if there is a MOPS play group. Adjusting is hard but it gets easier.



Good luck!!

This conversation has been closed to further comments

21 Comments

View replies by

Diana - posted on 03/26/2013

1

0

0

I totally understand you!!!! Just a day ago I was thinking about this and made me very upset!!! I'm 22 and I had my baby in 2010 about 2 years ago I'm 5"1 and before him I weighted 142 so I wasn't small and I gained up to 190! Which is ALOT! And I gained it all at the end so I have alot of stretch marks and after I weighted 170ish about half a year ago I started my workouts and now I weight 130 so I've lost alot of weight even weight less than ever before! And I'm happy but it makes me sad cuz my boobs are saggy and have gotten smaller from all the weight lost and I still have alot I stretch marks from gaining alot of weight and my belly looks weird kinda saggy skin :/ I feel like even with all the weight lost I will never have the body I always wanted and I know it's cuz I had a child, and it makes you feel like yea but your only 22 with the body of a much much older women, and I do sometimes feel like my bf cares but he says he doesn't he loves me for the person I am not what I look like but you know how they are, and honestly if you have to use creams or whatever to make you feel better about your body do it but always do it for your self no one else, you have to live with your body but sooner even the most nicest bodies will fade with time so don't feel bad I try not too cuz there's nothing I can really do unless I get surgery but I don't know if I even wanna go there

Shyquita - posted on 03/22/2012

9

0

0

I feel you too, i am 19 and have a little boy, and i was like 135 when i found out i was pregnant (knowing i've been small all my life) and during a pregnancy they say you should gain like 30lbs but everyone's body isn't the same. so with that said i gained 40lbs with my pregnancy so with that being said i was 175 when i was giving birth and with me being as short as i am (5ft exact) that's not a good look. so after the pregnancy i was very sore and really couldn't move cause during my vaginal birth my son was born SUNNY SIDE UP and had to be cut twice going down (which messed up my plans for exercising not to far after delivery) and that was a very challenging thing for me.



So now i weigh 153 (was happy when i found that out) but the stretch marks aren't gone anywhere i have them on my bottom, thighs, stomach, and arms. i have a belly now and my little perky 36B is now laying low :( and now working out is not even a choice right now because all my time evolves around him at all time. my boyfriends schedule is no good cause he works from 2 to 11 and he tells me i look good but that him and he cant possible feel how i feel about myself but it do encourages me sometime. the good thing left is that i only have about 20lbs left to lose so maybe it will work good for both of us if we just workout and eat better as much as we can. i hope i was encouraging :)

Ashley - posted on 03/22/2012

15

8

0

i am 24 and i hate my body!!! i have 2 little ones and trying to lose the weight. my husband tells me i am too hard on myself. hoping the weight leaves soon. :)

Jenny_D - posted on 03/18/2012

169

12

3

I have a similar story, so I will show you how I cope. I started my pregnancy at about the same weight as you. I also had terrible morning sickness the WHOLE 9 months during BOTH my pregnancies. I also developed preeclampsia both times...so I had a rough time. In high school, I was a popular, fit, cheerleader and now with my 10 year reunion less than 3 months away, I feel slightly embarrassed that I look totally different than when I graduated. I am about 45 pounds heavier, stretch marks, a belly that constantly looks bloated due to diastasis (sp?), etc. The one and only thing that really helps me feel ok about all this is the fact that I gave birth to 2 beautiful girls and I try to wear my "battle scars" proudly. Also, my husband thinks I am the best looking girl he knows, and I can tell he is being honest...he can't keep his hands off me ;o), so that helps.



As far as you feeling weak and hurting everywhere, that will get better with time. Start working out and eating healthy and eventually you will feel much better about yourself. It does get easier as time goes on. (I am starting to finally lose weight)!! And lastly, one thing that I think mentally helps me is trying to not worry about impressing everyone else but just doing the best you can for *you* because really, does anyone else really care what you look like? Everyone is pretty much worried about themselves....

[deleted account]

I'm 26 yrs old and I hate my body. I have always been under weight. Many people have told me "Oh you look great for having 3 kids! It's not fair!" Yet no one knows the struggles I face with this issue. I was 110lbs when I got pregnant. I dont rememebr how much I gained with my first, but it was close to 30lbs and it made me so happy-minus the tons of stretch marks on my hindend and my breast. While nursing my oldest my breast of course got larger and I went from an 36A to a 36D. (So excited about that one) after her I went back to 110 lbs, and my 36D turned into a 36B (Still not bad but not that same). Got pregnant with #2 and gained roughly 30Lbs and after her went to 123. (Totally happy with where I was at that point) My B's went to D's again with nursing so I loved everything! After nursing I went from a D back to a B. Got pregnant with #3 and and gained 45 lbs went back up to a D and was struggling with the idea of a baby I wasnt planning for and my husband losing his job then starting a new one and lost every bit of my weight. After I stoped nursing I went back to 114lbs (which is under weight for my height by 15lbs, my breast are flatter the a tire that hit stop sticks in a high speed chase, my butt is covered in stretch marks, my hair gets thrown into a ponytail, I live in comfy pants and t-shirts to hide how I look and I cant find ANY jeans that fit me, I rarely wear make-up, and with my youngest being only 15 months old I smell like poop, I have cheerios in my hair, I'm not sure what we spilled on the couch, I have dark circles under my eyes, and I'm tired so so so tired.

Every Mom struggles with image issues. Just because those girls look happy when they walk in to where you work doesnt mean that they were happy this morning when the baby was screaming, breakfast was burning, the dog was barking, they hadnt showered in 2 weeks, and they were crying in frustration.

Now as for how I cope...I don't. I just try to remind myself that I'm this way because I loved my babies enough to choose life over parties, bikinis and my body. Good luck!

Rach - posted on 03/18/2012

6

26

0

I'm having some issues too. I never lost the belly. I'm 5 3" and about 145 pounds. Jessica I would do anything to be ur size. Ur not fat. I'm a stay at home mom too and I know the feeling. Thank god the worm wether is back. Take ur childern for walks that will help. (I'm telling myself this too) my daughter is almost 2 and I still have a belly. I was like 135 before I got pregnant. And only gained 30 pounds. I lost most of it when Ihad her but I still have a belly. I don't feel sexy I just feel fat. And my bf says I should tone up he thinks I'm pretty but I should tone up. It hurts a little but he's trying to help. Were all beautiful in our own way. I hope everything works out

Rach - posted on 03/18/2012

6

26

0

I'm having some issues too. I never lost the belly. I'm 5 3" and about 145 pounds. Jessica I would do anything to be ur size. Ur not fat. I'm a stay at home mom too and I know the feeling. Thank god the worm wether is back. Take ur childern for walks that will help. (I'm telling myself this too) my daughter is almost 2 and I still have a belly. I was like 135 before I got pregnant. And only gained 30 pounds. I lost most of it when Ihad her but I still have a belly. I don't feel sexy I just feel fat. And my bf says I should tone up he thinks I'm pretty but I should tone up. It hurts a little but he's trying to help. Were all beautiful in our own way. I hope everything works out

Christiine - posted on 03/18/2012

99

0

9

i know how u feel im 22 before i got pregnant with my son i weighted 158lbs i went to 237lbs when i was 9 months pregnant i gained over 80lbz with one pregnany after he was born i went down to 215lbs i hate it to and not to mention the hanging belly fat gross

Hannah - posted on 03/18/2012

105

7

13

My sex life is ruined because the muscles down there have collapsed! I may even need an operation although the doctors' are reluctant because I'm only 25 and might want more kids (I have two). Have to say it's really depressing, no one knows about it except me and my husband but I still can't help feeling I'm not a propper woman. I'm also worried sex is so bad that my husband will get bored and leave me. They don't tell you these things can happen before you have kids!

Ashley - posted on 03/16/2012

6

6

0

I have had five children!!! My weight was a whole 100, now I am 165. I would live to lose about 20 of that. However, we all have been givin a beautiful thing in our children. Yourself worth is not in how much you weighed or what you weigh at this very moment. We are not barbies, and have all been givin our own body shapes before and after babies. Eat right do your workouts to be healthy not skinny.

Sarah - posted on 03/16/2012

21

16

1

I felt the same shortly after birth... Even my OB was like "has it always been this... loose... down here??" Talk about embarassing!!-- I really had some body issues... but let me tell you, the stretch marks faded (not completely, but i can wear bathing suits again without wanting to hide), my boobs-- my pretty perky boobs that turned flat and long and hideous (uck!!) started pulling in and regained there shape :) and down there is MUCH tighter than it has been in a while... healthy diet, exercise and more than anything, TIME. My daughter is 2 1/2 now, and it took until she was almost 2 for my body to start feeling MINE again, the body i knew and loved. Didn't really have weight issues, but i mean, childbearing does a hell of a number on you in a superfast time frame, sometimes, it just takes a little longer for things to go back to normal... Hope this helps!

Kelina - posted on 03/16/2012

2,018

9

235

Welcome to motherhood! I'd go see your doctor about PPD but otherwise, you're going to have to learn to live with how your body looks. You can't change the outside until you've changed the inside. Yes, things xhange that you'll never get rid of. Stretch marks never go away but they do fade. Your vagina is never going to be the same. Same for your boobs. The right bra will make them look great in clothes, but without surgery they'll never be perky again. That lethargy you speak of? you've never had to get up several times a night and take car eof another human being have you? It takes time to get used to. To have energy again. And all that vomiting? made you lose a lot of nutrients in your body. You need to build those back up by eating the right foods and because of all that time you spent hugging your toilet if you want to be as physically strong as you were before you got pregnant you'll have to work for it. Taking care of a child is exhausting. I'm your age and have two, with another on the way. While I never got as sick as you did, For the last 2 1/2 months of my pregnancy with my daughter I was in so much pain, I phsyically could not walk to the end of the driveway to check my mail. It was torture trying to take care of a 1 year old. That continued right up until about a month after I had her. when I gave birth to her I lost something like 2 litres of blood. It took a long time before I was able to walk farther than the bathroom without feeling faint. I had to have my MIL take my son every day that my husband was a work for two weeks and then he had two weeks off to take care of me. Even at the end of that it was almost 6 months before I started feeling relatively good again. And a hell of a lot of work. I did have PPD after both kids and was on medication for it. Go to your doctor. Get your iron and thyroid checked, and talk to them about PPD. And let your boyfriend show you that you're still sexy to him. things aren't the same after you give birth, that doesn't mean they're bad.

Rosa - posted on 03/16/2012

28

7

1

It's been 8 yrs for me trying to adjust. The way people see me I look good for my weight 210lbs. That's just after having my 2nd kid this last summer. I was 140lbs when I was 19 and got pregnant with the first and I gained 60lbs I was devastated to be at the 200 mark but I lost 30 of it when I had her and gained 10 back 6 months later. I was 180 lbs for 6 yrs. It was horrible no matter what I do I don't lose weight. I actually gained 15 more lbs when I got back together with my first childs dad after 6yrs. needless to say that didn't last. When I had my youngest I weighed 196 and stayed at that i only gained 16lbs on that pregnancy and now my body well I'm thinking about a tummy tuck a friend of mine just did it. I feel like adam sandler on Click where he flaps his belly skin. I'm not kidding you and its just on my torso My arms and legs aren't flabby just my belly and boobs though my boobs been like this since my first one and one is bigger than the other it's embarassing to get naked in front of my bf, But I keep telling myself if he loves me than he loves ALL of me lol but I'm slowly excercising and I HAD to change my diet which ain't helping. This pregnancy made me allergic to milk so no candy or ice cream at all. There goes my love for chocolate and I can't drink ANY soda at all. It makes my belly inflate and I'm cramping within seconds of drinking it. So hopefully my change in diet and what I drink and the excersicing will help me with my problem. I hope you find a solution to yours. But these are the scars to show the pain and sacrifice we went through to bring our kids into the world (not that it's a great world :P)

Merry - posted on 03/15/2012

9,274

169

263

Yeah I think I look smoking hot when clothed!

But my boobs sag and are lopsided, they are full of stretch marks, my belly is flabbier then it was. I hide in time with exercise I can help get my body good again but if not' I did an amazing thing creating my kids and I hope to find peace in that.

But yeah, just looking at myself naked I get a bit mad and sad

[deleted account]

Damn I could relate. I was 82lbs before I found out I was pregnant. When I gave birth I was 115 lbs. Now I'm 120 and can't seem to go down. When I gave birth I started working out when I reached my goal I stop working out and gain it all back This is depressing because This is a never ending thing. That means I will have to work out through out the years to keep the weight. I see a lot of moms who are still skinny and don't like they had kids. That makes me frustrated and being short like I am makes it worst. Ugh I am a little depress OK a lot I think that's the reason why I don't want to do anything. I'm also a stay at home mom so makes it worst that I don't have the energy.



I hope all works out and maybe you should join a gym. My FH going to start a diet so that is going to help me too. I know what you mean about breast. y looks like a saggy hag. I don't got stretchmarks on my stomach but I do make it in my breast and butt and thighs. I love my son but sometimes I view it if I didn't have him I wouldn't be struggling with weight. I never had too. I was always a stick. Ugh



I hope all works out.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms